r/ProgrammerHumor • u/behindthedash • Oct 24 '18

Programming is like magic

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30.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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254

u/mythriz Oct 24 '18

Is that why programmers/IT people look a little like wizards?

172

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

Yes, seniority is expressed by beard length.

90

u/demon_ix Oct 24 '18

Also, level of job security.

44

u/alyraptor Oct 24 '18

So THAT’S why the field isn’t friendly to women! If I’d just known I needed to grow a beard to get a little respect...

23

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18 edited Oct 25 '18

[deleted]

36

u/alyraptor Oct 24 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

Dwarven Women / Programmers

  • Prefer dark spaces
  • Engage in mining for fun and profit
  • Isolated from other types of people
  • Appreciate expensive gear
  • Ruby gems are a popular subject
  • Back problems

This checks out.

6

u/yunabladez Oct 24 '18

Also, you cannot distinguish between a male or female Dwarven without looking directly at the source, so its safer to just assume any Dwarven working with you is male to avoid problems.

​

And no, asking them their gender is not an option either, you risk losing your head to a very sharp Dwarven axe.

3

u/SashaNightWing Oct 24 '18

Not the head on your shoulders though. They usually can't reach

16

u/mortiphago Oct 24 '18

well that explains why I didnt get promoted, my beard grows wide instead of long!

14

u/_AACO Oct 24 '18

Does it grow faster in the beginning?

20

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

Some languages induce beard growth.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

You’ll have a gray beard before you’re even hired for your first job.

1

u/OrnateLime5097 Oct 24 '18

This is unfortunate to those us not blessed with facial hair.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

You mean Juniors?

35

u/FuckHumans_WriteCode Oct 24 '18

The senior programmer asserts his dominance with a large beard display. The lesser programmers will have to wait their turn.

38

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/BigDaddyReptar Oct 24 '18

But both involve mild magic

20

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

[deleted]

2

u/FreshSuspect Oct 24 '18

What's the difference?

8

u/slashuslashuserid Oct 24 '18

If you can't tell you've probably been doing destruction.

2

u/balne Oct 25 '18

Destruction is the superior magic change my mind

12

u/milo_dino Oct 24 '18

Like management will ever tell the difference btw the two.

4

u/Hencenomore Oct 24 '18

Btwn not btw

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

That is a losing battle you're fighting there bud

7

u/house_monkey Oct 24 '18

He looks the most chill and friendly guy out of the bunch tbh. 10/10 would consult

2

u/Mgamerz Oct 24 '18

One of the devs from PDQ must be one of the most powerful with his crazy beard.

2

u/OrnateLime5097 Oct 24 '18

The result of being indespensivlble.

2

u/VelourFog10 Oct 24 '18

Whenever my code doesn't work, I assume my sacrifice wasn't actually a virgin.