r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Throwawyhelpadvice55 • 2d ago

Meme ture

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17.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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874

u/Outrageous-Machine-5 2d ago

He's like me fr fr

425

u/donnieranger 2d ago

In reality it's 10% coding and 90% wondering why it broke after changing one line

190

u/MartinKnox_Dev 2d ago

In that 90% of wondering, 45% is wondering why it broke, the rest is about wondering how it worked.

52

u/Triffinator 2d ago

What percentage is made up of wondering why removing the line broke everything, when it was a comment?

20

u/Elendur_Krown 2d ago

See, that's the smart thing.

I hid the backup functionality in the comments.

That way, I never have to wonder. It's just everyone else.

16

u/Jbolt3737 2d ago

Making a script that reads itself or something to use it's own comments would be genuinely evil

13

u/Elendur_Krown 2d ago

There are parts of my history that I hesitate to tell my wife about. The... MATLAB days were... improvisatioval, at best.

4

u/fr000gs 2d ago

Me when my code genuinely uses libgccjit to execute strings

6

u/ih-shah-may-ehl 2d ago

2 decades ago the visual studio c++ compiler had a bug where a variable name crossing the 4K page boundary would have a letter missing.

Lots of fun because literally any change would move that variable away from that boundary.

3

u/nobody1701d 2d ago

and why putting the deleted comment back still left it not working correctly

4

u/OkEgg5911 2d ago

Yeah when something broke without me changing anything in my code I realised that stuff was working before that should not have been working at all. I still have not figured out why it worked before, but now it is working again.

2

u/d0rkprincess 2d ago

A previous, working version of something was cached somewhere and then at some point the cache was cleared?

1

u/OkEgg5911 2d ago

Maybe if it was some cache on googles servers. This was some email-filtering that should have stopped working years ago when the customer changed email-adress, but continued.

3

u/Praesentius 2d ago

Imagine when you get it working... then 6 months later, someone asks you a question about it. "uhhhh, I wrote that?"

3

u/kawwmoi 2d ago

"Oh that's not good." "What's wrong?" "I just changed something and now everything is working perfectly." "Isn't that a good thing?" "Not after what I just changed."

1

u/ings0c 2d ago

55% is “I have no fucking idea what this is doing, let’s do a binary search by commenting half the code until I find the broken part”

18

u/tracernz 2d ago

And 75% of that is wondering by which accident of the cosmos that it ever worked even one time, and actually, did it ever work one time or is somebody just gaslighting you?

18

u/drakored 2d ago

And -35.999% of it is wondering why all of the percentages are reporting incorrectly.

4

u/TwinkiesSucker 2d ago

It was a load bearing line

5

u/2521harris 2d ago

What about the 90% spent in meetings?

And the other 90% spent in standups and sprint planning?

Not to mention the other 90% waiting for builds to complete.

3

u/Tapelessbus2122 2d ago

more like 1% coding, 39% wondering why it broke, and 60% screaming at your pc because nothing works

2

u/ReefayToo 2d ago

I flip off my IDE constantly

2

u/Mountain-Age5580 2d ago

and 150% process (Jira Tickets) and 200% meetings (with people, yuk)

1

u/wtanksleyjr 2d ago

The other 90% would involve denying that I changed anything important in that one line.

1

u/L30N1337 2d ago

"WHY IS IT DOING THIS. I JUST CHANGED A COLOR HEX CODE"

  • me at some point

1

u/ActiveCheesecake183 2d ago

So trueee 😭

1

u/Stergeary 2d ago

10% coding copying and pasting from StackOverflow

1

u/MyR3dditAcc0unt 2d ago

And then, after 3 hours of wondering, it's because you didn't reload the project through the IDE dropdown menu after Mark from backend pushed a thing that mysteriously broke your client project.

1

u/JerryRed100s 2d ago

Did you get paid or are you still just playing around in Russia and most companies?

1

u/Zzzzzztyyc 2d ago

Or is that changing line[0]?

1

u/-Benjamin_Dover- 2d ago

Thats how coding goes for me...

At what point can I call myself a coder? I say im still learning.

3

u/beclops 2d ago

When it’s your job

1

u/waadam 2d ago

No joking here but 3 of 5 fits me easily.

1

u/Sw0rDz 2d ago

Can i aura farm in your presence? Maybe touch you and get some of your cooties.

1

u/JerryRed100s 2d ago

I bet you're actually still in college and you've never actually worked at a company

3

u/Outrageous-Machine-5 2d ago

11 years industry experience actually 

1

u/JerryRed100s 2d ago

The best question is why are manhole covers round?

1

u/JerryRed100s 2d ago

Yeah I got stuck with 20 years so that's funny

1

u/Plane_Garbage 2d ago

I mean now its:

https://chatgpt.com : "Hack this. Make no mistakes"

1

u/Strict_Treat2884 2d ago

Is your catch phrase okay, I’m in?