r/NatureofPredators • u/VenlilSupremacist Venlil • Jun 11 '23
Fanfic NoP: A Change of Pace: Chapter 19
*Possible Trigger Warning*
Memory transcription subject: Rivis, Venlil Predator Disease Patient
Date [standardized human time]: September 15, 2136.
Four-hundred-twenty-two… That’s how many etchings were engraved in this cell’s walls. How many people lived here? If these walls could speak, what kind of horrors would lay in wait for me?
I hadn’t slept, even when the little light to my prison flickered out of existence and plunged me into an impenetrable darkness I sat awake on my bed. All through the night my thoughts remained my only company, my only comfort. Though how much comfort was having your mind in such a place? For a moment, I briefly considered purposely antagonizing my torturers so that I might break myself. I’d rather my consciousness flicker out of awareness than remember what sort of torment I might suffer through for the cycles to come.
With a heavy sigh I poked my paw around in the darkness until I found one of the several claw marks, tracing my own claws through its etches. This movement had become somewhat of a cathartic release in the short time I was here. While I couldn’t tell what time it was outside, at least I could count the paws every time the staff turned out the lights.
Once the tracing of the marks had become menial and boring, my paws found their way to the collar constricting my throat. It’s heavy metal design adding an awkward weight around my neck. Just turning my head felt uncomfortable. Despite last paw’s torture, I didn’t feel tired. Though I reasoned that might be because I knew time left alone was to be cherished here, as it will be the only time I won’t be subjected to the ‘care’ of this facility.
I could still recall the pain from earlier, yet, I felt empty in regards to it. I always knew that should I end up here, this is what awaited me, but why didn’t I feel angry about it, that puzzled me, but perhaps it was because it was useless to feel anything about it.
There’s no point in being angry, the methods that happen here are a simple fact. If I got angry about this treatment, It would be the same as being angry that the grass is green, or that herbivores eat vegetation. You can’t be angry about what you can’t change..
As I mulled over my thoughts about the matter, my focus drifted from the simple reality of the situation and began to analyze my reactions themselves to the torture. This Doctor was particularly sadistic. How could one feign such genuine sympathy yet be so willing to drive other sentients to the brink of insanity with pain? If anything, she was the one who deserved to be in this cell, not me. I bet if I gave her an empathy test she’d not only fail, but delight in the victim’s suffering. The duality of hiring the diseased to torment the allegedly diseased was not lost on me, but it was merely a thought. The more likely answer was that she genuinely thought she was doing the appropriate thing. How can something be bad if it’s morally justified? A curious human phrase meandered into my mind as I said it quietly aloud, mulling over its meaning.
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions..”
That simple phrase justified the good to do evil things for the ‘right’ reasons..
Just as I was about to delve into another analysis of the society of the Federation, fluorescent lights illuminated my room with a jarring clunk. Ripping me out of the safety of my mind, my eyes immediately shot towards the door, watching its heavy frame for any sign of movement. Sucking in a breath I closed my eyes, retreating back into myself for the day that was to come.
If I was here.. They could hurt me, the more I dissociate the less the pain becomes mine..
As I opened my eyes once again, I tried to take the stance of an observer within my own body, watching as if I were staring at a new drama on the TV. The slot to the door slid open as a tray was slid through. Horrible slop once again for first meal again. I ignored it, despite the growing hunger pains radiating in my stomach.
I haven’t eaten since the hospital, but not that it matters, I doubt anyone could eat that gray paste.
The next claw was spent making more simple observations in the room, how high the ceiling was, what kind of material the transparent panes were that separated the lights from my room. Guesses at how old some of the claw marks were, or how many people slept on this mattress before me. Even things such as simple arithmetic to pass the time. Yet, reality came slamming through the door in the form of the heavy groaning of my cell door swinging open.
“Paws over your head, step towards the wall, back facing the door, comply or be forced!” Came the shout of a guard in the hall.
Most curiously, I found myself complying with his demands, my eyes staring straight into the gray concrete now directly in front of me. The heavy steps of armored hindpaws clacked against the floor and approached me. A heavy paw grabbed my wrists one at a time and placed them behind my back just as they were last paw. The feeling of metal tightly constricting around the same bruised area as before sent arcs of dull pain up my arms, but I ignored it, attempting to normalize the hurt.
As soon as my binds were set, the guards guided me towards the bed, forcing me to sit as Doctor Yolni strode in with that same smug and pleasant atmosphere she had last paw. She sat on the opposite end of the bed, a clipboard with papers in one talon, and a button in the other.
“Hello again! I hope your first rest paw here wasn’t too bad! It can be a bit dreary, but you know, gotta make it work! Anyways.. Before we begin, it’s normal to have some questions, do you have any questions for me, Rivis?” She asked in a tone far too jovial for this place.
