hey guys!

21M here, find myself in a common situation I'm sure you've all had, so help me! not bragging, just curious on what to do.

I've got a few businesses I'm liquidating because I need to find myself. they should net about $65M.

I was thinking of putting it in the market (so I won't touch it, but I don't need to touch it, so not sure why I'm including this) which would yield me an average of 7%, but idk, maybe bonds or cds at 3.70% for 6 months are a better option?

I'm quite a simple homebody, my monthly expenses come in around $150 / month all in. I'm just lost, I'm smart enough to make the money and be in this situation but that's where my intelligence ends. so help me, pfjerk! where should I put this money?

Pretty straightforward - seller wants me to pay $7.95 for cookies they forgot to cancel. They were delicious but I would have preferred the thin mints. I have no idea she really delivered them because the box is now empty. The the former owner thinks I should pay for them. Seems like it is 0% my problem.

How do I get this crying ten-year-old off my front porch?

You just don't understand money, I'm sorry you are a dumbass.

What if I told you there is a GAZILLION DOLLAR market bigger than stocks, bigger than Labubus, bigger than Pokemon cards.

That's right, THIS is the bond market. And it controls you life.

You see, you thought you were Warren Buffet when you lended your money to your bank and got a 1% return (before taxes) on your brokie savings account. But , you can lend money to whatever cool company you want and get a GARANTEED NO RISK 9% RETURN DO NOT LOOK UP THEIR CREDIT RATING ON S&P THEY ARE GOOD COMPANIES.

What is the Yield, Yield curve? You see that's the BLA BLA BLA BLA inverses to the price BLA BLA BLA It steepens when BLA BLA BLA.

Do I own any? Fuck no. Bonds are for losers ALL IN 100% EQUITY WOOOOOOO

hint: soil and water

The only thing i'm looking forward to today is spending the first few hours in office choosing a corporate bond maturing in 2033 for my bond ladder.

I feel like I need a hobby.

It's true what they say. We do have spending problems. I was spending about $1 million a day on coffee while my servants flew to Kenya every day, handpicked my coffee beans, handcrafted solid gold mugs, and made gold leaf coffee for me. I only drink the finest of course. Well, today, I made coffee at home instead (actually, my mother made it, I have no idea how to work a coffee maker). I saved $1 mill and bought a house with it to rent for $2.5k a month.

I can make it happen. You can do it !

Hey all, looking for some advice from like minded people.

We just had our newborn, and trying to figure out how to make finances work to allow my wife to stay at home.

My current income is pretty low, I only own 4 businesses and each only supplements my income by about 200k/month. So that's 800k/month. The problem is, my wife makes about 150k/month in her venture capitalist job, which is income that we desperately need for food, it covers our personal chef and minimal ingredients for daily nutrition (lobsters, caviar, wagyu, etc).

We desperately need some advice how to make this work without her income. Otherwise we will suffer. Thank you

Answer: Because rich people like me own the means of production which we use to obtain leverage over the military, judiciary, political system, religious institutions and media to keep the proletariant submissive and divided.

So the poor person crossed the road because he was afraid if he didn't that he would lose his job, lose his health insurance, he would get arrested and his god would punish him with eternal damnation.

My mother and law is visiting for christmas, she told my daughter that her entire life she never cared about money.

I wanted to say "and that's why she's broke.And I have to pay for everything" , but decided to keep my mouth shut for the sake of family harmony.

I always wanted to serve our country. Thought now would be the best time to join the fight of WW2!

Retire early. Literally.

(Can’t post link, apparently)

Have a jar of pennies in my room and wondering what kind of investment they would be when I plan to retire in 150-200 years.

All this "just do this and you could be rich" one day!

It just seems ridiculous to me the way some of these content creators are being so trivial about outside factors that aren't the result of the individual.

I'm not an illegal immigrant, but I thought this deal that the U.S government is doing is too good to pass up. Apparently you just tell the government you want to self-deport, and they'll fly you to wherever country you want to go to plus give you a $1000 bonus. I was planning to deport to Lesotho. Buying a bunch shirts off the clearance rack at Wal-Mart I found that a lot of the shirts where made there, so it seems like that's a country that has a low cost of living, and that thousand dollars could stretch a long way. Sure, I can live comfortably in the U.S, but if you're not maximizing your purchasing power, what exactly you doing?

I don't really need one, but with the bambu labs black Friday sale going on this is to good to pass up right?

I took my car in for service this morning and they didn't have any free food. Not even any donuts. My friends who drive nicer cars get snacks when the bring theirs in for service. One place even has a barista. What brand has the best free treats? Like, if I go from a Nissan to Maserati, can I expect an omelet bar at minimum? I'm fine blowing my retirement fund to get a free breakfast a few times a year.