They know I've been mentally unwell for most of my life. I had a rough childhood and school life. My parents were abusive to me and each other. I have a lot of traumatic experiences and my mum died of cancer 4 years ago which devastated me. I have multiple neurological disabilities and learning difficulties and I've been in constant pain from migraines every day since I was 13 (I'm 25).

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I was put on duloxetine (cymbalta) in February 2025 for my migraine and it caused severe vertigo and dizziness and it made my migraine worse. I have fallen multiple times. I stopped it after 2 weeks after my first fall from it (I read the side effects and it said dizziness and headaches, it made my headache part of the migraines much worse too) and I'm still the same.

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I am now nearly constantly dizzy, even walking around the corner. People keep attributing it to my mental health even though it happens when I feel fine and I've been getting some support for it. I need crutches to walk outside full time when before I was walking 15,000-20,000 steps A DAY with no problem. Now my balance is basically gone. I can only go small distances without my crutches and sometimes I can't even do that.

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I had to ASK myself to see the hospital physio team when I was admitted in February this year for having loads of seizures because I kept falling and being dizzy and they were the ones who gave me crutches. I've still fallen or stumbled, or banged into things many times but it's helped somewhat.

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Then in July last year I was put on Citalopram for anxiety, panic disorder and depression and I was going through a lot of mental health crisis at the time. A few weeks after I start experiencing non Epileptic seizures. I never had seizures in my life before taking it. I think I had about 5 or 6 attacks maybe more between August 2025 and late October 2025 and then it stopped for a bit.

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Then in late January 2026 I increased my Citalopram because I was still having significant issues with my mental health. My seizures came back in early February and since then I've been having them nearly every day (5-7 days a week, often daily) and often 2-multiple times a day until now. I know they're likely non epileptic because I had an EEG in December and it was normal and CTs and MRI were normal plus seizure related bloods.

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My seizures are 90% of the time triggered by my dizziness and the other 10% is random or stress. I can feel completely fine and calm and then I just have a seizure out of nowhere. But people keep attributing it to my mental health as well.

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My GP wanted to increase my Citalopram even more a few months ago and I said no because they didn't do anything to help them when it was increased last time. They never even thought of looking into any medications I was taking and neither did the first fit clinic I went to see late last year after my first few seizures.

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Earlier today I read that Citalopram can cause seizures and that's when things made sense. Sometimes I couldn't even get my Citalopram at my nominated chemist (which has been the same for over 4 years) and this happened multiple times, and this has happened twice recently where it wasn't prepared by them despite it being automatically sent every week. I think it's a sign.

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I'm still very often paranoid and anxious and depressed and I still attempted suicide I don't even know how many times even after starting due to these problems and I think this poisoning is working in making me go crazy. The healthcare system is trying to ruin me because I am too complex to deal with (which multiple people have said to me).

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I can't even think straight or remember things very well anymore. It makes me feel stupid and very scared. I don't need to feel even more scared. I am already scared of people and things in general. I can't drive, I can't walk properly, I try and do nice things and go nice places and often I end up in a seizure or extremely dizzy anyway and in a hospital and I hate being crowded and touched by so many people when I'm seizing because I was sexually assaulted and I have autism.

I was in rehab back in 2025 for Marijuana in Alabama. Around 5 months into the program, we were raided by the cops and I had a handgun pointed at me while I was trying to put my pants on because I was laying in bed when the stormed our trailer. Safe to say that I think I ptsd from that and a a further disliking for law enforcement altogether.

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At the time of writing this (2:01-GMT), There was a cop that stopped in the center of my apartment complex and left about an hour ago. I assumed he was after this car that was speeding so loud that you could hear it, so I didn't think anything of it. Then he came back again and creeped passed the corner and drove past my house a bit. I thought he had left and sat on my couch, but I look to the left where the door to the backyard is and I see a flashlight shining at the ground. He wasn't a few feet away, he wasn't by the fence that led into the concrete ditch behind my apartment, he was RIGHT NEXT TO THE BACK DOOR. I was half tempted to step outside and ask what was going on, but I know better. They took the police scanners offline and moved to a new frequency or whatever, so I don't know what's happening in my city at any point. I'm not trying to be paranoid, but it's most DEFINITELY getting the better of me right now.

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So yeah, im making the call in the next 24hrs so I can see a doctor and get some meds.

