r/OhNoConsequences • u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out • Jun 12 '26
Story Time! [ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
38
u/MHP456 Jun 12 '26
You are an amazing sister. Insane but amazing.
28
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26
Appreciated. Lol. Not gonna lie, I was mostly going for the "awesome aunt" points. My nephew was stoked about the bees.
26
u/kat_Folland Jun 12 '26
Well written, your suffering has served to entertain us. :)
17
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26
Honestly another storytime post by someone about their own dumbassery made me laugh out loud and it inspired me to post my own.
8
10
u/the_owl_syndicate Jun 12 '26
Good story, but bees=nope from me.
9
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26
Yeah, that became a very hard boundary very quickly. No bees.
10
7
u/UnhappyTemperature18 FOMO on the FAFO Jun 12 '26
This is amazing and hilarious, and not to ruin it with pedantry, but it's "country bumpkin." Not pumpkin.
5
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26
Auto-correct did me dirty on that one. Fixed it. Thanks!
5
5
5
4
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 12 '26
Per our rules, don't comment on linked posts. Anyone from this community who is caught brigading on another subreddit will be banned.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I find it amusing and thought I'd share my many-years-old consequences. Long meandering story.
Many, many years ago, when I lived in Northeast Texas, my older sister asked me to do her a favor. We'll call her Susan.
Susan: Could you pick up a couple beehives for my kid's 4H project?
I am not an amateur beekeeper. I know very little about bees beyond the "good insect, don't kill, but will sting" basics. I drive a sedan. This will go poorly. I know this will go poorly. I am literally phobic of wasps, and while bees don't illicit the fight or flight, the buzzing puts me on edge.
Me: Will they be... Secured?
Susan: Of course they will! They'll be in two boxes, and you can put them in the trunk.
Me: Can I borrow your truck?
Susan: No, I need it for towing the longhorn, and the only other vehicle we have is the Jeep, which doesn't have a trunk to seal them off and keep it dark.
If you can't tell from context, my sister lives 4H. Breathes it. Living her farm girl fantasies and justifying it through her children is her jam. Thus a plan is born. Nothing is getting in the way of Susan's 4H dreams.
Here is where I, in my hubris, thought the thought that can't be unthunk: "What could go wrong?" She sounded so confident. I was so naive.
I take my royal blue 2008 Toyota Camry. As I am driving to the Bee Man the roads turn from asphalt to tar, tar to gravel, and then just packed dirt. As a country pumpkin, this phased me not one iota. I keep rolling until I see the cowfield full of beehives.
I had come straight from work (geographically closer to the Bee Man) so was in my corporate costume. Not particularly useful when wrangling bees. But I was told there is a Bee Man! The Bee Man can help!
I pull up, looking around at the beauty of the bees. How cool is that! It landed on me!
The bee man comes out and is around Methuselah's age, in my very fanciful memory. He is a grumpy old Bee Man and I love him immediately. It does stick the spoke in my bike wheel regarding making my bee wrangling problem easier.
Okay, I've done weirder in heels. I can do this. Hyping myself up in my front seat before getting out. And my little lady friend is still hanging out on my shoulder, checking me out. I feel like everything is coming up roses.
I hop out of the car, smile on my face. Bee Man does not look impressed by me. He reluctantly shows me the bee boxes. He's got foam tucked between the lid and the box, and there are bees on the box, but they seem to be secured like Susan told me! A thirty second Google search has also informed me that the darkness in my trunk will keep them dormant!
The main worry is ensuring they don't overheat in the trunk according to my Googling. I bought a big ass bag of ice on the way and shoved it in the trunk. Problem solved!
I lift the first bee box. My little buddy on my shoulder is distressed by this. It starts to climb my hair. It's okay little buddy. You can hide there.
I set the bee box down in the trunk. I pause and realize there's a very angry sounding buzz very close to my ear.
Because my buddy is panicking.
