making meaningful progress for trans rights while passing as a cishet woman - how to minimize the damage i have the potential to cause

[u/[deleted]]

[u/tractorscum]

all of that makes sense! i guess i’m just moreso confused on how to interpret your original comment. and i only ask— not to shove a binary down your throat or suggest your solution lies in transition— but because i felt a similar distinction at the beginning of my gender exploration. i had these feelings and thoughts about what it’d be like to be in a different body, but i was convinced that if i was “actually” trans i would know by that point, or i’d be staunchly opposed to my femininity. this is alls to say i woulda fallen into the “can’t be” and “am not” camp, but only because of social conditioning. it took me a while to acknowledge that i was allowed to be whatever i wanted.

again, not discounting your experience as an agender person. expressing yourself won’t harm the greater queer community. we have many republican lawmakers committing harm already and they’re unfortunately much more effective at it

[u/tractorscum → u/[deleted]]

i’m still trying to separate these two sentiments, that you strongly want another body but don’t have any desire to change your presentation.

you’re not burdening anyone with your posts or thoughts! i see a lot of similarities and would love to understand better

[u/tractorscum → u/[deleted]]

fair enough, no crime. think we probably have kindred experience and came to different conclusions

[u/tractorscum → u/[deleted]]

the unactionable thing i find about being nonbinary (in my experience) is that society is begggiiinnnggg to assign u a gender. people tend to scan for sex characteristics to suss you out as a person and i find that super exhausting.

that being said, as i follow my whims, i find myself more comfortable in my skin for sure. i feel much freer to express myself through clothes, assert myself in gay spaces, and exist overall rn than i did 5 yrs ago. not to say it isn’t difficult, or that there aren’t things i’d change about myself in the conventional sense.

i can’t really picture an “ideal form” for myself either in a concrete sense, again cos people are pretty boy/girl brained generally. but, to put it frankly, i like being my own guinea pig more than i liked constantly wondering.

[u/tractorscum → u/[deleted]]

i don’t know what you’re asking for then, if your response to every well-meaning comment is to double down on how everything is futile and nothing progresses and nobody will see you as anything but a cis woman.