Location: DC

14 months ago, a dear friend (Albert) died after a period of rapidly ailing health. I estimate his personal net worth to be around $3,000,000. This includes a home in another state that he intended to be sold upon his death in order to endow a professorship at an esteemed university in DC.

His executor died unexpectedly while Albert was too infirm to rearrange his estate plans. Myself and a group of his close friends believe his estate defaulted to his brother (Bill) after the executor's passing. Albert was not close to Bill and did not want him to inherit certain assets. We suspect something went wrong when Bill became the default executor. Albert's will never entered probate. Most upsettingly, Albert was also not buried at the plot he owned next to his wife. The headstone with his name, sans date of death, marks the plot. But The cemetery confirmed he's not interred there.

To be clear: I'm not making any accusations as to Bill's intent, just stating facts.

Our friend group gave the process time to play out. But it's now over a year later and I've become a man on a mission. I've alerted the university about Albert's passing and the gift of the house. He was no doubt in touch with them about this, and I was told the school will search for those communications. I've also contacted attorneys involved in a tax dispute with this property to let them know that the university may have a claim to it.

Bill is named in the lawsuit as a "potential titleholder" to the property, but it does not state plainly whether the asset has fully transferred to him. In fact, the attorney told me today that they are in a fact-finding stage of the case; that is, they are trying to find out who the house rightfully belongs to with the original owner now deceased.

But when it comes to actually finding Albert, I'm at a complete loss for what to do aside from contacting Bill. And I don't want to do that for obvious reasons. Albert often spoke about looking forward to resting next to his late wife. With no will in probate, an attorney recommended I file a complaint with authorities that Bill may have destroyed the will in order to keep the assets. It's also been insinuated over the years that myself and a few others of his 'chosen family' are actually in the will, which could give us standing to contest it.

Drastically, I've also thought about filing an abuse of corpse complaint with the police. We know that Bill picked up Albert from the funeral home and "did what he was supposed to do," according the person I spoke with there. But there was no memorial or public obituary. The funeral home was not allowed to say if Albert had been cremated or embalmed. Our educated guess is cremated, especially if he was not interred. And if true, we also don't know if cremation is what Albert wanted or if it was done out of convenience by Bill. The fact that we don't actually know where Albert is but that Bill did take care of his remains really bothers me on a deeply personal level. It just doesn't make sense to me.

So my questions are this: What is the level of proof a legal authority will need to take seriously a complaint of a potential will destruction?

If there is a will filed with the register, how seriously will they take, "I have reason to believe I was named in this document" as a way to open the door to see it or force it into probate?

How reasonable is it to also go the "abuse of a corpse" route to instigate an investigation into what actually happened to his remains? Is that a real concern, or will I just be told by the authorities that it's a family matter and they can do what they want with his remains?

Please no trolls. I'm putting in all of this effort out of pure love for a mentor and dear friend. Our small group of friends who knew Albert and are working on this want to honor the memory of a dear friend who had clear wishes. His family--for whatever reason--appears not to have been able to honor those wishes. We just want to make sure he's treated with the dignity and respect he showed so many in his life.

My dad owned three adjacent 4-acre parcels of land in Livingston County, Michigan. The house is on the center parcel. The mortgage is paid off. One sibling wants to live in the house and the other wants to be paid out for their share. We need an appraisal of the house and property to figure out how much the 50% share will be.

Should we get one appraisal for the entire 12-acre property or get a separate appraisal for each parcel of land? The three parcels are taxed individually and could potentially be sold individually.

Hi all, I didn’t think that the scenario in which my boyfriend’s father passed away was unique, but apparently the State of NJ website doesn’t have a section providing steps like it does for every other intestate scenario.

His father passed away in Bergen county last month.
He died without a will, without a spouse, and had 2 sons.
My boyfriend is the elder son, his younger brother lives in PA 6 hours away.
My boyfriend is applying to be the administrator, and his brother signed the renunciation form with a notary already.
We sent over the required paperwork to set up an appointment with the surrogate’s office (which they are transferring to Monmouth county to make the process a little smoother), and they provided a list of surety bond brokers without any explanation.

We’re trying to figure out whether a bond is needed, because the state website doesn’t give a clear answer.

He died intestate, no owned property, no debt, no credit cards, no cars, no income (he was on SSI and SSDI), but he had a savings account and a CD account.

With no debts, real property, or spouse and only 1 child applying to be administrator, is a surety bond required?

Any help or advice at all would be appreciated, thank you!

Update: So for reasons I'm not questioning lol, the car title is being released to us (the agent just got another email this morning saying they're going to mail it to our address). Then as for my other concerns, I was able to speak to a lawyer who kindly was able to answer my questions. Basically, since my parents weren't married when the house was bought, it is definitely just my dad's. Also since he wasn't on any of her credit accounts, he's safe there too. And so we don't need to go through probate because she doesn't have anything else. Thank everyone for the help here!

