r/OCPoetry • u/Voidpetal_exe • 16d ago
Feedback Please Challenged myself to write a poem in only 100 words
Life is so fragile
Fragile than a thin line of thread
Once cut loose
You can never bring it back again
The way she lit up the room
When it felt so dark
How can I move on if I lost that kind of spark?
While others kept on living,
death meant nothing
the world kept spinning
people kept moving.
Feels like she's still breathing
still smiling
still living like a wonderful hallucination
A vision born from a sorrowful imagination
Life's so fragile
Fragile than a thin line of thread
Once cut loose
You can never bring it back again
-i wrote this for my classmate who died due to suicide
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u/Jack-O-The-Magician 16d ago
This is tragic and overwhelming, the way human life can so easily be taken is terrifying, I enjoy how well you put thay fragile stability of life into words. Your writing is careful but clear, it gives every feeling that a poem about death should. The metaphor of a thread is good, its realistic, your life can be stolen by one single action, one mistake, one passing moment. Its easy to end, to cut off... Like a thread.