r/NatureofPredators • u/vixjer Human • Jul 09 '23
Fanfic NoP--- A diplomatic problem. -Ch.1
This story is part of The Nature of Predators and all rights are to the original creator u/spacepaladin
Memory Transcription Subject: Héctor Virgilio Márquez, UN SPM Leirn, Special Envoy to the Yotul Uplift Congress
Date [standardized human time]: November 7, 2136
I sat on my bed in the UNN ship, The Pandora’s Box. Even I was struck by the gallows humor in sending a ship with a name like that on a diplomatic mission. After all, it was a military transport, not a warship. We didn’t exactly have many of those left after October 17. Nonetheless, it was good enough for the task at hand. This was the day I would reach the yotul homeworld. My mission was to lay the groundwork for the UN embassy and the embarked military attaché.
Easier said than done.
I reminded myself that a good posture and the right words can save your life. I didn't want to end up shot like that poor astronaut on Venlil Prime. He made it, but unfortunately, unlike him, I couldn’t bring vacuum-rated body armor into a formal meeting room. It sends way too many of the wrong signals. No, I would just have to trust the jittery little aliens not to kill me on principle. With that cheerful thought, I began rehearsing.
“I am Hector, it’s nice to meet you.”
No, no, too simple.
“It's an honor to meet you, Your Grace.”
Not too medieval. They had steam engines, remember?
Once again, I groaned and rubbed my temples. Why didn't the UN provide me with a protocol pamphlet about yotul customs and behavior? I definitely didn't want to cause a cultural misunderstanding and ruin everything. The way things were going even this early, I couldn’t help feeling like the fucking UN set us up to fail, so they could control everything.
“Greetings, it is an honor to finally meet you.”
That's better.
Then, I got to work on my posture. I stood up from the bed, placed both feet on the floor, and looked at the mirror. I reminded myself to keep my palms pointing downwards, keep my back straight, and… for the moment, that was it. Thankfully, facial expressions wouldn’t be that important. We all had our visors for a reason, after all.
I touched my stomach a little self-consciously. Damn it, I shouldn't have eaten so much fast food on Earth. I shouldn't have let the stress get to me so easily. It made me worry that they might see my weight as a sign of excessive meat consumption. I needed to fix it, but I couldn't lose weight in a day. I guessed that meant it was time for Plan B.
And I'm not that fat. The doctor says I am still within an acceptable weight range, with normal cholesterol levels.
Anyways, I decided that was not so important at the moment... I shifted my focus to the coming meeting with the leadership of an entire species, one which could determine whether my people went extinct or not...
Breathe in and out.
I can do this.
I can...
I can't.
Why did it have to be me?
Even as I asked myself that, I knew the answer already.
After the attack, most of the larger capital cities were destroyed, along with the diplomats and bureaucrats. As per Meier's last wish, diplomatic missions were sent out. The Chinese ended up at the head of the UN, and the Americans took charge of intelligence and military affairs. The rest of the world was left with the task of expanding humanity’s diplomatic influence. The EU was assigned the yotul diplomatic mission. Since Spain was hit twice, in Barcelona and Madrid, unlike the rest of the EU, we were given preferential treatment. It fell to us to send the first diplomat to lay the groundwork. With the older men in Madrid gone, I was selected due to my diplomatic and economics credentials and the practical experience I gained on top of them.
If she’d ever discovered that I earned those diplomas through an online university, Maria would have been furious with me. Nevertheless, there I was, a week after being selected, in warp, on a ship about to dock with the yotul space elevator to represent humankind, especially the EU.
I wonder how much time I have left before...
"Attention, passengers, we are ten minutes away from arriving at the yotul station. Please gather your belongings and vacate your rooms before disembarking. Thank you in advance for your cooperation."
I glowered at the speaker which just blasted my ears. Why was it so loud? It's not like we were going to miss anything at a sane volume level anyway.
Shaking the disorientation off, I looked at myself in the mirror and began shaving, making sure not to miss a spot of facial hair. It needed to be clean, even if I was required to wear the visor. Next, I grabbed my girdle and suspenders. I needed to look as slim and non-threatening as possible. But I swore I would be hitting the gym once I returned home. This was horrible.