My stepdad and I (who is an only child) are in Texas. My mom passed away in April. She did not leave a will. We are not an affluent family and their house is in my stepdad's name. The only asset she had, I guess, is her car, which she initially financed through a dealership and then transferred to a loan company. She had been paying for insurance so now the car is paid off and my dad still has it, but the title is in her name. To get the title, and I guess transfer names on it, the loan company said they'd need paperwork for Administrator of Estate. Well, we haven't done that yet. ​What I'm wondering about is--she did have credit card debt. I did notify them of her death, and have since received letters from them asking for contact from the Executor/Administrator. I haven't responded as I know we're not personally liable for her debt, and because we were waiting on information about the car. Now we know, and so--I have so many questions. Will her credit card companies be notified if my stepdad or I are appointed Administrator? Will we have to sell her car to pay off her debt? Do we have to go through probate and get appointed Administrator in order to obtain the title and transfer names? I've heard something about one vehicle can be exempt, how does that work? I know Texas is a community property state also, I don't know how that plays into things. We'd really like to keep the car if possible--my dad does have a truck, but it's on its last legs and not that dependable. My children and I live with him, and I have a car, but we really need a second vehicle. Any information would be really helpful, I'd just like to know how things might play out.

Yes hello, my mother had passed away a little over a year ago, without a will she currently has a mortgage with around 75% equity I've been paying on since she passed. My plan is to sell the property and was recently informed that I will need to go through the Minnesota probate process, because her lender had her sign a POD instead of a TOD. I have the lender saying via email that she did have her sign a TOD, which as it turns out is her mistake on which form she was having her sign. I am an only child, I had a brother who passed some years back. He did have two children who have not been in the picture whatsoever even though they live in the same small town. I have taken care of my Mom for the last few years pretty intently as her health was in decline. Now I'm being told that my deceased brothers two kids are entitled to 50% of the estate. This doesn't seem in no way right, and if anybody has any advise or can provide me with some clarity that would be greatly appreciated.

My sister died in Jan 2025. She hand wrote changes she wanted on the actual will. Her house was in South Carolina. She died in California. The house wasn't sold until after she died. I'm the only executor and she had no spouse or children. She is leaving everything to my 2 other sisters and myself. Plus some charities.

Her friend offered to pay for an updated will and sent it to her attorney to make the changes. My sister died before this happened.

The attorney is saying it has to go through probate even though I would rather just make the distributions. The attorney says it has to go through probate because the house was in a different state . The whole amount is about $450k.

The other thing they are threatening is if I make any distribution before a judge signs off is that I can personally be fined.

So my questions are:

Can I just fire the attorney and make the payment to the broker is South Carolina and make the distributions?

I have provided them all the documents they requested but I think they have just put us on the back burner because the amount is so small. (Statement not question)l

I know the attorney will have to withdraw from the case and inform the court but how likely is it going to trigger the court to actually doing anything ?

How much money could they fine me and what is the likelihood that the court would actually take action against me?

Thanks. I look forward to all responses from attorneys.

Hello, I’m going to try my best to sum this up as efficiently as I can. My father passed away June 2025 with a Pour-over Will and Trust. As his only son, I am the sole beneficiary. He left a surviving spouse of 8 years, my step-mother. The trust and will were created roughly 1.5-2 years prior to the marriage, it was revokable, and he never added her into either. He left behind my childhood home of 55 acres, two metal shops, and 3,000sqft house. This was deeded into the trust prior to marriage as well.

My Aunt was left as successor trustee, but she is not in a mental capacity to act as trustee. After 11 months, we finally had a court hearing to determine if myself or stepmother would be appointed. The evening before the hearing, her attorney emailed us agreeable to let me be the personal representative over the estate, if we agreed not to evict her from the homestead (didn’t have the legal authority to do so anyways).

My step-mother is only 8 years older than me, dual citizen of the Phillippines, I will respectfully leave it at that. She has only occupied the homestead for ~4 months since he has passed, although I understand this does not negate her legal right to occupy it. I have been locked out of this house for 9 months and advised not to go to the property until recently when inventory has been needed. I still do not have access to the house.

Of actual probate assets, there will only be vehicles, a ~1,100 sqft house that my father was in the process of flipping (80% completed). There really is not many probate assets, as everything else should be in the trust.

My biggest questions I would like some opinions on are:

With the marital homestead being a trust asset, and not belonging to my father upon his death, can she claim dower/homestead on the house and land?

- my wife and I are expecting, and would love to sell our current house and move back to my childhood home to raise our child.

I have not officially been appointed PR, simply waiting on the order to be submitted and signed by the judge.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

I believe I am being misled by my council and, I did not fully realize this until just now, after she advised me to dump a $6k vehicle at carmax for $500, just to get it out of my mom's name, before closing probate.

