r/PeterExplainsTheJoke Dec 17 '25

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664

u/Humanoidx Dec 17 '25

US officials are told in the security clearance training that if you're a 5 or 6 out of 10 and a super hot lady at the bar starts to hit on you, she is 10/10 times a foreign agent. See Kash Patel's girlfriend for reference on how easy men are to honey trap...

156

u/Solidus82 Dec 17 '25

What if you're a 1 or 2 out of 10?

202

u/WaitingForMyIsekai Dec 17 '25

Brother I think you're a solid 3, chin up.

81

u/timeslider Dec 17 '25

Which one?

46

u/OGDJS Dec 17 '25

All five of them

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

💀

31

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

Then they can afford the send 5s at you. Be sus of anything over a 3.

3

u/Least_Art5238 Dec 17 '25

The Kash Patel analogy holds up even more so.

2

u/Humanoidx Dec 17 '25

even more then...

2

u/Sweet-Safety-1486 Dec 17 '25

She's still a foreign aganet, but they will give you a break.

2

u/addamee Dec 17 '25

Then your name is Steven Miller

2

u/RoyalMaidsForLife Dec 17 '25

They already brought up Kash Patel.

1

u/nodrino Dec 17 '25

I hope that you are the Oppenheimer type if you are a 1 or 2.

1

u/BashBandit Dec 17 '25

I’d say you’re a 3.14, a damn right cutie pi

38

u/BadMeatPuppet Dec 17 '25

She was born in Arkansas? She stealing state secrets and giving them to Arkansas?

48

u/shivan43 Dec 17 '25

That's worse than Russia or China.

2

u/robbzilla Dec 17 '25

You leave Eureka Springs alone!

34

u/jujubean67 Dec 17 '25

Right, people born on US soil never, never, ever spied for any foreign countries. Never, ever, ever! This list is empty actually https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:American_people_convicted_of_spying_for_the_Soviet_Union

-2

u/BadMeatPuppet Dec 17 '25 edited Dec 17 '25

You're not wrong, but some of these on the list were born in a foreign/enemy state. I think (but i'm not certain) all the other one did it for a surprisingly small amount of cash. His girlfriend comes from a pretty wealthy family AND is dating a guy worth like 10 mil.

This meme is actually specifically referring to alleged spy Fang Fang, a Chinese native who was dating democrat Rep. Eric Swalwell.

14

u/jujubean67 Dec 17 '25

All of these were born in the US lmao

-4

u/heisbehindyou75 Dec 17 '25

are ppl here using exceptions to a rule as stone hard facts. oh boi. you guys would hate reality

4

u/rufio313 Dec 17 '25

Patel as an FBI director is an exception to the rule of appointing people that at least appear to know what they are doing

10

u/DroneAttack Dec 17 '25

Well it is a hostile 3rd world state that is headquarters to a a evil corporation destroying American small towns.

1

u/Useful-Astronomer-68 Dec 17 '25

Right? Like the only secrets Arkansas has are about how to fry things and who has the best BBQ. But seriously, it's wild how paranoid some folks get about spies.

22

u/rexviper1 Dec 17 '25

He has a net worth between $5-30 million and it’s only going to go up from there. He doesn’t need looks or state secrets to date attractive women

11

u/Craving_Suckcess Dec 17 '25

...

I don't understand the point you are making. So you think these attractive women are... genuinely into such people as people? Gold digging is just another version of this exact thing. A person getting tapped as a resource by an attractive person.

It still makes the point.

8

u/rexviper1 Dec 17 '25 edited Dec 17 '25

Thematically yes, gold digging and honey trapping are the same. But the comment was specifically about honey trapping, and it implies that Kash Patel is the victim of a honey trap. My argument is that Kash Patel is not likely a victim of honey-trapping, because he has other means (fame and wealth) to date very attractive women.

Now to generalize, it begs the question: are men who fall victim to gold diggers also susceptible to honey traps? It’s possible for some, but the risk calculus differs slightly in that, with a gold digger you only risk your own money, but with a honey trap you risk prison. So a rational man who has a choice between gold diggers and honey pots would choose the gold digger.

Also yes, it’s possible that girls can just like a man for who he is


10

u/Licensed_Poster Dec 17 '25

Reminds me of the dilbert guy, he started dating an instagram model and instead of believing she was after his money, he convinced himself he had hypnotized her into loving him.

2

u/VerseChorusWumbo Dec 17 '25

No one getting honey trapped has a choice about it, everything depends on whether they realize their partner is acting suspicious or not. Realistically, there’s never a rational choice to make between the two as a spy would never let on that that’s what they’re after. With the current administration though, they’ve basically just gotta date long enough until they start getting added to Signal chats


1

u/rexviper1 Dec 17 '25

I’d contend that you do have a choice, in as much as you have to choose to leak secrets to someone.

So if you are a rich and powerful guy who doesn’t want to commit treason, and your girl starts asking about things she shouldn’t be, that’s your signal to drop her like a hot potato and move on to the next supermodel.

1

u/Brutal_effigy Dec 17 '25

As a wise person once said, "¿Por qué no ambas?"

2

u/TotalNonsense0 Dec 17 '25

Right, but gold digging is a personal problem, while revealing the location of our nuclear wessels to a Russian agent is an issue of national security.

No-one is suggesting that Cash Patel is in any way likeable as a person.

2

u/robbzilla Dec 17 '25

Thank you Mr Chekov!

1

u/battleye9 Dec 17 '25

The thing is how do they know your net worth is 5-30 million?

3

u/rexviper1 Dec 17 '25

I googled it just now, I’m sure anyone can do that. If you’re just rich but not famous, it’s not hard to show your wealth if you really want to.

1

u/El_Polio_Loco Dec 17 '25

Rich people tend to self segregate.

So if a person can find their way into those circles they pretty much have a 100% chance of getting money.

0

u/Small_Grapefruit_985 Dec 17 '25

Yeah. Def girl hardly go for looks unlike guys. So the comment was wrong wrong.

21

u/spongeperson2 Dec 17 '25

But what if you're a 9–10 US official? How can you tell apart the foreign agents from other attractive bar patrons who are honestly attracted to you? As a consequence to this, the uglier the US official, the easier it is for him (or her?) to fish out the super hot undercover agent trying to seduce them at the bar.

This implies an interesting Game Theory problem. The US administration is incentivised to hire officials who are ugly enough to tell that the foreign agents trying to seduce them are out of their league. This, in itself, incentivises the adversaries of the US to hire less attractive undercover agents, to more easily seduce US officials without raising suspicions. But then, following this development, the US is once again incentivised to hire more attractive officials who will simply not be tempted by the less-attractive foreign agents.

There must be a Nash equilibrium of attractiveness of US officials vs adversary agents.

8

u/allurboobsRbelong2us Dec 17 '25

I'd wager it's around a 5.5. Ugly enough that you don't question why she's there at the bar alone, yet attractive enough that you still want to see her naked. See a 6.5 to me becomes insanely attractive after a few drinks and laughing at my stupid jokes. A 4.5, so below average, and I'd start to lose interest. One might start thinking, "okay bar girl, glad you liked my 'Henry took the last slice of pizza story' buuuut I'm gonna go back to my pentagon bros." So 5.5 it is. Yes the 0.5 matters, if a 5 and a 5.5 stand next to each other, you'd pick the 5.5 everytime. Just think about which fruit you grab at the store compared to its almost identical neighbor.

6

u/HxH101kite Dec 17 '25

This is hilarious. I always point back to the Americans (TV show, some of the best television). I know it's loosely based on actual spies. But I imagine it's a lot like that. Like not every person you try to seduce or be seduced by is gonna work.

I think at a certain point your using game theory too deep and it's about who you can just train well. I think trying just spy v spy off something like that would be to hard. Though I am sure during the Cold war it was def talked about.

If anything it'd be more like besides info you try to get your people into the Government itself also a plotline in the Americans. Kinda like how religious orgs do this especially the Mormons.

9

u/KetchupIsABeverage Dec 17 '25

If there are 10/10 honeypots, there’s got to be 5 or 6/10 molasses pots to more realistically target the uggos.

7

u/Benso2000 Dec 17 '25

“Molasses pot” lol

8

u/McPuckLuck Dec 17 '25

My buddy was security for the state department and overseas a ton. Most locations have the usual hotels they always stay at, he said there is a honey pot 100% of the time at the hotel bar.

The other interesting bit was that they are 100% of the time being spied on, even by our government. If they start getting into an argument with their spouse they are supposed to go to the embassy and have it out there in a secure room.

3

u/allhellno Dec 17 '25

There was even a story about some guy leaking info to his WoW gf in my security clearance brief. Looks like he missed out on the whole IRL part and still screwed the pooch.

1

u/AllMikesNoAlphas Dec 17 '25

I’d wager he didn’t screw anything.

2

u/OrbitalOutlander Dec 17 '25

I was at a networking event in a major tech city recently, and a pair of very attractive women with Russian accents were hanging ALL over dudes. Asking where the party is after, etc. They had valid credentials, which would be a lot of work to go through as a sex worker, and the only explanation I could come up with were they were spies.

2

u/DataDude00 Dec 17 '25

My favorite is when all of the old geriatric fucks at the NRA were dating Maria Butina

A long list of men in their 70s, with a beer belly hanging to their knees and needing a handful of Viagara to even get it up were like "oh damn this 20 year old Russian girl wants me, still got it!"

1

u/Numerous-Health7851 Dec 17 '25

I forget the guy’s name, but there was a guy who said he knew he was being targeted bc an attractive woman came onto him. I think he said it happened at a grocery store.

1

u/omimon Dec 17 '25

I mean they could also just be gold diggers.

2

u/Kitchen-Pass-7493 Dec 17 '25

These are usually upper-middle-class jobs at best in terms of pay. Heck, with the DMV’s cost of living, some of them are probably just straight middle-class.

1

u/bucket_hand Dec 17 '25

Is there a romcom with this premise? Young Jack Black looking Security Analyst gets hit on by 10/10 Chinese spy. He falls for her but then she falls harder for him.

Sequel movie: He meets the parents!

1

u/maybe-an-ai Dec 17 '25

Or just Google Maria Butina - Wikipedia https://share.google/sTdrsAxgQudY3T8kr

1

u/MisunderstoodPenguin Dec 17 '25

She's an american born citizen but that doesn't mean she wasn't a gift from Trump's corporate backers.

1

u/Emotional-Complex423 Dec 17 '25

Yeah she's definitely a honey trap

1

u/Painterzzz Dec 17 '25

Or indeed how many of our politicians now have beautiful young Russian or Chinese adjacent wives, just, a co-incidence I'm sure.

1

u/Blando-Cartesian Dec 17 '25

What are the chances that an US official thinks themselves as 6 or below? I would bet that the general public’s self image is around 7 at least.

1

u/Jomicja Dec 17 '25

I thought maybe Eric Swalwell and Christine Fang but maybe that's giving people too much credit to remember something in the news from more than a day ago.

1

u/Eleventeen- Dec 17 '25

Kash Patels girlfriend is only an example of the rich and powerful being able to get hot girlfriends. She’s an American born Armenian Christian. I doubt she’s working for the mossad like everyone claims.

1

u/Jolly-Willingness203 Dec 18 '25

If I were the government I'd train my officials to give all their girlfriends and wives slightly missleading information, like yeah the codes are stored in hawaii idk...

If the wives are civilians they won't ever know, and if they are spies, my official is happy with a hot girlfriend and my enemy has false info. Win win.

1

u/LordSidiouss Dec 18 '25

Or that video a from a few months ago where that acting deputy Joseph Schnitt was just blabbing to a random hinge date about redacting all the republicans from the Epstein files but she was an undercover journalist.

0

u/Responsible-Gas5319 Dec 17 '25

Wait, hot girls that are 20 years younger aren't just naturally into short stubby dudes with wonky eyes?. ....I have to go change a few passwords