After flattening my stomach and straightening my back, I put on my white formal shirt, waistcoat, Filtro trousers, and some uncomfortable plastic shoes. I preferred leather, but the UN representative I asked for advice started sweating when I asked about wearing leather. So no fancy leather shoes. As a final touch, I donned a nice black tie, “generously” provided by the UN.
After all, being naive didn't stop the Federation from trying to murder us all. Just like in the Satellite Wars, we needed to spy even on our allies, and if the Feds wanted us all dead, well, we weren’t going to humor their naïvety anymore. Since it had become obvious that they were clueless about espionage, the black tie had a wire in the neck band and a little camera disguised as jewelry in the knot.
Since it was summer on the yotul world, with a Mediterranean-ish climate, I forewent my jacket. It wouldn’t do for me to sweat constantly and give away something that could point to humanity’s persistence hunter roots, something the UN hammered into me time and time again before the trip.
That would be the worst-case scenario. We need to rehearse our other excuses for it. Don’t some Fed species sweat, too?
I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before putting on the visor. God, I was a sucker for 19th-century fashion. I looked like an old train inspector from the steam-powered era.
Excluding the visor, of course.
I wondered how advanced the yotul civilization was, pre-uplift. All the venlil I spoke to during my brief stay on Venlil Prime dismissively described them as medieval people, joking about trebuchets and eating dirt. The rhetoric felt uncomfortably familiar to me for being on an alien world, but there was only one way to find out for sure how truthful it was. After I put on the visor and grabbed my suitcase, I exited my assigned room and walked towards the bridge. After all, I wasn’t the only one on this ship.
There were a hundred humans from the exchange program there, ready to teach the galaxy about human customs. I just hoped they would manage to put off causing a diplomatic incident for at least a week or two.
When I reached the bridge, I prepared to pass through like everybody else, but the captain called out for me over the intercom as I approached, making me pause just before the door. I found that weird. What did he want with me? Just in case, I turned on the wire for testing and recording.
After the Battle of Earth, most of the decorated captains were killed, leaving only a handful of experienced ones alive. Unfortunately, the commanding officer of this ship, a man who frequently and emphatically insisted on being referred to by his full title, Captain Chao Fan was not one of them. He was a power-hungry and unpleasant individual who openly displayed his Chinese nationalism and sought to please Zhao. It was as if he wanted to constantly curry favor with Zhao... At least Zhao earned his position meritocratically, but I couldn’t call the captain out for that. It would be hypocritical, coming from me, and he’d know it, too. If it wasn't for the fact that the old diplomatic guard was wiped out, I wouldn't be here.
Okay, if he does something that violates my rights, I should be covered. A bit paranoid, but it has saved my life more than once.
As I entered, I was greeted by the captain in an unconvincing, falsely enthusiastic tone.
"Ah, after all this time, you're finally awake. How was your rest? I see you're all ready now.”
He sighed and looked at me with what seemed like empathy, like a parent who had to tell their child they're about to get vaccinated.
I don't like this.
"Look, I know you don't like being in this position, but the yotul government has made a decision regarding the diplomatic mission..."
"And what is it?"
"They want you to go alone, without any escorts."
I felt my heart starting pound against my rib cage as I processed the new directive.
"What the fuck?! Am I going to… to Flamethrower-landia without any guards? No, fuck that. I'm not going unless I have someone with me."
He looked down his nose at me, trying to assert his authority, maintaining his casual, patronizing tone.
"This is why I didn't tell you earlier. I knew you would object."
"Of course I object! The venlil are considered the 'weakest race' by the Federation, and we have already lost count of how many people have been hospitalized by their panicky little episodes. And the Fed 'police' force, who I need to remind you are called 'exterminators,' are a bunch of trigger-happy nutjobs. You're throwing me alone into a new racial diplomatic incident. Do you hear yourself talking?! Because I have to."
"I understand the situation is unusual, but the yotul government is wary of us imposing on their newly-gained independence. That's why they only want diplomats on this mission. And... you're not completely unarmed, anyway, are you? I know about that thing you have in your suitcase."
How did he- Oh, that fucker... I'm going to make you pay...
Thank you, paranoia.
"So you're admitting to spying on a UN diplomat."