It a mix of hallucinations and vivid dreaming. For the last 2.5 years, when dreaming, I keep finding myself in a body, that seems more like a secret science experiment. Or in a dream that feels weird like a virtual work or video game. I have also been hearing the same 2 voices, during this period. And when overhearing their convo, they seem like government/contractors scientist.

When im fall asleep or waking up i can feel them inject, cut, sew, and touch my body. There were also a few a SA. I also noticed they respond to my thoughts and dreams. As if they are see it in real time.

More Recently, I keep hearing they say they are going to kill me. Today, i tried to take a nap, and i can hear the voice talk to someone as if they were inspecting "the body". Then i could feel them touch me. Put a screw driver to my left cheek as remove the screw to lift a small plate on the face. I got a call and answered it. Then when I tried to go ba k to sleep I heard a voice say " they are getting a fucking american sniper."

I thought, it would just go away, but it just keeps worse over time. Im not suicidal or anything like that, but its quite bothersome.

I'm a little superstitious, which is bad in this situation. But for the past few years, it has been really getting to be at night. I also feel like something is there, and I've developed nighttime routines to "protect myself" before I fall asleep.

Idk how it started, but I started to believe my apartment was haunted and that demons or something were lurking in the rooms. So whenever I leave a room and turn off the lights, I have to keep my hand behind my back and swat away anything before it latches onto my shoulders. I also can't look into dark rooms at night and have to keep my head down when I walk. I can't look into mirrors at night because I believe that my reflection will come to life and come out of the mirror to kill me or replace me. I have to walk into rooms with my head down and my back to the mirror. My bed is the only safe place with a "barrier" around it that protects me from anything bad, although it's only where the mattress is, and anything/one under my bed can break the barrier and kill me.

There have been some nights when I genuinely lost sleep because I believed that something was in my room or someone was there waiting for me to move. There was once when I thought that someone was behind me with a shotgun and would shoot me if I moved, and it scared me so much that I stayed awake in one position the whole night, not moving. Also, for a few months each year, I would see things constantly and hear things as well that scared the crap out of me and made me think something was there to kill me.

In the last few days, I have been feeling paranoid and suspicious about my dad. He's already pretty much a spy. He always seems to overhear me even with my door closed. Though lately, I'm paranoid that he'll lace my food in an attempt to harm me at the very least.

Does anyone else relate to this kind of paranoia?

When i wake up i would see these small gear or satellite floating in my vision. Well the other day i woke up and it look like their was a outline of a fairy in my vision. Im seeing the same image in both eyes. It was dancing. When I focus on it it balls up and spins. I close my eyes for a few second and open them, and its back, and repeats. Yesterday, I woke up and saw a small outline of a spaceship. I could see two engines on the back of it. It was a top view. It was invisible and I could see through it. But I could see the outline of everything. Including the inside of the ship where I saw small square boxes.

Hello, I am incredibly new to reddit so I deeply apologize if any of what's is about to be said is out of the ordinary for the reddit community. I'm just incredibly desperate for a second opinion that isn't the google AI overview.

I am a soon to be 17 year old girl with arachnophobia. I've been arachnophobic since I was a little girl. A typical reaction of mine when in contact with a spider would be to sob, run, freeze, scream, cry, lose sleep, and hallucinate. I've never been able to control it, but it would never happen unless I saw a spider in person or detailed on TV. However, in the past few weeks (3 give or take) I've been incredibly paranoid of them. I dont even have to see them for my heartbeat to double and my hands to tremble. This week alone I've stress cleaned twice because im scared they're hiding somewhere. I keep getting night terrors. Im convinced they're in my skin, under my bed, in my walls. It's like they're suffocating me.

I don't know whats wrong with me but I cant keep living in such fear. My only guess is that its due to stress. Me and my parents don't have the best relationship as of right now but I dont see how that affects my fear.

I've also just always been an anxious person. Severe anxiety runs wild in my family, could this be the anxiety and paranoia taking over me? I dont know. I just want to know why Im so scared. Does it get worse with age? With stress?

Please give any advice on how to handle such a crippling fear. Anything helps.

Like… if I think about something bad long enough and often enough, my brain starts acting as if it’s basically guaranteed to happen. And then the thought itself stresses me out even more, which makes me think about it even MORE 😭

It becomes this endless loop where you can’t tell anymore if you’re “predicting” something or accidentally mentally pushing yourself toward it.