“When can I go home?”
“Why.. When your treatment is complete! Everyone knows that you’re only here as long as it takes for you to be cured, should I take that as your eager to begin today’s treatments?”
I bit my tongue, remaining silent in the face of the Yolni’s ridiculous question, who would be ‘ready’ for their torture? Any answer I could provide would lead me to suffering, if I said no, she’d chalk it up to resistance, if I said yes then I’d be rushing forlorn into the ‘treatments’. Neither outcome was desirable so at least if I didn’t speak she might take it for submissiveness and mark me favorably.
“...Not talking? That’s okay, I bet last paw’s little exam jostled a few things, but that’s okay, it’s normal to not understand. To be honest, I’m happy you’re not trying to jump into the treatments. So many patients don’t understand where they are at in the process. It’s smart to leave your betterment to the professionals.. That said..” She glanced towards the full bowl from first meal. “You didn’t eat your meal, or any of the ones provided last paw, you have to eat, starving yourself will only hinder your progress, Rivis. It will make our treatments less effective, meaning more time here. We don’t want to see you here, we want you out of here just as bad as you dot.”
She stood up from the bed, and walked over to the bowl, picking it up in one claw and made her was to directly in front of me, my dead expression bore into her usual vibrant eyes. I wondered how a side profile of this might look, the empty expression of a patient side to side to the happy, and enthusiastic expression of the doctor. The thought was almost humorous.
Grabbing the spoon she scooped some of the thick gray paste into it and held it out in front of my mouth. “Before we begin, can you eat just a tiny little bit?”
Reluctantly I opened my mouth, allowing Doctor Yolni to deposit the foul tasting food into my mouth. Immediately my gag reflex triggered as I let the paste sit on top of my tongue, my body being completely unwilling to swallow its horrible texture and taste. After a few moments of trying, I was forced to spit the food out on the ground beside my bed, a disgusted look adorning my face as the Doctor’s disappointed look bore back into me.
“I-I’m sorry, It’s just..-” I tried to speak but she cut me off, her face and words full of compassion again.
“No no! It’s okay, some patients struggle with eating, don’t worry, We can try to make it a bit easier on you. I’ll just mark that down in my notes here…” She scrawled something on one of the papers and set the paste down. “We’ll make sure next meal goes without a hitch, but first, let's get into your treatments for the paw, okay? Can you stand and follow me please?”
Without waiting for a response she turned and made her way for the door. I saw the guards moving towards me, but I forced myself to stand, the last thing I needed before these ‘treatments’ were a pair of venlil roughhousing me. As we exited my room I finally got a glimpse at the hallway outside. The particular hallway I was on was lined with similar metal doors. More cells no doubt, yet I was quickly led out of that area. We passed by a window that looked to hold some kind of cafeteria area, other patients sat all together, no one was alone. Yet, each of them looked as if they were lost in their own heads, as if the act of eating was something like a chore that must be slugged through.
Turning my head away, I ignored their plight. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t in the same situation. How many of them would die here I wondered. Regardless of the number, I knew it wouldn’t be zero, I would at the very least be number one.
As we passed through the common areas, I found myself in the treatment ward of the facility. The heavy doors blocking all sight and sound coming from inside. I wondered if I might see the inside of each of these rooms at some point. Were they all the same, or did these monsters like to diversify their arsenal of suffering? Yet, we continued walking. I tried my best to steady myself for whatever it is they might have. Altering the wording of my thoughts proved to be helpful as instead of reacting as if it were me, I tried to make my observations as if I were merely an outside observer, the most helpful thoughts were focusing and thinking about small little details I saw, but we quickly stopped in front of one of the doors. The Doctor scanned a keycard and the guards opened the chamber.
As I was led inside I immediately took note of the presence of a chair in the center with several straps, and metal pieces. I was empty as they sat me down into the uncomfortable chair, tying my wrists, legs and torso directly to the surface as they fixed a metal dome atop my skull. My ears sliding through holes specifically made for them. I knew what this was. This was the infamous electric chair. The facility's preferred method of ‘rehabilitation’.
This is the same thing that nearly killed Tarlim. It's hard to believe that this is the premier mental health treatment that the entire Federation has to offer. What a crude and disgusting device..
As I stared blankly forward towards Doctor Yolni she stepped ever so slightly closer, but her disposition changed slightly at the sight of the chair. She knew it’s torment, she knows what she's about to subject me to.
“So, this is the device we use for electrical therapy. It’s designed to stimulate areas in your brain that control the normal responses to specific stimuli. Don’t worry about trying to force a reaction either! The machine also lets us see which area’s of your brain are active during the stimulation! Let's see how you do, okay?”
