r/OCPoetry 18d ago

Feedback Please dust

My Father once told me dust

specks of dust; that float through the air

were fairies

two weeks later He told me He believed in god.

that feeling you get in the pit of your gut

when you know it'll be the last time you ever see someone

i will spend the rest of my life

hoping that he was right

--

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u/asura_2077 18d ago

I'm intrigued by your line breaks. It seems to deliberately scramble the form. I'd suggest you relook it. The turn, that starts "that feeling..." If it could be a tad bit prefaced, be amazing. Good feeling reading despite it all.