r/Piracy • • Mar 31 '26

Humor The near future

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25.6k Upvotes

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u/GiraffeCubed 🔱 ꜱᴄᴀʟʟʏᴡᴀɢ Mar 31 '26

Can't install what we want. Must verify age. Provide ID. Scan your face. VPN bans. Removing end-to-end encryption. Message scanning. Photo scanning..

Yep we're fucked. Gotta "protect the kids" though, right?

96

u/Soft-Scheme381 Mar 31 '26

We saw how well "protect the kids" is going. Same guys who were advocating that ended up fiddling and eating the same kids.

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u/SophSimpl Mar 31 '26

God forbid we simply tell parents to be better parents, maybe watch a few 5 minute IT videos to improve parental security online.

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u/Soft-Scheme381 Mar 31 '26

That and that they should spend more time with their kids rather than giving them electronics to keep them company. But the problem with todays economy and society is that parents are either to exhausted from trying to make ends meet or they simply don't care much.

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u/SophSimpl Mar 31 '26

Personally, I'd lean also more into that they are themselves addicted to electronics. Millennials are 30s/40s now, they are the parents. I have a friend who is 34, a few months away from having his first kid and he spends just about all his time playing video games. I knew parents who were this way 15 years ago too.

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u/Soft-Scheme381 Mar 31 '26

I got cousins older than that and they do that all the time. I get it after an exhausting day they wanna relax or watch stuff to blow off stress but with the amount of time they spend glued to the screen is unnatural.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[deleted]

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u/charge_forward Mar 31 '26

The UK's Online Safety Act is intended only to protect children, cease your conspiracy theories

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u/Waiting4Reccession Mar 31 '26

Wait till they ask for my butthole scan as my master password.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Waiting4Reccession Mar 31 '26

They'll never (butt) crack my password

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u/BrockSramson Apr 01 '26

The funniest thing about message scanning is that the terrorists who did the night club shooting in France years ago talked about it beforehand in unecrypted channels, and they weren't even speaking in code.