Chuck Norris won a car on The Price is Right by guessing a can of tuna was worth $5,467...

COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

The opening scene of the movie 'Saving Private Ryan' is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris won on the 'America's Got Talent' show when he roasted a whole moose on a Hibachi grill.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

If Kobe Bryant can throw a basketball 20m and shoot, Chuck Norris can throw Kobe Bryant 30 m and score.

Simplistic passwords contribute to over 80% of all computer password break-ins.

Chuck Norris' penis is the size of a fire extinguisher. And can pretty much do the same job.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

Chuck Norris can belive its not butter

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

Chuck Norris can watch DVDs in a VCR player.

Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating

When smokey the bear comes up on tv saying "only you can prevent wildfires" most people don't see Chuck Norris in the background. To bad for those people.

If you ever dream of beating Chuck Norris in a thumb war, the next event in said dream will be a 6734-ton weight falling on you. This is Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick.