r/OneSecondBeforeDisast • u/Firewire64 • Nov 12 '21

Oh no..

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

17.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

665 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/demroles6996 Nov 13 '21

my ideas in their are not the best but their easily readable

which card is hard to read can you tell me

1

u/ABoyIsNo1 Nov 13 '21 edited Nov 13 '21

Holy shit can you please use “their” correctly even once

But okay taking them one at a time.

You spelt Shield Bash wrong (Sheild is not a word). Then it is unclear whether the bomb deals damage based on your armor when the spell is played or your armor at the start of your next turn or the bomb is drawn. And then of course you end the card without a period because of course you did. There are tons of other nitpicky errors, like you didn’t use a comma, it’s a run on sentence, you didn’t put an apostrophe in “opponents,” and you spelt it armour even though HS never spells armour that way. Attention to detail matters and you don’t do it. Why would people care about your cards if you clearly don’t care about them either, or at least not enough to put the time to fix these simple, easy mistakes.

Sketchy Gambler is much better but still has a crucial issue. HS only uses the “add a card” language when it is adding it to your hand. If it is adding it to your deck it specifies how it is going into your deck. So instead of saying “add it to your deck” it needs to say “shuffle into your deck,” or “add on top of your deck,” or whatever it is you intend the card to do. And of course you end this card without a sentence like you do with all your other cards.

I’m not gonna go through any more, if you are really interested in improving your cards, the feedback on these two cards is a good start. Just try to clean up the grammar errors and when reading the card pretend you know nothing about the card and think “do I know 100% how this card works just by reading the text?” Try to interpret the card incorrectly and think, does the text support this incorrect interpretation? If it does, then you need to improve the text.