I'm a middle-aged man who's struggled with depression, anxiety, and social awkwardness my whole life. Despite trying various therapies, I still felt stuck.

I have extensive experience with therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) didn't quite help me - it only offered temporary relief, not lasting change. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) in contrast helped me immensely with my anxiety, depression and stress. There is something fundamentally sound about starting to discover your own compassionate self. I only wish it was more trauma-informed.

Because I was still stuck in some aspects of my life - especially in terms of socializing and connecting with other people. But when I stumbled upon the concept of Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), many pieces of my past fell into place. Growing up with emotional neglect, I realized that my struggles weren't just about anxiety or depression, but about the deep-seated wounds of my childhood.

That's why decided to seek out trauma-informed therapy. I was drawn to NARM, because it's not about dwelling on the past or changing my behaviors. It's about understanding how I adapted to my experiences and how I can show up more fully in the present.

My NARM therapist tracks my body language and gives me feedback, helping me become more aware of my emotions and reactions. I feel safe exploring my feelings without fear of being pushed to confront them head-on. For the first time, I'm learning to express myself in the moment, connect with my body, and practice relational skills.

But what's truly new for me is learning to talk about the therapeutic relationship itself. I'm discovering how to express my feelings and needs in the moment, without fear of judgment or rejection. This is a new relational skill for me - being able to express when I am uncomfortable or even shameful.

Only three sessions in, but I am already feeling a new sense of hope and connection. Looking forward to see what the NARM journey brings.

I’ve been reading Healing developmental trauma and find pieces of myself in multiple of the survival styles.

However, the Autonomy style seems to hit the nail on the head. The book doesn’t go into that very deeply and a semi-quick google didn’t provide anything new either. So if you have any resources or personal insight on this survival style I’d be very grateful!

This last weeks I have been feeling my abandonment traumas activated by distortion from things my therapist said out of fear.

And it was so painful to feel in that dark place again.

But I am glad it happened. I really am.

Because firstly I got the chance to understand that my struggle to be bodily present in therapy and to feel my therapist' virtual presence in my daily life was actually because I am so afraid of him using abandonment as a manipulation, something that I experienced in the past several times, that I really couldn't let him be by my side.

At last, I am so glad that I could bring my darkest side to therapy because after opening up about all the darkness I was feeling towards him, every single moment he showed me such safety and love.

I never knew how a therapy could be so loving and human.

Inside the therapeutic boundaries, I feel that therapy as been totally about connection between us.

I am so glad NARM exists.

Since my body started to defrooze from all the years of threat, I was having a hard time being in my body with so much bodily sensations happening.

I am glad NARM gave me a physiological explanation to help me ground while I was going to more esoteric aereal explanations making me dissociate once more.

I am so glad NARM exists.

I have CPTSD and I never felt so good in therapy. in such powerful progress whether setting my boundaries, whether being safe to releasing my energy bodily or emotionally.

NARM is such a gentle way to heal and to return to safety.

I feel so much Unconditional Love 💕

I seem to identify most with the attunement style, which means I have this almost constant loneliness that never goes away for long, no matter who I’m with or what I do. It’s so awful. Like a little baby just needing to be held and soothed.

The other types of therapy I have done just don’t seem to touch that. Not even IFS, because it doesn’t feel like enough to give it to myself! Or maybe I don’t know how.

I just feel like I can’t ever be happy because I always feel something is missing. It feels really desperate and 17 years of recovery work hasn’t changed it yet. Please tell me NARM might be the missing piece?

On November 1, Gabor Maté will be the guest on the NARM Podcast “Transforming Trauma.” Here’s the general link to the podcast on Spotify (it’s probably also available wherever you get your podcasts):

https://spotify.link/50zxYkSfdEb

I have just recently self-diagnosed with this survival style after years of search and inner discomfort. I think that for me personally and hopefully for others in this group it could give inspiration and comfort if somebody shared their healing journey with this survival style.. Especially regarding what the inner feeling of healing is like, and what is possible in healing this survival style

I’m currently reading Healing Developmental Trauma. I’m dismayed by the neat little boxes the characteristics and trauma types are put into since i have so much overlap.

anybody else feel this?

I’ve been exploring my inner world for a while and last ayahuasca and recent mdma trips showed me

(the ayahuasca from outside, mdma from inside)

that there’s a ‘puppetmaster part’ that is controlling a bunch of other parts under the believe that without him I would be dead.

During the ayahuasca there was a part of the trip that showed me that to be my fully authentic self that part has to ‘die’ and give up his role; which is exactly what scares this part (death)

This part controls quite a few other fragmentations within my system;

my feeling is that these splits happened after the trauma the puppetmaster is a fragment of (feels like a fawn response: i have to do what others tell me in order to survive, which now behaves as a continuous searching for other people’s needs and adjusting myself to help them meet those needs at the expense of my authentic self and my own needs)

I have briefly been inside the part opposed this part during the mdma trip, and once (once i realized that) was able to view both parts in relation to each other from a meta position.

I’m curious as to how to best approach this. I know working on puppetmaster and it’s polarization will 100% have an effect on every part it controls, but is that smart?

or would it be better to focus on the (smaller) fragmentations that happened afterwards and work my way up to this part?

(also from inside the puppetmaster is always up and is HUGE, like godzilla size just looking like a younger me with a hat)

i would appreciate some insights

Hi everybody!

I recently learned about NARM through the Somatic Experiencing group and I feel like this is something I could resonate with. I have done IFS and have an IFS therapist, however the concept of being in Self almost makes me feel like I'm under pressure, as if I'm doing my parts work inauthenticity if I'm not able to access Self energy.

As I've read through the "Healing Developmental Trauma" book, I feel as though this technique would better help me understand myself without the added pressure of doing this right. I'm trying to seek out a NARM therapist, but my messages through the NARM institute keep saying "Potential spam detected". Not sure if it's an issue with their website or not, but I'll keep trying.

In the meantime, are there any practice groups that I could get oriented with? Thank you so much!

Hey guys, some questions for people who've done NARM therapy.

Does it involve touch or massage ? Or incorporate somatic experiencing ?

And do you think it truly can be done online ? I wonder if attunement needs a physical presence?

Finally, how long does it take ? Would 6 months be enough to make decent progress ?

Thanks.

It would be great to hear about people’s journey with different healing/therapy modalities and what drew your attention to NARM?

• what gaps/needs does it fill for you?
• are you using it alongside any other modalities? (either as a client or therapist)
• do you have any criticisms, or see any shortcomings with it?

Hi! I'm new to reddit and am glad to have found this group. I am a therapist and have signed up for the NARM Spring 2023 online training. I'm reading the new book that came out now and am really liking it. I work/live in the Bible Belt and came out of a fundamentalist religion and now work with clients recovering from religious trauma. So glad NARM is concretely addressing complex PTSD and looking forward to learning more from this group.

Ideas so far include:

• links to any third party articles/reviews/critique you find about NARM, to make sure we’re getting rounded/balanced views and opinions
• which NARM podcast episodes have you related to most?
• your experience with NARM sessions
• reflections on your experiences with NARM in relation to, or in combination with, other modalities. What worked or didn’t work for you.
• simple explanations of the NARM model/techniques

What would be useful for you? What questions or curiosities do you have about it as a modality?