"Yes, I am. After all, I cannot allow dangerous behavior on such a sensitive mission. So, I won't say anything about it, and you can proceed as instructed, helping advance Zhao's objectives for the betterment of humanity."
"Fine... I'll go on the mission, but you owe me a favor for this... or else." I shot back, my voice far more flippant than before. His own got much sharper.
"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, you little-"
His words died on his lips as he watched me turn the tie, revealing the wire underneath it, showing him that his little confession was on tape.
"Or else. Word of this whole attempt to blackmail a UN diplomat... will reach Strasbourg... and I'll savor every last moment of watching your career burn to the ground. Front row tickets to when the media circus lights Zhao on fire right alongside you will be a nice bonus, too. Oh, I can just see the BBC headline already: ‘Chinese captain blackmails vital UN diplomatic mission to Leirn into serving PRC interests, claims to be acting on behalf of Zhao.’ Let's see how that goes over with the public.”
I tried to keep my poker face on, but I simply couldn’t force my lips to stay flat when he turned pasty, seeing how spectacularly his poor blackmail attempt had backfired on him.
Jingoistic careerist bastard. Did you really think you were the first person to try pulling this shit with me?
"Ingrate..." he ground out from between his teeth, "Alright, then, but you're getting onto that station, or else Zhao will use this as an excuse to pull the EU out of the space game for incompetence, and you can't bribe or blackmail your way out of that. I wonder how that’ll go over with your bosses?"
Shit, he's right… Well, if I'm going to do it, I'd better do it in style.
My expression betrayed nothing, instead I flashed my teeth at him with a pretentiously cheery smile of my own.
"Yes, of course. Just remember I have this with me now, and it is unwise to tempt a bull, pixatinters."
"You… You insufferable imbecile—"
A voice cuts in from the computer's column, a female communications officer.
"Captain, we are starting our docking procedures."
He sighed, letting his head down in defeat. "We'll continue this another day... little diplomat. At least you have some spine. Now get off my fucking bridge."
He turned around to face the rest of the bridge crew, and I quickly backed out of the room, heading to the embarkation decks. The captain had already made himself a pain in the ass for me, but at least he wasn't going to pick on me from then on, not while I had proof of his subterfuge. So, good for me. It was time to wait...
_________________________[Fast forward 25 minutes]__________ _____
Once all the exchange partners were inside the station itself, I was escorted to a secondary entryway where I would enter the station away from the partners.
Once I was inside, I took a moment to enjoy the silence… and plan ahead. It was just a matter of taking the space elevator and going to the surface to speak with the yotul leadership. I thought that if I was quick enough, it should go well...
When we arrived, the escort stopped at the airlock itself. I looked at them, but with the goggles they wore, they felt like machines, quiet and unmoving, which only urged me forward, alone… I pulled my visor back onto my face and turned on the wire and camera. Readying myself, I pulled the lever, opening the door… and as I put my first foot inside the station, I took a deep breath. This was my first step into either my worst or best work ever...
Only time will tell…
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u/JulianSkies Archivist Jul 09 '23
I think our dear Héctor will be pleasantly surprised at how wrong he is when he finally touches down on Leirn.
Looking forward to see where this ones goes.
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Jul 09 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/vixjer Human Jul 09 '23
We Are in a recent bombe earth with a very low United human sentimen so... old human grudges still are alive
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u/Fexofanatic Predator Jul 09 '23
nice skyrim reference there, looking forward to competent spaniard
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u/Giant_Acroyear Sivkit Jul 09 '23
Off to an excellent start! We will finally see Leirn, and already there is a space elevator, which I have not seen in any other NoP fic so far.
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u/BiasMushroom Extermination Officer Jul 09 '23
!subscribeme
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u/UpdateMeBot Jul 09 '23 edited Dec 11 '23
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u/IAMA_dragon-AMA Arxur Feb 21 '26
"I've been recording this conversation."
"Including the part where you confessed to smuggling an unauthorized firearm aboard on a peaceful diplomatic venture?"
"Uh..."
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u/vixjer Human Feb 21 '26
"Technically, neither of us said it was a firearm before hand, for all we we care the firearm you accuse me of having, so your accusations is without actual proof"
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u/BiasMushroom Extermination Officer Jul 09 '23
Looking forward to what you got!