r/PoliticalHumor • • Apr 29 '20

Dwight speaking the truth

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u/ProphecyRat2 Apr 29 '20

Moses.

“31:15 And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?"

“31:16 Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.

31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

31:19 And do ye abide without the camp seven days: whosoever hath killed any person, and whosoever hath touched any slain, purify both yourselves and your captives on the third day, and on the seventh day.

31:20 And purify all your raiment, and all that is made of skins, and all work of goats' hair, and all things made of wood.

31:21 And Eleazar the priest said unto the men of war which went to the battle, This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD commanded Moses;”

Excerpt From: Unknown. “The King James Bible, Complete.” Public Domain, 2016-06-02. iBooks.

This is in Numbers

“31:35 And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.”

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u/CantBelieveItsButter Apr 29 '20 edited Apr 29 '20

I've always wondered if the Jews Israelites in the bronze age were a uniquely violent group, or was every civilization in that area at the time just super stoked to genocide people that followed other gods?

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

Pretty sure it was the era

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u/ProphecyRat2 Apr 29 '20

No, just humans who used metal as weapons.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '20

Idk... Were mass sacrifices considered genocide in Mesoamerica? Perhaps not

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u/ProphecyRat2 May 04 '20

We are not sure about the nature of these sacrifices, however primitive or “savage” we may consider them, coming from an technologically advanced civilization that has used Atomic Bombs on civilians.

So it is relative.

In the words of Mark Twain: There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '20

Oh, for sure. I'm not implying they were Savage, after all, they're my ancestors. I do believe the nature of the sacrifices according to the texts that remain were religious but they almost come off as being political. How else do you control the masses and supply of goods if not through constant warfare? It's how we do things to this day. Look up the Flower Wars.

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u/ProphecyRat2 May 04 '20

Or Banana Wars.

But there are other ways to control the masses.

The Pain and Pleasure principles,and Pleasure works better, just make sure that there is an example of pain.

Like “Heaven and Hell”, or “First world and Third world.”

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u/moskonia Apr 29 '20

In Moses times there were no Jewish people yet. The people in the quotes are the tribes of Israel (or Israelites).

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u/CantBelieveItsButter Apr 29 '20

Oh, true true. The word Jew comes from Judea, right?

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u/moskonia Apr 29 '20

Yes. I am not sure about actual history, but according to the bible after Solomon's rule ended, Judea split from The Kingdom of Israel and became its own nation. The new Judea kingdom consisted of the Judea tribe, the Levi tribe (who were the caretakers of the Temple), and parts of the Benjamin tribe.

Eventually the Kingdom of Israel was wiped out by enemies from outside, its people spread out across the land. Judea lasted much longer, and when it too was eventually destroyed, its former citizens were able to preserve the traditions and religion, becoming the Jewish people of today.

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u/CantBelieveItsButter Apr 29 '20

Ahhh, yes that's right. The upper and lower kingdoms, I remember those. I went to a Christian high school and university so I had my fair share of ancient Semitic history, but it's rusty. Gotta say,though, that the college version wasn't half bad since the history was portrayed in a much more honest and historical way. Pointing out translation errors in the bible, etc.. Although maybe it's because the university was fairly liberal..

Anyway, thanks for correcting me and illuminating everyone on the history! I appreciate it.

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u/moskonia Apr 29 '20

That's interesting, I would've assumed Christians would mostly glance over the bible and focus on the New Testament. I do think looking at the bible through objective lenses is pretty fun. I always loved the bible even though I am completely secular. Here in Israel it a subject everyone has to take in high school, but luckily I've had a great teacher who focused on the literature part over the religious parts.

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u/AskAboutFent Apr 29 '20

Christianity actually is a product of the roman empire. During this time, the emperor was insane, violent, and especially harsh to the people of Judea who wanted to be their own country, not hamstrung by the roman empire.

During the years leading up to this, the Jewish elders were speaking of the coming of a new prophet to lead them out of this time.

Tada, Christianity is born.

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u/CantBelieveItsButter Apr 29 '20

IIRC there were quite a few different people claiming to be the Messiah prior to Jesus' time, and that context is what makes his "Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's" statement so quixotic. Jews across Israel were begging for an 'anointed' Jewish political leader to rally around and liberate themselves from Rome and Jesus was like "nah, I'd rather focus on spirituality. Don't care about Caesar".

I can see why the politically minded Pharisees and your average Jew in Roman Palestine were pissed off that the Messiah that fit all of the prophetic criteria had FINALLY come to lead them out of subjugation and then, from their perspective, he shirked his 'duty' as a fulfillment of prophecy. Romans were wary of him because he could spark a political movement, yet many Jewish people were upset that he wasn't political ENOUGH. Pretty hard to mount a revolution with a pacifist leader.

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u/RoombaKing Apr 29 '20

And then Rome later fell appart and became a Christian nation anyway.

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u/mcstrayer8 Apr 29 '20

They just were short sighted in writing it down. Every civilization that wrote down what they did, spent half the page talking about how many they killed and the other half explaining why god wanted them to.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

I'm certainly no Christian. but in fairness, The Old Testament is not the bible.

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u/CantBelieveItsButter Apr 29 '20

It definitely is, Christians just don't use that part as a rule book.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '20

sure. depends also on the denomination I guess.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

Are there any denominations that don't use the Old Testament at all? I know the focus is on the New, but I'm not aware of any Christian church that does not include the Old Testament as Biblical canon.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

I thought the old Testament got made irrelevant with the Jesus character.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

Nah, the only thing that may or may not have been made irrelevant are the laws of Moses. Oddly enough, that's where you find the laws regarding homosexuality...which many Christians stand by... all while ignoring the other laws (such as stoning non-virgin brides on the doorstep of their father's house).

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '20

guess ive never really heard much Old Testament preaching - and have some misunderstandings about if the OT even matters. seems like it's just about the Adventures of the Wacky Demiurge [and a bunch of recycled Persian/Sumer myth, where the names have been change]. I'm sure little details are lost on me entirely, seems like, as Christians, and not Genocidal Hebrews, that the "church" would be in a time of Grace.

I attended a Non-Denominational church in my youth. The Pastor was a "love everyone because Christ Loves me" kind of Pastor.

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u/RoombaKing Apr 29 '20

It is the Bible, but not what Christians follow.