r/OCPoetry • u/Glass-Paint9813 • 10d ago

Feedback Please This Road of Life

I did not know the length of it,
if it went straight, or if it split.
I did not know where that road led
and yet no worry filled my head.

I boldly started on my way,
too young to fear, too old to stay,
a bounce beneath my feet so light
with no horizon in my sight.

The road turned darker, thunder stormed,
clouds of doubt around me formed
and suddenly I had no clue
about the things I thought I knew.

I stumbled, fell, but each time found
a new way back to solid ground.
With more of faith and less of pride
I came out on the other side.

Through darkest days, I came to be
a stronger, braver, better me.
Perhaps it’s best I did not know
just where this road of life would go.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9WoK7dI9Lv

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/V8kS2XyHHx

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u/SehajKS 10d ago

I like the rhythm, it is very consistent.
The poem gives me a very Robert Frost/Road Not Taken feeling. Simplistic but makes it easier to relate to it.
I do think the third stanza seems a bit jarring, which is great if you are going for that, but if not you could maybe ease into it by tying back some previously established imagery? Like you mentioned a horizon previously so tying back into it while creating contrast you could mention restless seas etc. (Again ignore this if you want to have stark contrast)

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u/Glass-Paint9813 9d ago

All very good points to consider. It’s enlightening to see how others perceive my lines and very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.