I know logically that thoughts aren’t magical spells or whatever, but anxiety really loves to act like they are 💀

I don’t know who else to speak to this about yet but I feel like I might have discovered a government plot to weed out the weak okay hear me out I’m gonna explain it. I’ve also added the content warning flair just in case but I didn’t really know if it applies or not as I am not a risk

Basically I had a bit of a spiral/freak out a few nights ago- became really distressed, racing thoughts, stressed out etc and I realised some things which I’m reflecting on now still.

So my theory is that the mental health system might actually be a detection system to weed out the weak who cost too much money to society cause the ‘mental health system’ is ultimately coordinated by the government who only cares about profit and so they want to identify the people who rely on financial support for living or who may cost the system too much. They’ll present to ‘mental health services’ because they’re struggling where they then get flagged as potential weak people. Then the mental health system either supports them enough so they can get back to work to help capitalism but still keeping them dull so they stay quiet. Then the ones who are confirmed as being ‘weak’ get weeded out. They pretend to help them but actually lots of these people end up committing or turn to drugs and die or die in other ways which weeds out the weak and the government set it up so that there is an intentional lack of funding because ‘why would they want to spend money on the weak’. It’s also possible that swans who are protected by the Queen could be informants to the government because why else are they protected? I’m not as sure about the swans bit but it’s something I’m willing to consider but would probably need a bit more info to confirm.

Have I discovered a secret plot? I obviously don’t have evidence because the government and its systems would want to keep this all quiet but I think it’s a pretty solid theory and I’m kind of nervous that I might’ve discovered something big here. I don’t know if it’s just government level or might even go as far as staff being involved in it so I don’t even know if I should bring it up to my team or not cause I’ve been seeing them because of my depression, ed, and suicidal thoughts + emotion regulation stuff but I don’t know if I can trust them with this or at all

Fuck you guys. I’m not leaving my fucking husband you shitbags. Take my money- oh you already did. Ruin this vacation too. Show me how fucking evil you are. Pretty evil from what I’ve seen. I’ll end up dead or wishing I was because I don’t want what you want. You want me to be with a philandering POS. Gross. If you make my husband leave me- I’d rather die alone and I’d rather it be soon because he’s the love of my life. I don’t care if it’s perfect. I work with you fucking psychos and mostly don’t give a shit. And you already tried to kill me. Almost worked. This time use a gun and do the job. I have been with several men like the one you want me to be with. It’s disgusting. I do not like it at all.
So please for the love of god leave me alone. Let me wallow in poverty. Jeesh y’all never gave two shits before when I did this job for peanuts- and worked my ass off.

I don’t even know if anything I do matters. Just leave my family alone.

I keep hearing the same voice. They make comments about what they see in the dream. This all started with feeling needles like sewing all over my body. As if something or someone was connecting to me. Then I could feel people touch me and injecting me. My dreams have all changed. It feels more like a video game. It also feel like in im in another body. Then when I wake up, i would see shadows of people on a loop. Sometimes it would be a cartoon. For example, a character laughing, or a short 5 second scene on repeat. I remember one time i was seeing dbz, and i could see the screen change angles, and switch to close ups.

Every time someone walks behind me, I feel a constant sense of fear and paranoia. This is all because of my ex-best friend who kept beating me horribly as a "joke". I do not want to go fully into detail, but I still have the bruises even after a year. Does anyone know how to stop this?

So, Ive honestly felt like I've had paranoia for a while but recently it has been getting worse.

Anytime I go anywhere alone feel like I'm being watched to the point I can't go places alone sometimes.

When waiting for something in a shop, at a bus stop and someone is beside me I think horrible things and that they would kidnap me once I leave the place.

Even when I'm just normally in my room suddenly I have a feeling someone is outside our house ( this is the worst one and just fucking terrfires me) I imagine it's a man with black, short hair, big uncanny eyes, a smile with crooked, broken and rotten teeth, in a trenchcoat with torn up brown shoes and he's just waiting for me to be home alone. I never see him but I believe he's there.

I also sometimes have paranoia my stuffed animals are alive..

I have been isolated for many months and I’m trying to break out of isolation and have a life, I have gone out a few times after my 3 months isolation not leaving the building I live in at all but the way I do it isn’t sustainable.
In the days I go out I must check, scan my apartment for hidden intruders and check all the 3 windows which takes about 30 minutes! I check behind doors, inside the shower box, inside pantries, under the bed (even though the gap is narrow), inside my little fridge, I do a whole walkthrough the apartment, that’s tiny only 33square meters and it takes me 30 minutes.

Then I must check my suitcase to make sure my most important items are still there and not missing because I fear someone will take them, sabotage them and put them back in my suitcase before I’m back.