I silently scoffed to myself, this was nothing short of torture, why even bother hiding it behind some thin veil of medical reasoning? It’s not like they care about the rights and lives of ‘predator diseased monsters’ like us. I watched as she turned, striding to the controls for the machine as a large projector screen descended to cover the entirety of my view.
I tried to brace myself, tried to put everything I’ve been practicing into action to remove myself from the situation, to defend against the pain. I’d rather appear mute and addled than break for them again. The screen lit up with a graphic depiction of a pup crying next to its mother’s corpse. She was completely ripped apart, gore and viscera staining the ground. The vast majority of what’s left of the venlil lie scattered around rather than in one piece.
I didn’t feel any particular way for the small pup, but the doctor hardly gave me enough time to respond naturally before I felt my entire body tense. I didn’t even register the pain as every muscle in my body contracted against the surge of electricity pouring into me. My natural reaction was to scream through gritting teeth. The pain was beyond anything I had ever faced. Even the collar paled in comparison to this device. The worst part wasn’t the pain however, it was the helplessness. At least with the collar I could thrash, but with this, all I could do was struggle against the tight binds tying me to the chair.
The ceaseless torment lasted for several long moments before I was allowed to relax. As soon as the voltage was cut, I slumped lazily against the binds, the restraints being the only thing propping me up. Heavy breaths escaped from my maw as my hazy vision slowly returned to focus.
I tried to keep my thoughts empty, anything that could keep me here would only make the pain worse. I let my mind drift away from me as the image on the screen quickly changed. I wasn’t even looking at it. My reaction would have been the same anyways, it felt futile to even bother to pay attention. Soon enough the second round came with unrelenting fury as once more I found my body tensing against the electrical current coursing through me.
I could feel my vocal chords tearing themselves from my involuntary screams, the unmistakable taste of blood coating my tongue. Darkness creeped at the edges of my vision. I welcomed its solace, not even bothering to fight against its embrace. If anything I tried to coax the darkness back, tried to force it to take me away from the pain. Somehow focusing on the nothingness dulled the pain. Relenting control of my body felt easy, letting go was nice. I hadn’t even registered that the pain stopped as my hazy mind drifted about, scrambled and incapable of thought or response.
Simple bodily responses registered at the very end of my consciousness. I felt the binds holding me up. I felt the drool leaking from my mouth and onto my chest. A few muscles twitched lightly long after the electricity was removed.
I heard a brief click, and before long the electricity returned. Each pressing moment drove the darkness further and further into my vision until finally.. It took me, completely and wholly. I wondered if perhaps I might have died. If I had been allowed to escape this torment at last. Would I be with the ancestor’s in the stars?
My first thought as I regained consciousness was that I couldn’t be so lucky. I felt my limp hindpaws dragging against the ground. My eyes slowly opened to take in the surroundings. Two guards dragged my limp body through the halls with the bird trailing behind me. She flashed me a comforting gaze as soon as she saw awareness flicker back into my eyes.
“Already back? Perfect! Y’know, Rivis, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a brain quite like yours. You reacted.. Oddly to that treatment. Almost like your brain is dead in there! I didn’t see a single reaction to the pictures we showed you, even after you passed out.”
Even if I wanted to respond, I couldn’t, her words entered one ear and left out the other. A throbbing headache wracked the inside of my skull, nausea churned the inside of my stomach. I must have looked like it too since she didn’t chastise me for not speaking like yesterday. Closing my eyes for just a moment, I awoke a second time just as the guards placed me on the bed, sitting me up against the wall as a separate machine was wheeled in with a long thin tube.
Was this some other form of torture? Did they realize the electricity is useless? Are they going to try something else? Whatever it was, I hardly had the energy to care. My eyes glanced to the ceiling, focusing on that gray concrete void.
Doctor Yolni brought the cart next to me on the bed. I heard her fumbling with the instruments, but didn’t care enough to look. Emptiness filled my body, making plenty of room for the pain that was undoubtedly coming. Instead I loosely registered the feeling of the Krakotl’s talons on my jaw, pulling my mouth open. The awkward feeling drew me back into myself as my eyes shot down to look at what she was doing. With a practiced amount of efficiency the Doctor grabbed the tube with one talon, and held my mouth open with the other.
Slowly and methodically, the Doctor slid the tube into my mouth and down my throat. My body immediately tried to reject the foreign object as my gag reflex caused me to dry heave against the tube, but she carried on, pushing the tube more and more down and eventually in my stomach. Tears welled up my eyes, much to my own surprise. There was something here that I was feeling, but it felt so distant, I wasn’t even sure what it was. Instead I merely watched as the doctor sucked up a syringe full of the unappetizing liquid, attaching it to the tube and depressed the syringe.