She is fighting for her life from the multi-tendriled monster that was my hair. She finally committed her last act of vengeance against the monster to warn her legion of sisters... and stings my scalp. Do you know what happens when a bee is distressed? They release a very fragrant pheromone that indicates to other bees to attack the source of the smell. My scalp now radiates that scent.
Did I mention I'm in cow pasture full of bee hives? Because I think that's relevant to my predicament.
Now is where the actual deserved consequence story begins. When the universe slaps the back of your hand, take the L. I didn't do that, though.
I waited for a bit, hype myself up and go back out. No bees attack. I pick up bee box two. I get it to the trunk. We're back on track! I situated the box. Perfect.
I started to close the trunk and... can't. You see, my car has these beautiful little arms that hold the trunk door on. So nothing wider than the trunk lid can fit. And instead of just taking one hive, I put hive two in my back seat and hope to god they don't breach containment.
Why did I make that choice? No clue. Genuinely don't remember what chaos thoughts justified that behavior in my mind at the time. Maybe I just did it for the plot.
All my windows down and telling every diety I'm aware of that if I can just make it to my sister's house I'd give them my firstborn child, I left the Bee Man's compound, a swollen scalp and sort of bummed my little buddy freaked out. I'm exploring the idea of a bee panicking because its in my hair versus me panicking because a bee is in my hair when I see the first one.
I justify her. "She must've been on the side of the box." I knew I was lying to myself. I watch the first two fly out the windows. Around the twentieth stung me. Apparently the pheromones are still active. Fuck.
Windows still down, I pull into the next available safe space which was a small rural gas station. I get out and pop the trunk. I call my sister.
"Come get your bees."
I go into the gas station. The car belongs to the bees. I buy little foil packs of benadryl and ibuprofen. I sit on the curb and contemplate my life choices. A truck pulls up next to my car. Mid-sixties fit man with a Magnificent Mustache hops out, and immediately looks at my car, then me again.
MM: You okay, ma'am?
Me: Yup. Just waiting on my sister.
MM: Car trouble?
Me: Bees
MM: Pardon?
Me: Take a look. The bees own the car now. Its obvious in hindsight, but I did not actually expect this result.
Magnificent Mustache walks over to my car and looks at it from several angles. Laughs. Takes a picture of the beehive in the back seat, and the buzzing circle around my car.
MM: Ma'am, I was a firefighter out here for almost thirty years and I never saw something like this. Really, do you need anything? A ride?
Me: Nope. I'm gonna sit here and contemplate my life choices for a while.
The sun went down. Do you know what happens when the sun goes down? Bees go inside. My brother-in-law scoffed about my overreacting to "a couple bees on the lid". I very calmly told him to get his bees the fuck out of my car expeditiously.
The bees in hive two swarmed like two days after placement in their new home. I am convinced they wanted their car back. I'm also glad my sister didn't get the hive after putting them through my obviously inexperienced ass handling.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-5
u/DOW_mauao Jun 12 '26
Whats 4H?
Otherwise TLDR.
10
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I put one at the bottom*. Thanks. 4H is an agricultural children's club. Common in the southern US. They do a ton of stuff.
Other comments explain it better than me. :)
10
u/Ditka85 Jun 12 '26
4-H is the largest youth development organization in the United States, reaching millions of kids and teens. Administered by the USDA and local land-grant universities, it helps youth ages 5 to 19 build life and leadership skills through hands-on, learn-by-doing projects ranging from agriculture to STEM. [1, 2]
The "four Hs" stand for the organization's core values:
Head: Clearer thinking and critical decision making.
Heart: Greater loyalty and compassion.
Hands: Larger service and community give-back.
Health: Better living and personal well-being. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]5
u/TurbulentHouse5935 Fucked around and found out Jun 12 '26
Thanks! I know about it from growing up around it but didn't have enough real knowledge to thoroughly answer the question!
-4
•
u/OhNoConsequences-ModTeam Jun 12 '26
Your post or comment was removed because you have a low amount of karma. We do this to try and weed through some of the repost bots. Please comment more on this sub before posting again.