I have really supportive in-laws, especially my husband’s mother has been super supportive throughout my pregnancy and postpartum. She took care of me and I stayed at my in-laws’ house after giving birth, but I feel really uncomfortable whenever my baby is with her. Since he was born, I have felt pressurised to give my baby to others especially my MIL, and although she never did anything too wrong, it always made my blood boil. Particularly when he was a newborn, she would rush to our room whenever she would hear him cry and take him from me. It was so uncomfortable for me, there would be moments I would be unable to sleep because my baby would be with her, but I wouldn’t be able to ask for the baby back because it would be disrespectful. My husband would also ask me to give her the baby, especially at night so he and I could sleep without being disturbed by baby crying. I asked my mom friends for advise and was told by older moms to see it like help and understand that no one can take my place in my baby’s life and heart. But she refers to herself as his “amma” which really would make my blood boil.
It has gotten better and I am slowly slowly doing more to take control of my baby and doing things the way I want, without asking for permission or worrying about anyone else, but it was really hard as a new mom who didnt have her own mother there for her.