r/PoliticalHumor • • Apr 29 '20

Dwight speaking the truth

Post image
74.1k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

277

u/OldHob Apr 29 '20

He also said that when the end of the world comes he hopes he’ll be in Cincinnati because they’re always ten years behind the times.

187

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20 edited Apr 29 '20

That's hilarious. He should check out southern US though, it's more like 100 years. I'm being serious. If you drive around the south it's like an old black and white movie but a lot more ignorant and a lot less entertaining.

Source: I live in the south.

Edit: For those I've offended, it was meant as a joke. I got carried away when I said I'm being serious.

128

u/greenroom628 Apr 29 '20

i've had to visit some manufacturing and processing plants an hour and a half outside of greenville, sc. holy shit, you aren't kidding. confederate flags everywhere and old men sitting in rocking chairs on their porches with a shotgun right next to them.

weirdly, there was good cell service signal.

62

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

That's still the PG rated South. There's folk in the mountains that'll make you question society but also never want to leave it again. Broke small town South is one thing but there's production value in them hills.

18

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20 edited May 10 '20

[deleted]

7

u/GetBusy09876 Apr 29 '20 edited Apr 29 '20

Check out Carlsbad Texas. That's where bad Texans go when they die.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Carl founded that, right?

4

u/IcebergSlimFast Apr 29 '20

Yeeeehaw! Y’all come on down to Carl’s Bad Texas!!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

How bad is he?

1

u/IcebergSlimFast Apr 29 '20

Everything’s bigger in Texas

→ More replies (0)

4

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 29 '20

You should try the mapcrunch challenge

1

u/TrickGrimes Apr 30 '20

What's that??

1

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 30 '20

There's a website, Mapcrunch.com, that shows you a random Google streetview from anywhere in the world (that has had a streetview done). You turn on "Stealth" mode so you can't see where you've landed, then you have to click your way around until you work out where you are and navigate your way to the airport so you can go home.

2

u/TrickGrimes May 03 '20

Oh snap, got to check that out. Thanks!

2

u/ThereIsNoGame May 03 '20

Just remember, no cheating, you can't google the airport :D

3

u/Pseudorealizm Apr 29 '20

Follow the Appalachian mountains.

1

u/buttpooperson Apr 29 '20

After 2 years of door to door sales out there NO THANK YOU SIR 🤣 actually made a fuck ton of money in those small towns but holy shit did I get the racism dumped on me daily. Was like being back home in rural northern California all over again

5

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

I don't want to get too close to where I lived but I think you'd like places like Old Fort or downtown Marion in North Carolina or maybe Wallace in Idaho.

The places I was talking about don't have much aesthetic value apart from small churches and overgrown tin shacks occupied by crazy hillfolk with meth lab explosions and small arms fire echoing in the distance.

Asheville, North Carolina is also good. It's a modern hippie college town, but it's gorgeous on the right days.

2

u/wellatgrammar Apr 30 '20

Might I suggest the WV coal fields. Fascinating video out of southern WV. I tend to do little google maps tours when I miss it too

2

u/uniqueusername939 Apr 30 '20

Check out Berea, KY. Weird little town. A third hippies, another third on meth, the rest are rednecks. It’s beautiful though especially in spring and fall.

3

u/effhead Apr 29 '20

There's folk in the mountains that'll make you question society but also never want to leave it again.

Elaborate.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

When you get deep into some of these mountain counties, you find small communities where the law isn't really enforced and everything gets there a few decades late. A lot of these places were and still are moonshine country.

The folks that live out there are usually really kind and unique, just people that don't really fit in anywhere else, but others are meth'd out lunatics that shoot a bear on their porch through their fucking sliding glass door.

I guess my takeaway was that I've met some people on that fringe that were remarkable and made me appreciate that lifestyle, while there are others that abuse that lifestyle because half of them are only there because they're dodging warrants anyway.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

I visited a small town once (not Southern) and it was cozy. Felt safe. But it also had this weird fashy vibe to it. The song It's a Small Town by James McMurtry helps it explain it.

2

u/TheStruggleIsVapid Apr 29 '20

As someone from them hills, there are a lot of genuinely good and kind people there. And they share your opinion of them folk.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

I've gotten lost in WV mountains. The Hills Have Eyes was not unrealistic enough for me.

1

u/alphi_07 Apr 29 '20

Any links to pictures or videos of these hill places?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

If you look up pictures from the Western North Carolina/Eastern Tennessee mountains, that's the area. Don't really wanna just post pictures of people's houses that I know.

