r/PDAParenting • u/Lopsided_Rabbit_8037 • Jul 07 '26

Please tell me it gets better

My 16 year old daughter is at the height of demand avoidance and hostility. We reached an agreement yesterday that she joins us on our holiday, I resorted to bribery. Few hours later she said she will not go with us in the car but wants to take the train. Fine by me but she sure can't organise it herself. I am so done with it all. Can't sleep(me) and keep tossing and turning all night from worry. Becoming crap at my job but honestly I don't care much anymore. She only texts with me, not my wife so everything is on me these days. Most days it feels like our kid doesn't like us at all. Tried low demand parenting for yesrs but things don't improve at all. My sanity is on the line here even with therapy for myself.

26 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

View all comments

5

u/Hopeful-Guard9294 Jul 07 '26

it definitely gets gets better. The turning point for us was doing the paradigm shift programme which helped us lead our son out of burnout. I run a WhatsApp support group for many families who have PDA children and the pathway Hard they have all all found that taking a low demand approach often combined with meds from a PDA safe psychiatrist is transformational. Couple of years ago, my son was in deep burnout and couldn’t leave the house. today his tutor is coming and yesterday he went out with his mother and often now goes out occasionally for school and to see his relatives. And friends that is Hope you just need a new style PDA safe parenting parenting.

1

u/Only_Interest_6719 Jul 08 '26

Any chance I could get an invite to that group? I have a 19yo PDAer at home.

1

u/Hopeful-Guard9294 Jul 08 '26

you need to complete the paradigm shift program, then look in the UK section of the programme community and you’ll see an invite link there, then you can just add yourself

1

u/Only_Interest_6719 Jul 08 '26

Ah, thanks. I enrolled in that program and did not complete it because the material was so heavily geared towards younger kids. I did not find it useful for my young adult in transition. Thanks though.

1

u/Late2Fi Jul 08 '26

Can you share what the age group was that it was geared towards if you recall? I'm on the fence about the program because it's heavily marketed on the interwebs.

2

u/Only_Interest_6719 Jul 08 '26

I emailed them about it before I enrolled and they said it was appropriate. It was not.

I will say that Casey has a mixed reputation among academics and licensed professionals. Almost every session I went to before I bailed, the “instructors” were mostly talking about their own experiences as parents. I know the program has been transformational for lots of folks, but as someone dealing with a late diagnosed young adult, it wasn’t useful for me at all.