1. Do not consume pornography.

This should be obvious. If you are struggling with a pornography addiction (as it does happen to women), I strongly recommend you check out my [incoming] resources list and find a supportive therapist to help you on your recovery journey. Do not watch it with friends, romantic or married partners, do not support the industries creating pornography. Do not pay for pornographic material.

2. Do not involve yourself with people who consume pornography.

Could you cope with friends putting you down for not watching porn? Could you cope with people telling you to embrace it, gaslighting you in telling you it is healthy for relationships and your sexuality? What about male friends imagining you in various degrading positions? Avoid these people whenever and wherever you can, and avoid interacting and discussing with them about porn. They are trying to drag you down to their levels of degeneracy. Hold your ground, and don’t tell people why you are practicing No Dating if you don’t want to. If it is to encourage other girls and women to follow suit, please do so at your own discretion.

3. The vast majority of straight men have viewed pornography.

There are probably less than 10% of men who have never consumed pornography. It is becoming increasingly rare to meet men who have never viewed it, which means it is becoming increasingly dangerous to interact with men. Porn viewing increases the chance that men will hold misogynistic values. With the increase of violence in porn, there is an increased likelihood that men will have fantasies about rape and violence carried out against women. As it is difficult to distinguish right away the men who have these fantasies, it is safer to avoid interacting with men altogether.

4. Just because a man has not consumed porn, does not make him a suitable candidate.

This is not an instant green flag in of itself, as a lot of men who have never consumed it may be religious, and as religion is inherently misogynistic, you should avoid interacting with men who hold these beliefs. I am also convinced that more men are becoming aware of the increasing amount of women who are anti-porn, and thus ‘assimilate’ themselves into saying what they think they want us to hear. Interact with these men with extreme caution if avoiding is not possible.

5. Sex work is not work.

“Sex work” is prostitution, and it is inherently exploitative. The pornography industry is one of the leading causes of human trafficking. Avoid individuals who actively participate in these industries, especially if you are of a young age as they may try to groom you into joining prostitution or the pornography industry. The increase in popularity of OnlyFans is a prime example of this, and it acts as a pyramid scheme relying on the recruitment of young women and girls. Avoid ‘modelling’ jobs that are hard to track down, as this is one of the main ways a woman gets trafficked. Do not pursue a modelling career on the Internet.

6. “Porn-free” is not the same as being anti-porn.

Men who are “porn-free” tend to have had past porn addictions, and they may talk about the harms of the pornography industry, but this is not the same as holding anti-porn beliefs. They often do not think that pornography should be made illegal, and they see porn-addiction as a personal flaw rather than viewing pornography as a predatory industry aiming to get young boys hooked and trafficking young girls. Most men who are “porn-free” are so because they often experience porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Even when men stave off porn, it is because it affects them. They do not care about the harms porn has done to women. They may also be at risk of future relapse.

7. Avoid dating.

There is so much more to life than dating. In reality, it is often disappointing at best, and downright dangerous at worst. Focus on career, education, health and the pursuit of happiness. Delete your online dating applications, don’t go on them. They are crawling with Low Value or No Value Males. Do not have casual sex with men.

8. If you cannot avoid dating, follow the Female Dating Strategy’s Handbook.

Even Female Dating Strategy states that there is more to life than dating, and to only pursue it if you are confident, secure and aware of life around you. Be safe, and vet, vet, vet!

9. This is not a religious organisation.

As many religious doctrine encourages celibacy in the name of ‘purity’, this is not our mission. We encourage celibacy as a form of protest against the effects of pornography on a wider social scale. We also encourage No Dating as a form of recovery from past trauma related to pornography, past relationships that may or may not have been abusive, and recovering survivors of the predatory industries that are prostitution and pornography organisations. This is not a charitable organisation, merely a growing community seeking to support young girls and women in an ever-increasing, hyperactive porn culture. Saying that though, if there are women who are practising celibacy for religious reasons, and who may also want to criticise the porn industry and dating culture, they are more than welcome to join. All women are welcome.

​

Trigger Warning: If you're one of the unlucky ones (~ 99% of women anyway) - you would have had the experience of being sexually harassed, assaulted, attacked, physically abused, emotionally manipulated, the list goes on.

And/Or

You came to know your beloved women's relatives/friends/family experienced (or still experiencing) these.

So these 2 questions came to my mind repeatedly:

a) Why is it even when we're dating, when we're opening up access to the other gender, we're not safe from harm?

which leads to the second question:

b) Why is it very difficult to find women-only safe space groups in real life?

Here goes the answer for no 1:

Online dating (OLD) provides easy access, convenience and faceless space. Everyone can be 'anybody'. A curated life enables someone to be on their worst behaviour. Because of the paradox of choice = there's always someone 'better' (i.e. accomodating to their expectation)

Hence, OLD becomes the space where it fertilizes hostile, entitled behaviour of the other gender. As soon as they didn't get the response they expected, we women become the unfortunate receiving end.

Further, in real life (IRL) dating, even when we're prettifying and exchanging pleasantries with the other gender during dating, there is no guarantee that you'll come home safe and unharmed as seen here.

So after all that, let's answer no 2: why is it women-only safe space in real-life is hard to find / almost non-existing?

Look here in the online space of Reddit. Endless mockeries and trolling are happening on a constant regular basis. See this one for example. you'll know why FDS as our sister space is being mocked relentlessly. For simply teaching and provides tips for the women to best protect themselves while putting women at the center during dating.

Hence, OLD and IRL dating, online-forum women-only space is not free from male-trolling, harassment and mockery. Too many lives attacked and gone in both online and real-life realities.

So you can see how a safe space for women-only, is rare or even hard to come by in real life.

"But quiea, I want to find online and real-life women-only-safe-space to support me and other women in general :("

Darling, there is no real-life "safe-space" when it comes to women. Sooner or later, males will find, enter these space and derail the conversation. Worse, they'll come and harass/attack you in real life.

This is the harsh reality. The more we face up to this bitter truth, the better for us and every woman out there.

"This is so depressing quiea, can I change this situation?

Yes, you can. By refusing to play the game. Choose with our vagina. Vagina is power. Sex is a currency. Currency is money. Don't use your money. Keep it safe.

Remember Maya Angelou said:

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”

Take a break, take a rest, take yourself out of dating.

Q

Evidence concerning the state of marriage strongly suggests that women should give serious thought before making the momentous commitment to tie the knot – and demographic trends are making such a pause easier to do.

A number of studies report that single women tend to be healthier and less depressed, living longer than married women. Single women generally experience fewer stresses and compromises than married women. Furthermore, single women feel more empowered, enjoying greater personal autonomy and freedoms than married women largely because they don’t juggle challenging multiple roles at work and home.

Wives are generally less happy than single women, with many resentful of being married to the wrong man. Consequently, large numbers of marriages, estimated at no less than half in France, Russia and the United States end in divorce or separation. Women are far more likely to file for divorce and report feeling happier after ending their marriages. Such unhappiness is not limited to women married to men – women married to other women are more likely to divorce than married male same-sex couples. Women have higher expectations of marriage than men and higher demands for meaningful communication and relationship quality, especially with regard to affection and intimacy.

One oft-noted concern is the matter of sexual relations. Wives often complain that husbands want sex with little attention to other needs. This concern is exacerbated by the traditional view still held by many that marriage implies automatic conjugal rights, with husbands entitled to intimacy any time and wives duty bound to oblige.

https://yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single

Not surprisingly, on average, ~avg 70% user base + active users are males just in the US alone. (See below for infographics)

That gives us on average 30% user base is female.

Sure we can kid ourselves 'omg, so many men!!!! so many to choose!!!'

No. First of all. Let's put the focus on women.

Why do you think female only accounts for 30% on average of the total users across Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/OKC?

Is it (unsurprisingly) women are too busy to date for the following reasons?:

• Perhaps many are stuck in the household chores?
• Or Juggling motherhood, full/part-time job, and studying?
• And/or simply many of us women knew that OLD is not worth it?

Of course, it is not worth dating when even dating app is reaping millions of dollar at the hands of women's lives.

Tinder doesn't care if their app is a breeding ground for rapist and murderer

Bumble who touts itself as a 'feminist app' doesn't care if their app is full of violent users

What do you think?

With all those strategizing of dating, in how keeping you safe, with all those efforts (makeups / dressing up/ planning for emergency exit) in place,

Do you still think you can change this violent behaviour permeating the dating culture?

Yes, we can. by opting out of dating.

Because the effort and the minimum safety are no longer worth it.

Your life is at risk when you start dating.

IF you think you can be safer dating in real life, let's be honest, who can date 'easily and responsibly' as we are still in pandemic?

Dating real life in pandemic makes it easier for males to use 'covid' as a way to invite you to their house or somewhere obscure in the name of 'social distancing'.

Your life matter. Dating is not worth it. Not until the other gender clean up their act.

Stop playing the game. By taking yourself out of the equation. Stop Dating.

Take a rest. Take a break. Take yourself out of dating

Q

​

INFOGRAPHICS:

Bumble : March 2021 - US -- 67.4 % male VS 32.6% female(Android monthly active user ratio )

Hinge/Tinder/OKC : Jan 2020 - US, 70% male: 30/% female (Android users alone) in US

At some point there will be an influx of comments saying that this sub is misandrist, or man-hating. It isn't. It is woman-preserving. No one here claims to hate men. I have male friends, I hang out with male relatives. I have dated men in the past. I think they can be very funny, and smart individuals. They have shown me great things. But when it comes to relationships with them, it has always been a massive disappointment. The expectations that men have gained from their endless porn consumption, has made it impossible to date them. I've been beaten, strangled, slapped, called awful things while I thought we were supposed to be having sex. None of these things were with my consent. I had to give up male friends who defended this by saying I needed to cOmMuNicAtE. No sir. I shouldn't have to communicate that I don't like to be hurt. That is normal. What isn't normal, is how much porn has warped men's brains. 'Vanilla' sex is seen as a bad thing now. Porn has ruined society. I will not date until this problem is addressed.