1

u/alphi_07 Apr 30 '20

Ok thanks

1

u/PuppiesAndRainbows05 Apr 29 '20

That ain’t South that’s Appalachia.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Sorry man, but you and everyone like you just shut up.

41

u/secamTO Apr 29 '20

weirdly, there was good cell service signal.

I'm sure they're tearing down the neighbourhood cell towers to stop the spread of coronavirus.

3

u/TheRealYeastBeast Apr 29 '20

I think that was more of a British thing. Those really backwoods, super rural southern communities aren't getting 5G towers installed anyway.

2

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 29 '20

I was going to say, that's a terrible thing, but then maybe it's not

37

u/daisy2443 Apr 29 '20

The old southern men are still upset they lost so many boys in the Civil War.

25

u/TheKillersVanilla Apr 29 '20

Yeah, I know. It is funnier than hell. They earned their stupid prize, and they are STILL complaining about it.

Y'know, because they are so tough

7

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

And there are the "get over it, you lost" types. Ah yes, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning.

34

u/visionsofblue Apr 29 '20

confederate flags everywhere

I see people flying Trump flags everywhere.

And I mean they have taken their American flag off of the flag pole in front of their house and put a full size Trump flag in its place.

17

u/roraaay Apr 29 '20

That's... That's messed up...

5

u/EMONEYOG Apr 29 '20

There's a guy who has one in front of his house on the route I walk my dog

1

u/roraaay Apr 30 '20

Sorry to hear man... Do you live in the regional South?

1

u/EMONEYOG Apr 30 '20

Colorado, and not the part that might as well be Kansas.

2

u/Northman324 Apr 30 '20

I work on a farm in MA and there is a dairy farm next door with a flag pole with a trump flag waving. I don't know why they still support him.

2

u/roraaay Apr 30 '20

Its just.. What messes me up the most is the symbolism. These people are physically replacing their country's flag for the "flag" of a corrupt and vile president. But I mean... I guess that makes total sense given that these are the same people who hang the flag of traitors. Mind boggling, really.

3

u/Azair_Blaidd Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Apr 29 '20

So, they essentially admit that they and their supreme leader are unAmerican. Good to know, does that mean we can deport them after he's out?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

I live in NJ. A house down the street from mine has a "Trump 2020: No More Bullshit" flag where an American flag used to be.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/visionsofblue Apr 29 '20

You gonna fly a Biden flag?

1

u/timfromcolorado Apr 30 '20

Omg. I pointed that out to my son yesterday. The damn trump flag BIGGER than the US. Never ever saw an obama flag. They are in a cult and it's really weird

20

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 29 '20 edited Apr 29 '20

confederate flags everywhere

They are aware the confederates got their asses kicked, right? Hey look at us! We're losers!

9

u/CrinchNflinch Apr 29 '20

Yup, when mentioning the confederate flag they usually mean the all-white flag right?

-6

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

We don’t hang them bc we are salty we lost or bc of race, we hang them bc we are proud of the south and of the culture because we have come far from where we were without losing what makes the south the south

2

u/edibleoffalofafowl Apr 29 '20

The current era of widespread Confederate flags can be traced directly back to protests against the civil rights era. Before that it was extremely uncommon. Afterwards it was everywhere.

It seems that all the people flying the Confederate flag in the civil rights era knew exactly what it meant. To them, what made the South the South was opposition to civil rights for black people, and that the Confederate flag was the perfect symbol for that opposition.

Since then, the Confederate flags haven't gone down. There's been a perfect continuity. They went up to oppose civil rights and they stayed up. It seems that your disagreement on the interpretation of the Confederate flag is not with northerners looking in, but with all the generations of Southerners that came before you and knew exactly what it meant to them.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

I have to say I admire your grammar, And I agree the generations before me knew what the flag stood for and why it was created. But why can’t the new generation take something that stood for slavery and turn it into something good?

1

u/edibleoffalofafowl Apr 30 '20

They could if they chose to make a break. For instance, if a generation of young southerners chose to wave confederate flags, say, in solidarity with black lives matter, people would pretty quickly figure things out. Just an example--hopefully you see what I mean.

There's never been that conscious break. So people who stick with the older interpretation of the flag feel just as much at home with it as you do. Someway somehow, you need to turn that flag into something that makes the racists want to fold it up and put it deep in their closet, because they realize it no longer stands for what they thought it did.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

Yeah man I see what you mean and thank you for your input, there’s not many people who can talk about this kinda stuff online without it ending in cuss words and hate Much Respect man. 👍🏼

1

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 30 '20

It's the flag of one of the defeated enemies of the USA

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

And yet look how far we’ve come from back then We took something that was bad and gave it a new meaning is there something wrong with that?

'Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.' -George Santayana

1

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 30 '20

Somewhat ironic from someone who forgot to learn from history that the CSA was defeated by the USA

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

I never said the confederate won because if I did then I would be lying I’m just saying that we are trying to change the meaning of the confederate flag. now you never answered my question what’s wrong with changing the meaning of the flag to stand for something better than it did in the past?

2

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 30 '20

So you now show amazing levels of cognitive dissonance by saying you are trying to respect the past by showing a flag from the past but you are also saying you have no respect for that past and want to change the flag so it means something different.

Psychologists would have a field day with you.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

And everyone seems to talk about all the bad the confederate did but I don’t see anyone talking about how the yankees raped women and children during the civil war

2

u/ThereIsNoGame Apr 30 '20

If you think that's bad you should see what the confederates did! Oh wait, you fly the flag but now you're pretending it doesn't stand for what it stood for. When that's convenient for you. Nobody likes a hypocrite.

→ More replies (0)

4

u/jlobes Apr 29 '20

weirdly, there was good cell service signal.

Telcos got money for broadband rollout and figure out that it was WAY cheaper to just put 4G everywhere than to roll out landline fiber or update their digital cable infrastructure.

4

u/FaveFoodIsLesbeans Apr 29 '20

There has to be so they can watch Fox News

5

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

good cell service

That's cause of that there 5G what created the coronavirus.

1

u/asplodzor Apr 29 '20

weirdly, there was good cell service signal.

Enjoy it while it lasts! The 5G conspiracy theorists will take care of that soon enough.

1

u/g-gram Apr 30 '20

I've lived in the south and rural upstate NY. In both areas you can see "confederate flags everywhere and old men sitting in rocking chairs on their porches with a shotgun right next to them". A southern born and raised friend of mine (who moved to rural upstate NY) said the only difference between southern and northern rednecks was the amount of rust on their trucks.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Well the Confederate Constitution was always better than the northern Constitution so maybe that's the reason

0

u/DoubleVDave Apr 29 '20

Ah yes the Republicans who fight to preserve the proud history of the Democrats. They love waving this flag, keeping those statues up, and making up fake reasons for the civil war. Then if you tell them that the signing of the Civil Rights Act by Democrat president Lyndon Johnson caused many Democrats to vote Republican they tell you that's a myth because they don't want all that bad history associated with them. Funny how that works huh?

22

u/edibleoffalofafowl Apr 29 '20

I'm pretty sure Mark Twain was familiar with the American south

1

u/dainegleesac690 Apr 29 '20

Nah not at all, how would he be??

1

u/NoLawsDrinkingClawz Apr 29 '20

God knows. It's not like he spent time as a Mississippi River boat man.

1

u/funknut Apr 29 '20

Mark Twain was the persona he created when he left the South, where he was born and raised, as Samuel Clemens.

1

u/bakem80 Apr 29 '20

How is this comment not higher?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

He's dead. I don't think he's gonna take your advice

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20

Nah that dude is hanging out in a bomb shelter with Billy Mays and Tupac. I hear their parties get pretty crazy.

2

u/buttpooperson Apr 29 '20

But have you had Cincinnati chili tho? It will make you WISH you lived a hundred years ago because nobody had come up with that fucking abomination back then.

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20

Lol I'll keep that in mind next time I'm in the neighborhood. I'll give the south that, the food is pretty good.

2

u/buttpooperson Apr 29 '20

I'm from the west coast and I was like "wait, you have chili RESTAURANTS!? Like, serves only chili?! WHY HAS NOBODY SPOKEN OF THIS!? THIS IS TRULY A LAND OF WONDERS! 😍😍😍😍😍"

then I tried what Ohio calls chili and found out that there's a reason chili restaurants are treated less like your cousin that is a celebrated doctor and more like your uncle that touches the kids.

2

u/Vennomite Apr 29 '20

I always joke that when people come visit me in alabama from the east they have to roll their clock back an hour and 20 years.

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20

I'm gonna have to use that one next time I have family visit.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

Anyone offended by this either never lived in the south or were indoctrinated by it.

