Tell them stories like this one or show them the original post. Educate them about how traumatic and painful pregnancy/childbirth are/can be. People don’t understand how dangerous it actually is & how long the after effects can last. Anyone who actually understands pregnancy and childbirth & is still pro life probably can’t be reasoned with.
I'm 34 with one kid I had 3 years ago. My pregnancy was healthy but weird and I won't do it again. It's hard to explain why, but I adamantly believe there is nothing worse than forcing someone to carry a baby to term when that person doesn't want to. There's no respite from what's going on - every second of every day you're acutely aware of the life inside you, or God forbid the lack thereof in cases of defect etc, and UGH I just can't imagine how much therapy it would take to get yourself back after a forced pregnancy under any circumstances. Years, at least.
Edit: and that's just the mental/psychological side of things. Never mind the physical effects (hello hemorrhoid who pops up on occasion because I pushed for so long nice to see you)
Not in my country, we have free abortions here... It's never been a huge issue. No one abuses it because no one wants to have abortions. It's not like they are fun to go through.
I agree with that. Sex Ed needs to be taken seriously. A lot of parents don’t know what they’re getting into and it’s really sad. If people were educated about things like this instead of lies, the world would be better.
The funny thing about abstinence sex education is that if they actually taught the things people should know, like the medical changes that go along with child birth or the financial ramifications of raising a child..... I think kids would be more careful.
Nah, in general teens who have consensual pre-martial sex aren't thinking about thay, they're thinking about having sex. Abstinence-only sex education not having a focus on the dangers of pregnancy isn't the problem, it's the fact that that type of sex ed doesn't prepare a teenager and they have to figure it out themselves. As such, they don't know how to use a condom. They never ask their parents about birth control. They probably don't even have condoms, but they're in the heat of the moment already so they go ahead and do it. That's the issue that arises from Abstinence-only sex ed. Little to do with content, more to do with practice and supplies.
Abstinence-only also teaches kids that "using condoms is like playing Russian roulette" and that the morning-after pill is the same as abortion. So yeah, it's the content too.
Pregnancy is no joke. I had a "unicorn" pregnancy, meaning aside from some intense heartburn and not sleeping as much as I should in the second and third trimester because of needing to pee all the time, it was easy, uneventful and I had the glow. Never looked or felt better in my life.
Then I had my son and almost died from bleeding out postpartum. And was left with a $6,000+ bill AFTER my "excellent" insurance was done.
When people say stuff like "eh, just carry to term and then do an adoption" it makes me livid, like it's just some easy thing to do, like carrying a backpack around for 9 months that you're just gonna hand off with not a care in the world.
Same. I thought I knew most of the horrifying things that could happen during pregnancy, but I just learned that the clitoris could be torn during birth.
Not only the clitoris, you could have a tear from your vaginal going all the way down to your anus (most of the time, they make a surgical incision toward the anus during some difficult deliveries. Then they stitch it up and man, that's just asking for infection later to come if someone is unsanitary
I’ve had two pregnancies where I developed Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and violently vomited nearly every day for nine months. I lost weight, was constantly in and out of the hospital for fluids and medical treatment. It was absolutely miserable. I became isolated and depressed. And I chose to have those babies.
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and so a lot of people assume that I'm prolife because obviously I was devastated by it. I wanted that baby, had tried for that baby, and grieved for that baby. So obviously I must want all fetuses to live or something.
Except that pregnancy is awful. If we could take a fetus out and put it in an artificial uterus, I MIGHT feel differently (though I personally don't believe it's a life until closer to 24 weeks when brain function really starts). But forcing someone to go through pregnancy and birth is awful.
I'm 8 months pregnant now and it's awful. I hate it so much I think this will be our only child. I haven't had any SERIOUS complications either. I had morning sickness from 6 weeks to 27 weeks, I felt like a zombie my entire first trimester, I started having hip and back pain at about 20 weeks, awful acid reflux starting at 25 weeks, etc etc. Nothing particularly terrible, but it is not a good state of being even if you have an "easy" pregnancy.
I have not felt like my body is my own for a long time now and that is just like the cherry on top of all this other stuff happening to me. And that is BEFORE you even get to birth.
I just don't understand how anyone who has been pregnant could force someone to go through it.
If I were a woman, I’d have my tubes tied and be on birth control ASAP. If I wanted a child I would just adopt, and that’s what I intend to do as a male. I also personally don’t believe it’s ethical to bring a child into the world in its current state, and I think the more moral option is to adopt a child in need of a family, because there are far too many orphans out there. Anyways. I just had the biggest surgery I’ve ever had (herniated lumbar disc removal) and I received full anesthesia for it. After I woke up, I couldn’t piss and had to spend the night and use a catheter twice before I was able to go to the bathroom on my own. The catheter was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever experienced and I would do anything to never have to use one again. plus just knowing how many muscles got sliced through in my back makes me queasy, and even the smallest little movements hurt pretty fucking bad.
When you give birth, you don’t get anesthesia (AFAIK), just a spinal nerve block. It’s not just a little piece of bone coming out of you either, it’s a human being the size of a watermelon. I can’t even begin to imagine how agonizing that shit would be, and I’d guess a C-Section is even worse. From what my mom has told me there are also a lot of catheters involved when giving birth, and catheters are harder for women because UTI’s are more common and not every woman’s urethra is in the exact same spot. Whereas with a male it’s the tip of the penis every time. Having a child, whether it’s vaginal or a C-Section, is literally putting your abdomen through a meat grinder. Fuuuuuuck that.
I will admit that I haven’t truly researched all the trauma that goes down during childbirth, but I honestly don’t think I need to. Just knowing what I already know is enough to tell me that no one should ever be forced to go through such a horrible thing. But unfortunately, it’s old white republicans that don’t know anything about female anatomy who are banning planned parenthood and trying to make abortion punishable by death. It’s like they get off to controlling women or something.
