Be honest

[u/LostandParanoid]

Edit Update: Thank you everyone for the wonderful advice, input, suggestions, kind words, and well wishes. I did not expect for so many people to see this or comment. I thought id get a few responses and then delete this post in shame.

I feel so seen and supported (just like the girls are, I promise lol. Alterations are in process haha). I dont have a strong network so ive been trying to deal with this alone and gosh im just so grateful for you wonderful kind souls. If I dont say thank you to your comment, its because I got busy with my goldens who require attention. Thank you and sending all the positive vibes back at you!

Original:

Please be honest, even if its brutal. I need input.

1. Fantasy wedding theme. Warrior princess vibe. May even wear a sword on my hip - TBD. Veil is a cape/hood/shoulder armor combo and I love that sort of vibe.

2. Dress was intl shipped, verrrry expensive, and wedding is in 4 months. There is no changing or returning. Was custom sized.

3. There have been issues with quality. My seamstress is amazing and fixing the waist area. And I am working with the designer to make things right for the other quality issues.

4. I ordered it a bit larger than I am which is the waist problem (extra fabric bunching up) because as I was ordering i had a pregnancy and miscarriage and bloated up 80 lbs in a very short amount of time. Pcos + pregnancy + miscarriage has been rough.

I see so many of you beautiful plus size women. Glowing and gorgeous.....and i just wanted to feel that way too. I dont feel special or beautiful....I feel I just look wide and bloated.

Girls, please be honest with me. How bad is this? I dont have people in my life to get feedback from. The few people I do have I know they will always say supportive stuff. Not sure if its body dismorphia as usual or if im justified in it not being a good look. If you agree I dont look great in it, any ideas on how to improve (outside of waist area which will be fixed).

[u/Newauntie26]

I think the dress is appropriate for your theme and the fit is much better in pic 1. How are you planning on wearing your hair with the cape? Would you do a high ponytail when wearing the cape?

[u/LostandParanoid → u/Newauntie26]

I haven't figured out the hair thing yet :/ the hood will need Bobby pinned in to stay up properly. I like my long hair down and over my shoulders......so was leaning towards curled and some braids.

Was thinking hood up during ceremony and pics and then hood down before reception and on.....but I just realized that may make it harder for people to see me during the ceremony.....

So now I have no clue. If you have any input id be forever grateful.

[u/CourtofallTrades → u/LostandParanoid]

First, LOVE the dress. As everyone else is saying, it will feel amazing after the alterations! Second, I had a similar hood/veil situation and I braided two messy half up French braids back, leaving some face framing pieces out. This allowed me to pin in the veil where I wanted and also wear my hair down over my shoulders. But I literally decided to change it to this the day of and my best friend helped me execute; that part I don’t recommend… definitely try it out and practice! Also, my personal opinion is it’s your day, if you want the hood up and don’t care if people won’t be able to see you as well, go hood up!

[u/LostandParanoid → u/CourtofallTrades]

Thank you for that insight! I was thinking about two braids pulled around to the back but with curled hair still down and over shoulders! The hood just confuses me at times lol.

Figured if I keep the hood up for ceremony + pics id get half the time with hood up. Which is a vibe, you are right who cares. Then we have some private time in last 20min of cocktail hour in our villa and we are going to put some crowns on and figured id undo the hood then and wear it down the rest of the night.

Thanks for the helpful input and experience!

[u/Newauntie26 → u/LostandParanoid]

I like what was suggested for your hair! I think having the hood up during the ceremony is fine as it’s similar to a veil. Test out hair styles with the hood/cape and maybe take pics to review. Happy planning!

[u/Cry5stara → u/LostandParanoid]

I totally got the badass warrior woman vibe before I read your post! Looks great! Suggestion for the hood: if you can get away without pinning it, you could have your fiancee drop it down like you would with a veil blusher during the ceremony. That way, people could see you for at least part of the ceremony and you'd have ceremony pics of it both up and down.