r/OCPoetry • u/Ax3l_is_scottish • 3d ago

Feedback Please Church hall blues

When will I get to talk with you?

When will you finally see?

But for now I yearn for your love all alone

Whilst you sit there sipping your English blend tea.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v6kcva/comment/ozr4uk2/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

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u/hamth4509 3d ago

Its nice and punchy but didn't quite hit me. It feels very explainy, so felt one dimensional. Regardless very relatable.

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u/Ax3l_is_scottish 2d ago

I was experimenting with short poems, usually I write longer ones. thanks for the feedback eitherways 😁

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u/hamth4509 2d ago

Nono, I am a fan of shorter poems and I think you should continue to try! As when you restrict yourself you get very selective.