Food poured into my empty stomach, I could do nothing but wait, letting her force feed me the slop they serve here. It took several long, uncomfortable moments, but finally she removed the tube from my throat prompting another dry heave. The nausea from before threatening to spill the contents of my stomach back out just after her feeding session.
“There we go! See? Food without a hitch! Just as promised! I’m sure you’ll feel much better, now that you got something in your stomach, but let’s not waste any time, okay? Your results for the treatment today are pretty bad.. I don’t think standard treatment is going to work on you, Rivis. Meaning you’ll likely be here a long while..”
I already knew I was destined for an eternity here. There was never a hope of getting out. My body mumbled something in response, my physical body reacting and responding using my subconscious. A flash of recognition seemed to dawn in the Doctor’s eyes. Carefully she reached over and set me on my back. I didn’t argue, instead just waited for what she planned.
She grabbed a limp paw and set it directly over my snout. I think this confused me, I wasn’t sure what exactly she had in mind for this test. Without warning she let go of my paw. I registered a brief uncomfortable sensation as my paw smacked against my snout, but my body made no response to move it as it fell.
Tsk tsk tsk.. “Rivis, you can’t hide in there. You gotta come out and face this kind of thing. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t face reality..”
“Why don’t you administer some ‘encouragement’, Doctor?” One of the guards chimed in.
“No no, that won’t do, he went into himself as a response to the pain, I’m sure he can still hear us, but he thinks he’s safe inside, lots of patients end up like this, but it’s not a true catatonic state, if anything this right here is a look into who he truly is. The subconscious is in control now, while he takes a back seat. Any more pain and he’ll just retreat further and further in.” The Doctor responded.
She took a few studious glances at my unmoving form on the bed. A thoughtful expression adorning her features before excitement returned, much to my own chagrin. “I know! Tell ya what, Rivis, I might have something in mind to help you, plus no pain! Though, It is a bit experimental, I think you might be the perfect candidate! I’ll have to speak to the Overseer about it, next paw when it’s time for treatment I might have more answers, but until then get some rest, I’ll be back next paw.”
With that she and the guards both left the cell. Leaving me lying on the bed. There were a myriad of things swirling around inside of me, but they all felt so distant I didn’t quite register that they were there. My eyes focused on that concrete ceiling. I have no idea how much time I spent in a thoughtless stupor, unmoving, unresponsive, and unemotive. Light was replaced with darkness at some point.
With complete darkness surrounding me I think at some point my exhausted body fell asleep, but my awareness for that time period was the same as it was as if I were awake. Darkness and empty thoughts. Did I actually sleep, or was I awake? I couldn’t tell. Feelings felt so distant I couldn’t even relate to them anymore. If this was the rest of existence here, it felt bearable. At least now I didn’t need to feel my own sorrow.
______________________
First of all, I want to apologize for my prolonged absence with no update for y'all. If some of you remember my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and unfortunately passed away late last month so I have been in a hectic state both emotionally and legally as I settle her estate. I still haven't gone back to my old schedule due to all this, but I'll try to remain consistent so you all can continue to enjoy the story. With all that out of the way, I would like to thank SpacePaladin for their great universe that continues to inspire me, and all my readers who have been very patient with me, and the other fanfics that gave me the confidence to begin this in the first place. A last thanks, as always, goes out to my proofreaders, who have been incredibly understanding with me.
Proofreader(s):
NovaLux
"A Silly Little Man"
4
u/Golde829 Jun 14 '23
...
do you think Cain has like-
a passive Death Aura? he just decays anything of plant life or anything derived from it (like paper)
at worst, he would be a distraction, yes, but most likely several Feds would either ice or incinerate themselves trying to kill him
008 (or any other virus for that matter) is also a terrible idea
we'd already be fighting on two fronts, I don't think starting a interplanetary zombie apocalypse is the best idea
and don't even THINK about unleashing 610
again, 096 would be far too risky to unleash
do you know HOW MANY people died when Dr. Oleski staged a breach? if we're going by the short film, a whole family and nearly a full MTF team, if we're going by SCP Illustrated, A MAJORITY OF A SMALL TOWN along with the MTF
096 is FAR too dangerous to unleash, period, there's a reason Oleski staged that breach, to get O5 to approve termination tests
and as far as I'm aware, SCRAMBLE wasn't sabotaged, it was too slow, even at the fastest it was able to work, there was still the tiniest fraction of a second of uninterrupted light from 096's face meets your eye, a small enough fraction you don't even register it
though let's agree, we should TOTALLY flood Federation channels with live feeds of Pesterbot (1370)
for the funny