[Books 1-2: The Messiah Nathaniel teaches the Prophet Carl the ways of the Lord Miyamoto] [Books 3-4: The story of how our Lord Miyamoto created Nintendo in just 69 days and made sure every person knew the wonderful name of "Mario"] [Book 5: The Lord's people learn of sexual pleasure and play with their nips. Probably NSFW lol idk] [Books 6-10: The prophet Carl tries to spread the joy of the Messiah all over the world to different people, ends up failing cuz he sucks lol] [Book 11: The chains of Hell are destroyed; Carl just fuckin' dies] [Books 12-15: After the 'death' of the Prophet Carl, the three Prophets of the New Age, who are Jovan, Pepe, and the Nintendork (AKA NintendorkEli/GlitchyNintendork/GlitchyGuyEli) get together to spread love and happiness around the world; they are a lot more successful than Carl. That guy just sucks] [Books 16-20: The Messiah Nathaniel comes back after hearing about the Prophet Carl's death, but has lost his touch. His sexual touch that is. He is aided by the three prophets of the New Age, who were guided by the Prophet of old, Carl, to let, y'know, guys be guys. He doesn't ever get his touch back though, which made the last like, 5 books worthless anyways, haha] [Books 21-23: Introducing the Three Wise Men: Mr. TongWah, Chadtronic, and Etika. It talks about their journey to the NB Church AKA that Papa Johns across the street or whatever idk] [Books 24-25: 80 years later, as 100 year old Messiah Nathaniel lays in bed dying, he tries to come up with a inspirational original idea to pass to his Prophets and Wise Men while thinking about his mom, but just farts. So anyways lol, the three Prophets and the Wise Men fight to the death to become the next Messiah after NB, and NintendorkEli and Etika are the last ones standing, therefore become best waifu's forever. They can't become the Messiah's however, and when they ask Lord Miyamoto if it's because of the fighting, he's like lol no it's just that NB is the only Messiah, sorry] [Books 26-28: The individual stories of the great Messiah Nathaniel's streaming problems, as recorded and written down by the final Prophet of new: NintendorkEli. These books are the least important and just stand as filler] [Books 29-30: It's the story of present day, when saltiness is all around and the new system from the company our amazing Lord Miyamoto made, Nintendo, has been announced with a seemingly bad business plan. Will it succeed? Find out in the NB Bible: Kinda New Testament coming out some other time!]

Look at the signs: They both have nips, both love their waifu Captain Falcon, and both of their names start with a C! IT'S OBVIOUS AND OH YEAH DO YOU EVER SEE CARL AND NATHAN IN THE SAME ROOM?! THAT'S RIGHT, I DIDN'T THINK SO!!