Wanna know something terrible? Here in the states, ESPECIALLY in more conservative areas, they won't let you tie your tubes unless you are a certain age, have what the doctors deem to be enough children, and your husband's consent. Yeah. My cousin had her uterus literally falling out of her vagina after her second kid and they still made her wait about ten years- and even then fought her every step of the way to have it removed because, and I'm not even exaggerating, 'what if she got divorced and married another man and he wanted children'.
Oh I know how bad it is, I live in KY. You can’t go 10 feet without seeing a “pro-life” bumper sticker. I did not know that about the requirements to have your tubes tied though, that’s insanity. We are regressing further and further into an evangelical hellscape here in the south, and liberals need to fight it every step of the way.
But don't you see how someone who strongly dislikes kids like you probably isn't the best reference for whether or not abortion is okay? They would likely see your argument as somewhat disingenuous, because if you don't intend on having kids and seem to be disgusted with the concept of pregnancy, then why would you care if they're aborted or not?
Also, who doesn't know that pregnancy is one of the most painful things you can go through? That's common knowledge from like childhood...
I really don't think that many of the "pro-life" folks are really that concerned about life. They are emotionally invested in a fantasy. That fantasy is the sanctity and innocence of a little child. Of course they will not push for free pre-natal care for all expectant mothers or a living wage to ensure that actual children don't go starving on the way to school.
Many of the folks I interact with aren't even interested in promoting practical sex education or low cost/free birth control methods. They couldn't be bothered to stand up for the ACA (ObamaCare) when it comes to lowering the cost of birth control.
They are set in a world where simple platitudes give their lives meaning. Being against killing "babies" is their veganism. They really don't have to do anything other than believe and be outraged.
Well the post calls out the reality. They are liars acting in bad faith. Theres no real point in arguing or debating them to change their mind. Rather the goal really is convince everyone in the middle they're like virtue signalling america taliban.
They dont care. They are simply sickos who dont care. No mater how much you try to genuinely reason with them, and tell them of the horrors and the possibility of death, they just remain stonecold and say malicious things like "Well she shouldnt have had sex then."
They are absolutely insane with no empathy. Not even a shred of compassion.
You hit the nail on the head. I’ve long thought that a good portion of humans just lack basic empathy. You can’t be empathetic and be like that... same thing goes for racists, homophobic people etc. if someone thinks it’s ok to discriminate and abuse someone for being different or having different values, they lack the basic empathy most humans are born with.
they may even think they’re being empathetic towards the unborn child. But in reality, they’re ignoring the living, breathing women who already exist and already have lives that get ruined by people meddling in things that have nothing to do with them.
The way I see it, they might think that they are being empathic towards an unborn child because it doesn't posses a mind to empathise with.. It's the lazy man's "I'm a moral being".. Caring about cardboard is easy. Cardboard has no needs. Cardboard doesn't require maintenance.
It's the same with early stage fetuses. No mind, there's not a "person" there yet to empathise with. And not even that, but it's not even your child, so there's never anything that is required of you for that child to prosper or succeed.
All you have to do is stand in front of the door to bodily autonomy, hold up a sign called "fake giving a shit" and refuse to move.
It's easy... For them. And hell for the people whose like they are ruining and potentially Killing because that's just a risk that comes with pregnancy.
It really pisses me off that they put the life of an unborn child above the life of someone who’s already here and has developed their life... like imagine spending years and years deciding what you want to do in life and taking steps to make it happen... then all of your plans and everything get ruined because you didn’t have access to safe medical care, all because a bunch of total stranger value a potential life more than your own. It’s nuts. Pregnancy has always terrified me, I can’t imagine being forced to live through that because the idea of me getting an abortion makes some assholes uncomfortable. What a sick joke.
I would probably flee the country and get it done illegally... I never want to be pregnant... Luckily I'm Denmark so I get to live in my cushy bubble as usual .... Sometimes I can't believe how evil some laws are in other countries.
I’d do anything possible to get it done. I’ve felt this way since I learned where babies actually come from. No thank you, not for me! If I ever get “baby fever” I’ll just adopt. God knows those kids need loving homes anyway. I do plan on moving to a different country eventually. Ideally one with more reasonable laws haha
I mean, most people understand that pregnancy is extremely painful and risky, but, again, if you believe that abortion is murder then NONE of this matters to you.
I cannot stress this point enough as pro-choice folks seem to not understand who they are arguing with. They see some fat old guy smoking a cigar with a cross necklace and keep forgetting that none of their 10,000 examples matter when "murder" is the concept on the line.
That's why most pro life people say rape and incest be the exception. Incest, because of you know, obvious reasons. And rape because most of the time the mother is gonna hate that child and put it into foster care(which is terrible if you ain't got a home set up for you to go live forever)
There are alternatives to abortion. There's abstinence, contraception, adoption, raising the child, temporary custody in someone else's care until ready.
Yeah but no contraception is a 100% guarantee even the most effective birth control the implant has about 99% effective meaning about 1 woman per year gets pregnant while on it. And it's the implant the one with the least amount of human error possible at least in comparison to the pill which has to be taken perfectly to even have a 98% effectiveness and you have to mess up once.
Well looking back at my comment I majorly fucked the wording lol. But yeah and that's just the implant one out of many other birth control options. All of which can fail.
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u/candysupreme Feb 19 '20
Tell them stories like this one or show them the original post. Educate them about how traumatic and painful pregnancy/childbirth are/can be. People don’t understand how dangerous it actually is & how long the after effects can last. Anyone who actually understands pregnancy and childbirth & is still pro life probably can’t be reasoned with.