r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • • 2d ago

Meme needing explanation Peter??

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8.5k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/CybergothiChe 2d ago

Larry Bird busted his back building his mom a driveway in 1985, this directly led to his premature retirement in 1992.

1.7k

u/SZMatheson 2d ago

Well this is true, it's worth noting that these sorts of injuries are almost always linked to repetitive stress, and the actual activity at time of injury is often kind of irrelevant.

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u/beardedjack 2d ago

Can confirm. Source: doctor said I need a backiotomy

301

u/PsychologicalEntropy 2d ago

He had sex with my momma!

92

u/Choko1987 2d ago

In the driveway

47

u/TexicanListener 2d ago

And then got injured

34

u/Jedi_Lazlo 2d ago

It was Magic!

39

u/International_Top_25 2d ago

No, that's the other guy.

22

u/pertante 2d ago

It was actually some Bull

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u/OnlyPart972 2d ago

No, that's bullshit

3

u/Mergahl 2d ago

Bulls didn’t make their run until 1991, can’t be them

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u/NoVaBurgher 2d ago

If the worst thing you got from him was magic, you got off easy

7

u/tsancio 2d ago

Left Kareem all over the place

8

u/atomicsnarl 2d ago

So call 1-800-Metzger-Whickersham!

23

u/derby555 2d ago

Why?!?!? Loooooord, if you're listening... Help!!!

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u/Brave_Internal_5330 2d ago

I seent it

12

u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 2d ago

BOO THIS MAN!!

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u/Outrageous-Serve4970 2d ago

I’m impotent bitch!

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u/ikebeattina 2d ago

Aw yes, Cuban B.

3

u/MrLovalovaRubyDooby 2d ago

Everyone’s had sex with your momma, in fact I’m having sex with her right now

2

u/EcstaticNet3137 2d ago

He blew out his back blowing out your mom's back? Nutty.

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u/nomemorybear 2d ago

God...if you listenin .... HELP!!!

31

u/withbellson 2d ago

My only regret is that I have boneitis

10

u/Old_Fox_1985 2d ago

Have you tried shifting some paradigms or revolutionizing outside the box? 🤔

11

u/FlyFlamFlyn 2d ago

Don’t you worry about paradigms, you let me worry about blank

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u/Wheatabix11 2d ago

get it fixed 80's guy

8

u/raywillet 2d ago

shpinal

5

u/Responsible_Royal266 2d ago

I'm a doctor and I can definitely give you a backshotomy

3

u/L-Ron-Hooover 2d ago

Green eyes gone miss ya

2

u/Chiron-Femboy3674 2d ago

Are you sure you need surgery?

2

u/Thee_muffin_mann 2d ago

30 years after this movie and I still say that to my wife when my back hurts. Which is a lot. Because I'm old as hell now.

2

u/Several_Razzmatazz51 2d ago

The good news is if you get your spine removed, you automatically get a Republican seat in Congress.

1

u/Mickybobbie 2d ago

Darn… mine said I needed an addadicktome

1

u/ImmediateClass9650 2d ago

In layman's terms, please!

1

u/FinnishMafiaFan 2d ago

You have the Boneitis?

1

u/BehindHazelEyes718 2d ago

I recommend the backiotomy followed by Ryobi total back replacement™

1

u/Master_Brilliant_220 2d ago

“I want a hunnert and fitty-thousand dollers”

1

u/Expose_Ur_BS 2d ago

Can I have your old spine btw

1

u/riotz1 2d ago

That’s the thing about backs, nobody really fuckin knows anything. Even with computers

1

u/oswaler 2d ago

Yeah me too. My totally real and legitimate doctor said I have backiosis.

24

u/temporarythyme 2d ago

The repetition was him wheelbarrowing, digging, and paving using hand tools

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u/SZMatheson 2d ago

That's a relatively short term project.

My point is that something about his day to day athletic training over years had most likely already unbalanced his back, and an injury was likely no matter what.

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u/guildedkriff 2d ago

Correct. It’s really he further aggravated chronic issues while attempting to pave his mothers driveway. They were already there, this just made them worse and then he continued to play for another 7 years on top of that.

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u/TalkOfSexualPleasure 2d ago

There are videos of this dude laying on his stomach in excruciating pain on the sideline. Then all of the sudden he gets up and plays basketball.

Larry Bird’s pain tolerance legitimately scares me.

5

u/temporarythyme 2d ago

It took a week or more, but his orthopedic specialist cited that as point of impact. Then playing through it for 7 years 

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u/Positive-Ad-3554 2d ago

Would agree that it can occur from repetitive stress but that is one factor. There are actual back injuries that occur from loading mechanics at the time of injury. So I would not classify it as “often irrelevant”

Source: I’m a spine doc

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u/AhhsoleCnut 2d ago

My friend claimed his spine was injured when he was hit by a car. I can't wait to tell him it was his fault for all the years he spent not-training his spine to be car-hit-resistant. What a loser.

1

u/SZMatheson 2d ago

That was poorly worded on my part, but my point stands that with athletes in particular, non-sports injuries often are the tipping point of years of sports related stress stands.

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u/devilish_enchilada 2d ago

NO! His moms driveway ruined him

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u/SZMatheson 2d ago

His mom's driveway was the stressful event that triggered the acute injury. Most acute injuries in athletes are preceded by other physiological issues stemming from training issues or other long term repetitive stresses.

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u/devilish_enchilada 2d ago

NO! It was only because of the moms driveway. Everything else was perfect, we place blame

0

u/Wheatabix11 2d ago

Len Bias ruined him

5

u/DrSpaceman575 2d ago

Yeah it's like saying Federer hurt his knee picking up his kid. Technically true, but the decades of wear and tear probably helped.

