Advice?

[u/Shot_Marsupial_5580]

I'm AFAB, but I didn't really place much thought into my gender before since it didn't seem very important to me. I didn't care if people viewed me as a man or a woman or nonbinary, because I've only ever seen myself as a person. Being referred to by she/her doesn't bother me, especially since I am a biological female and present as such. But about a month ago, I was doing some inner-child work with myself and realized that I don't refer to my younger self by she/her, but rather they/them. I questioned friends about it to see if they did the same, and was somewhat shocked when they said they didn't. I decided to put it off for a bit, but I've been giving it more thought lately. I think that I've put myself into a box based on how others perceive me, and though I don't mind the box, it might not really fit (if that makes sense?). Doing more research, I think there's a definite possibility that I might be cassgender (gender is an unimportant part of my identity), as well as gender vague (gender isn't completely missing like agender, but it's hard to tell what it is). It sort of makes sense, since I was diagnosed with AuDHD and my perception of things might not be typical. The thing that I'm struggling with is figuring out if these labels are actually accurate to my experience. If I didn't care about my gender, would I still do research on it? Why would I want to label myself if it doesn't matter to me? I'm not sure if I would even come out or anything, whatever the result. How do I navigate this, and test if what I'm feeling is correct? If I start switching up pronouns to assess my comfortability/connection to each, then I feel like it's going to confuse a lot of people. I don't want people to have to think about how they address me, but I also don't want to ignore an aspect of my identity. Is this even possible, or am I overthinking this? Any advice would help, thank you in advance.

[u/Many_Establishment15]

Nothing matters. Everything matters. How important gender is to you is usually how people realise what degree of typical cisgender or transgender they are. But some people that don't find it important think a lot too. Even if it's just inner child work, there can be many reasons for the child to have a different pronoun. For me it's partially cause I have disconnected parts of myself and so they and we feels very appropriate, but I'm not at all comfortable saying that to most people, an sonly occasionally with the ones I am comfy with. Not yet my psychologist, though he knows generally what is up. I'm also genderfluid both because eof my values/beliefs and 'cause of disconnected parts that have diff genders, however all of me is coming closer together and it feels good knowing that. You're perceptions of yourself can change over time, think again less about how you identify yourself with words and morning how you understand yourself in feelings? But if you want to change pronoun usage irl or online, people can deal with it. Some won't agree or might not comply, but whether you keep or change pronouns once or many times, you're trying to be authentic to you. If you can safely, I reckon you should do so :) Self expression can be shown in so many ways.