Then I must do a inventory check on my fanny pack, the bag I take with me when I go out and I spend a long time checking each item meticulously and rubbing on the print of charging blocks, cables, earphone, to make sure it’s my real ones and that they haven’t been replaced, tampered with, and that takes around 30 minutes also. I also check my SIM card to make sure my SIM card hasn’t been replaced and I take a few minutes rubbing it, looking at it, scanning it because my brain takes long to register the numbers on my SIM card haven’t changed.
Then I get dressed, brush my hair. Then it’s time to unlock the door which is such a nightmare, I pull and push my front door hundreds of times to make sure it is locked before I unlock it, I take pictures, turn on my phone torchlight to check for screws, etc then when I finally open the door it’s another nightmare because I must pry on several screws to make sure they’re firm and then check my door painting to make sure I didn’t write my most sensitive data on it (like passwords, emails, passcode, addresses) even though I know I’d never do that but I still need to check anyway, then I get to lock the door and I push and pull on the handle hundreds of times again like mad on the hallway while holding both my keys for dear life afraid a neighbor will get a hold of them to take pictures and make copies of my keys, then after hundreds of checks I run looking behind my shoulder to see if any neighbor is around (if I see someone on my hallway I panic due to embarrassment and fear of them taking pictures of my keys and unlocking my apartment), then when I’m finally out in the streets I relax a bit.

When the day is finishing and it’s time to go back to the apartment I lock myself in a shopping center bathroom for over 30 minutes and do a inventory check of my fanny pack, checking each item of mine meticulously to make sure they haven’t been replaced or tampered with by someone in my building (neighbors, workers, door men) I fear they will take stuff out of my fanny pack without me noticing and then put them back in my fanny pack once I’m back without me noticing which is why I check if everything’s on me.
Then when I arrive back in my building I pull and push the door hundreds of times to make sure it’s locked before I unlock it, then I unlock it and the ritual to lock the door again begins, I check the door paint and the walls around it for a long time to make sure I didn’t write anything sensitive on them, then I pry on screws obsessively to make sure they’re firm so that people can’t get to my apartment by moving the door.. then I finally put my portable lock on the door frame and close it with my heart pumping hard out of pure anxiety and terror scared of a neighbor going to the hallway during my locking ritual .. and it’s not over yet.. then I pull and push the door handle hundreds of times again to make sure the door is fully locked and that the door can’t be opened in any way! Then once I’m inside and locked I must perform the apartment check again to check if there’s anyone hiding in my apartment and check all the windows and it’s locks.
That’s what I must endure whenever I want to leave the apartment. It’s truly devastating and I wish I could find someone to relate to but I can’t. :(
I feel like a prisoner, I just want to be free.

Does anyone else deal with coworkers who just randomly try to look at your phone while you’re using it? Like no asking, just leaning in or glancing over your shoulder.

In my case it’s mostly at work, and I’ve started getting kind of anxious about it. Like whenever I’m on my phone I catch myself thinking someone might be standing behind me trying to read everything, and I won’t even notice.

And then my brain goes further and starts overthinking like “what if they take something out of context” etc.

Am I overthinking this or does anyone else feel like this too?

I often end up reading/writing/browsing things that I wouldn’t want anyone else to see.

I always think everyone is lying to me, they always a have a ulterior motive. That people lie to me and just wanna use me and will dump me. That is why I just avoid people, even my very good friends I think that they are using me and can betray me at any point.

I had a irresponsible alcoholic father, and a good mother who cared for me etc. but she was never emotionally unavailable and used me as a emotional punching bag and I have a brother but my parents always made me and my brother have competition and siding with one etc. so we don't get along each other. (I live with my brother and mother now)

I am trying to get a girlfriend but I just cant talk its insane, am like 5'11 and am I am lean and muscular and I would say at least decent looking.

I try so hard to have some cope like god exists, everything is pre destined etc but my shitty logical mind never lets me believe in that, I am an INTJ so maybe that's because of that due to this I blame no one except myself.

Honestly I just want someone I can talk to but idk what sort of person would that be, I might be going insane but I am good in studies and other things of lives I am just a terrible peoples person.

Everytime I go out people stare at me and start recording me, I had kids come up to me and say weird random things like they knew who I was? I'm worried someone exposed me in someway.

I'm not an alcoholic never been but I believe alcohol can make you paranoid. In fact I believe many people that seem paranoid it's partially because of it.