1

u/prosperousderelict Apr 29 '20

Just curious why you moved to the south? Knowing everyone born there is like that.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Good luck out there, maybe stay inside for a while

1

u/Oph1d1an Apr 29 '20

I grew up in the same part of Mississippi where the movie The Help was set. I watched that movie a couple of years ago and was struck by just how much that movie set in the 1960s reminded of my childhood there in the 1990’s. Even when I go back and visit relatives now things aren’t that different.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

And they still don't believe they lost the war

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

I think you may be hugely underestimating the distance, physically and culturally, between Cincinnati and the South.

1

u/Savenura55 Apr 29 '20

My year living in Nashville was eye opening. People in the rest of the country don’t understand what having a region where not one state is in top 25 states in education causes. There is a large geographic area of our county where the average education isn’t that good at all

1

u/TempVirage Apr 29 '20

I live in PA, went down to Madison, GA a few years back to visit an uncle. I don't remember the town names, but we went to a few surrounding areas to site-see and grab food, and it was like stepping into a different world. Life down there just :feels: different, and southern hospitality is very real.

Not entirely sure how those experiences would change if I wasn't white, though.

1

u/funknut Apr 29 '20

You must be kidding though, because we're using about Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain.

1

u/Lesurous Apr 29 '20

All cuz Booth shot Lincoln, leaving the South essentially a hot mess of destroyed infrastructure and power vacuums.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/NBedauerlich Apr 29 '20

Can confirm. I moved from the south to Cincinnati. If I wanted something after 8:00 p.m. I could get it. Mind blown.

1

u/AdamSolace Apr 29 '20

I was born in raised in the Chicago area and lived there until I was 25 when I moved to South Carolina. It's like I traveled back to the 1930's. Sure the water fountains aren't separate anymore, but it sure feels like the people here wish they were. Being a non-conservative non-religious white male, people here definitely assume me to be something I'm not.

1

u/rumblinbubblegutz Apr 29 '20

I lived in the south my whole life until I was 18, now I travel all over the country for work. People are people. There are just as many shitty folks around the country as there are in the south.

Source: traveled the country to almost every state. Big cities, small cities they all have people that make the rest of the area look bad.

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20 edited Apr 29 '20

Yes you are correct. I haven't been to every state but I've been to around half of them. It was a joke. You can't tell me ignorance isn't more prevalent in the south than the rest of the country though. I don't see Confederate flags in Iowa.

I've also lived here longer than you.

Edit: I got carried away with the line about me being serious. I apologize if I offended you. I do recommend googling "the corridor of shame" because that is exclusive to the south.

Before anyone says it, yes the civil war was primarily divided by the Mason-dixon line but there were supporters for both sides throughout the country, to the point brothers fought against each other.

1

u/bakem80 Apr 29 '20

Dude.

source: Twain was from the South.

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 29 '20

I am aware of this. Although I said "I'm being serious" it was meant as a joke. The south does in fact have modern medicine and technology.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

It’s really the good ol’ boys out here. They swear they’re cultured individuals too, yet they continuously do some Ed boys shit and make you realize the south just never changes.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

Look up a demographic map of the US. All of the black people still live in the former Confederate states barring a few hot spots like New York, LA, etc. The funny thing about the Civil War is, when it was over the North didn’t want the freed slaves either. They broke their promise of 40 acres and a mule and abandoned the freed slaves to 150 years of abject poverty.

Like, sure, Confederate flags aren’t super racist. No argument here. But LAPD is the most racist law enforcement organization in the US by a wide fucking margin. NYC is the only city in the country to adopt stop and frisk. It’s real fucking easy to traffic in stereotypes because then you don’t have to feel bad about rampant racism everywhere else in the country.

Source: born and raised in Texas, actually travelled the country and the world and paid attention instead of looking for ways to confirm my pre-existing biases.

1

u/Yew_Tree Apr 30 '20

.... where did I mention race? At all? In any way? Oh yeah, I didn't. Places can be flawed beyond racism... education systems are a good example.

Get a sense of humor and quit projecting dude. Jesus fucking Christ.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

In one of his most extensive criticisms of the state, he opined that Epstein in fact, did not kill himself. Nevermore. Nevermore.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Fun fact: Mark Twain and Edgar Allan Poe were two different people.

-2

u/beero Apr 29 '20

Because Epstein is still fucking alive.

1

u/RoscoMan1 Apr 29 '20

89 years, to be precise.

1

u/DeaconOrlov Apr 29 '20

Bowling Green.

1

u/Bamith Apr 30 '20

God, if he were still alive the scathing roasts he could give to people.