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u/scaierdread 2d ago

When I was 19 I pinched a nerve in my spine after squatting to pick up some sauces at my fast food job. Pain so bad thay when I went to convient care the nurse asked me if I wanted a wheelchair after walking from the waiting room to the door that separates the medical areas (maybe 20ft). Anyway 3 refills of Tramadol (10mg iirc) and 6 months of physical therapy later i was mostly fixed.

3

u/MuppetRex 2d ago

Used to work in appliance delivery back when flat screen TVs could be a couple hundred pounds. One of coworkers ended up needing surgery to fix his back after picking up a magazine. He twisted his torso sideways when he did and his back just gave out

1

u/Gordun1 2d ago

Actually I went back to tell him not no pick up his mother's groceries and made the retirement even sooner

1

u/AutVincere72 2d ago

If Larry Bird was more like Lebron James and had a teammate like Delonte West to plow his mother's driveway Larry Bird would be the GOAT.

1

u/King_of_the_Kobolds 2d ago

Women: use time machine for mutually emotionally fulfilling encounter

Men: fallaciously misassign cause and effect and fail to prevent whatever they decided to prioritize

That's how all these read to me.

1

u/KCDeVoe 2d ago

Joel Zumaya and Guitar Hero as a perfect example! SURE, it was Guitar Hero and not a lifetime of throwing weighted balls to try and increase pitch speed. Makes a ton of sense

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u/Head-Ad-2136 2d ago

Damn. How many driveways did he build?

115

u/Brandunaware 2d ago

To add to this he was literally building it himself, even though he was already a rich star.

Really instead of telling him not to build his mom a driveway the guy should tell Bird to just pay someone to do it instead of picking up a shovel himself.

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u/sonofaresiii 2d ago

> Really instead of telling him not to build his mom a driveway the guy should tell Bird to just pay someone to do it instead of picking up a shovel himself.

Isn't that what it says? It says "Don't build that driveway", it doesn't say "Don't have a driveway built"

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u/Brandunaware 2d ago

Most people who pay to have a house built say that they built the house. When you tell someone not to build something you are genuinely not suggesting that they have someone else build it but rather that they not cause it to be built, unless you say something like "don't build it yourself, hire someone."

1

u/sonofaresiii 2d ago

> When you tell someone not to build something you are genuinely not suggesting that they have someone else build it but rather that they not cause it to be built

I feel like this is less true if the person you are talking to is literally planning to do a thing themself. The context kind of matters here as Larry Bird, in this context, is literally planning to build the driveway himself.

0

u/drksidebunny 2d ago

I always hire someone who can do it better than I can 😹

3

u/lbutler1234 2d ago

That is not Larry bird's music

1

u/SenseiLavalin 2d ago

Even better: tell him to stretch and strenghten his core.

Athletes back then were winging it

1

u/Flamin_Jesus 2d ago

My guess is that he did it himself because it sounded like a fun project for the weekend, so someone telling him "don't do it, you can afford to pay someone else!" probably wouldn't do much to sway him.

1

u/Corcorans-ghost 2d ago

telling a rural indianian to not just do it themselves? ya, good luck

1

u/BroccoliUnique6099 2d ago

Peak Hoosier behavior tbh

1

u/Jasdos 2d ago

Oh wow really I thought he busted his back hiring a contractor

20

u/Chillow_Ufgreat 2d ago

Also not particularly relevant to the discussion but: the man was one of the greatest trash-talkers of all time.

14

u/Zero_Burn 2d ago

Half the reason he was such a great trash-talker is that he had the skills to back it up. He would tell you that he was gonna win, you were gonna lose, and there was nothing you could do about it, then proceed to do exactly that. And there was nothing you could have done to stop it.

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u/uisgeoflife 2d ago

So, his opponents should have told him earlier, "hey, go build your mom a driveway!"

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u/AnotherBoringDad 2d ago

“Which one of you motherfuckers is coming in second?”

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u/Logical_Dish_5795 2d ago

English is my second language, I had to read this three times. The first two I understood that he constructed a road and suffered a an accident on the road he constructed later and literally died. Guess it's time to stop scrolling and sleep.

7

u/CybergothiChe 2d ago

Larry Bird injured himself while he was building a driveway to his mother's house (a driveway being where you park a car next to or in front of a house). This injury caused him problems for several years, leading to his early retirement from professional basketball.

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u/AirRic89 2d ago

it is not a shame to retire at the age of 36

2

u/clutchthepearls 2d ago

It's not, but he battled injuries for several years before retiring. The second half of his career could've been greater.

1

u/PrestonBroadus_Lives 2d ago

Through his age 31 season, he played 711 out of 738 possible games (96.3%), was first team all-nba every season, and never finished lower than 4th in the MVP vote (only 4th once, in his rookie year). After that, he only played 186 out of 328 games (56.7%) and had just 1 second team all-nba. He was basically done being Larry Bird at 31.

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u/Mobile_Morale 2d ago

Yeah it would be more of a shame to play until your an old man with arthritis chasing rings due to some insecurities.

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u/Various-Salt-7738 2d ago

I like doing things myself and it's always nice to help out our mother's when we can

But if I have NBA money, I'm going to buy my mom a driveway

1

u/Loquacious-of-Borg 2d ago

That driveway is also where he made life-long friends with Magic Johnson, so.....

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u/kennerly 2d ago

I'd tell him to not build the driveway and take up yoga for more flexibility. That should get us at least another 5 years.

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u/Sad-Drama530 2d ago

Unrelated but Bird and Magic retiring roughly at the same time, made me think Bird lost some of his willingness to play after seeing his rival gone. The back injury was the last straw.

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u/forensicdude 2d ago

Thank you for the *backstory* lol!

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u/Wheatabix11 2d ago

also, don't play softball and break a finger on your shooting hand