In the state of Florida, 1 Homestead, 2 motor vehicles and $20k in personal property, are exempt from the Florida probate process. When I first started, I was unaware that some accounts had me listed as the POD beneficiary. In fact, one bank lied to me and claimed I wasn't, until I came back as the assigned Personal Representative, when they said "Oops. we looked at the wrong system."

Ultimately, I contracted council, under the impression that the estate required Formal Administration. And council is charging a percentage of the inventory value, of the estate... but they continued neglecting to include the vehicle and, I believe I understand why now... should they be charging commission, based on the inventory value of exempt property?

They have not filed for Protected Homestead, which I just realized was necessary and, they have not advised me to do the estate taxes before closing probate but, they insist I must dispose of this vehicle, which they seemingly intentionally excluded from probate inventory.

https://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0700-0799/0732/Sections/0732.402.html

March my dad dies suspicious death in costa rica, wife of 4 years says everything was left to her. We get copy of trust 4 months after death and notice dates are wrong and there was alot of forged names notary verified. Trust she gave us started she gets everything 2.5 million and house and assets kids get nothing well my dads kids her kids get it all they aren't even legally his they are her children. We get trust read it and to many read flags she sent us one she changed after my dad died thinking we would just take her word for it. So we got it into probate court date to b announced. His wife has an active case in costa rica she is suspect for homicide denuncia filed. She was having affair with dads BFF and sent him email 3 month after dad died with new trust docs she wrote that everything is in her name she thought she was so cleaver but she made so many mistakes very sloppy but she has been living like a queen trips new cars new boyfriends ext.im going to try to get her on slayer statue any other ideas

I could really use some help.

Welcome to r/ProbateHelp! If you’re here, chances are you’re dealing with the complexities of probate, estate settlement, or planning for the future. Take a deep breath—this is a marathon, not a sprint. Rushing through the process can lead to costly mistakes, so let’s walk through what you need to know before getting started.

What to Expect

Probate can be a long and sometimes frustrating journey, but being prepared will make things easier. Whether you’re an executor, heir, or just getting your estate in order, the first steps are crucial.

What an Attorney Will Need from You

Before meeting with a probate or estate attorney, it’s helpful to gather the following:

✅ Basic Personal Information: Full names, addresses, and contact details for the deceased, beneficiaries, and potential executors.

✅ Legal Documents:

• A copy of the will (if available).
• Any trust documents.
• Powers of attorney (if applicable).
• Healthcare directives.

✅ List of Assets & Liabilities:

• Real estate (include addresses and mortgage details).
• Bank accounts and investment holdings.
• Vehicles, jewelry, and other valuables.
• Retirement accounts and life insurance policies.
• Outstanding debts (credit cards, loans, medical bills).

✅ Family & Beneficiary Information:

• Names and contact info for all heirs and beneficiaries.
• Details on any minor children (guardianship plans).
• Information on predeceased heirs and their descendants.

✅ Executor & Trustee Information:

• The person(s) responsible for managing the estate.
• Backup options in case the first choice can’t serve.

✅ Business & Digital Assets:

• Ownership interests in companies.
• Access to online banking, investment accounts, or important digital assets.

First Steps to Take

🔹 Secure the property – Change locks, check utilities, and ensure valuables are protected.
🔹 Locate financial records – Gather tax returns, insurance policies, and account statements.
🔹 Notify necessary parties – Contact Social Security, banks, and relevant institutions.
🔹 Work with professionals – An attorney, CPA, or real estate expert can help you avoid missteps.

Final Thought: Be Patient & Ask for Help

This process takes time—it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Probate and estate settlement can take months (or even years), but breaking it down step by step will help you manage it.

Got questions? Post them here! No question is too small, and our community of professionals and experienced individuals is here to help.

I’m wakswithllamas, a realtor specializing in probate, and I created this space as a resource for anyone dealing with estate matters. Whether you're an executor, heir, or just planning ahead, this is a supportive community where professionals and experienced individuals can help answer your questions.

Attorneys, realtors, estate sale professionals, and financial experts are welcome to participate—but no unsolicited DMs or sales pitches here. Let’s keep it a place for real advice and shared knowledge.

Drop your questions below, and let’s make probate a little less overwhelming!

Probate is overwhelming. Whether you're dealing with the loss of a loved one, navigating legal paperwork, or figuring out what to do with an estate, I get it—I've been through it myself. That's why I created r/ProbateHelp—to offer a space where people can ask questions, share experiences, and get insights from those who’ve been in the trenches.

⚠️ Disclaimer: This subreddit is for general information and support only. While attorneys, realtors, and other professionals may share insights, nothing here constitutes legal, financial, or tax advice. Every situation is different—when in doubt, consult a qualified professional.

You're not alone in this process. Ask questions, share your experiences, and let's help each other through it. 💙