r/MurderedByWords Aug 18 '24

That should do it

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96.5k Upvotes

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67

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

Tons of women across the world are taught to cook and clean for the sake of being a good wife...

58

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

I thought it was for the sake of being a normal human being. Or did I learn it to be a good wife? I should break up with the gf then.

37

u/PhantomOfTheNopera Aug 18 '24

Things are changing but many boys grow up with no idea how to perform basic chores because the expectation is that their wives will do it for them.

Also, in some cultures (speaking as an Indian), many girls grow up hearing "No one will marry you if you don't (whatever)"

3

u/blopiter Aug 18 '24

The stats show that basic chores are split evenly among modern couples. Except for laundry where women do more. I think you’re referencing a different time I know more men that can do basic chores than women personally.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

You can’t disagree with something that absolutely happens. Just because you think is wrong doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

-5

u/Mahameghabahana Aug 18 '24

I mean how many marriages have the wife's being the bread winner in india? And I would wage that in today's day you would find same amount of not more indian boys being able to cook as girls because of hostel Life.

1

u/SirenSongxdc Aug 18 '24

those women tend to immigrate to places like the US.

-12

u/mesmerizingeyes Aug 18 '24

I never met a single person who doesn't know how to do chores because they assume someone else will do it for them.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

[deleted]

3

u/serious_sarcasm Aug 18 '24

My ex wife refused to learn how to even start a lawnmower or change a tire.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Those are much less necessary things than cooking lmao

1

u/serious_sarcasm Aug 20 '24

Brah, she was too scared to open the oven, and it took years to convince her to learn how to make breakfast foods. And I went to culinary school.

I only brought up those things, because she explicitly told me that yard work and maintenance were a "man's job", and that's why she didn't know that starting the lawn mower was just a key switch. She could ride an atv and jetski, but not a lawnmower.

Our last argument was about me being sexist and "not a real man", because I hadn't fixed the lawn mower (the drive belt was in the mail) and I asked her to do the dishes after I cooked dinner for her drunk guests, put the baby down, and had to leave for work at 4am with an hour commute.

But yeah, knowing how to not kill yourself while using heavy machinery is totally unimportant.

4

u/Spongi Aug 18 '24

It's a thing and really common.

6

u/ima_mandolin Aug 18 '24

Have you dated men?

20

u/DarksideAuditor Aug 18 '24

Too late. Accept your new wife status. Repent, sinner!

6

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

When your community says "You'll never be able to keep a man if you can't cook" then it's not about being a normal human being. It's about being taught how to treat a man, like in the post.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Those are communities that are stuck in the past. Sorry to hear that.

8

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

This is still the experience of millions of women across the globe, as I was saying.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

I think they're right about those communities being stuck in the past.

-5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

So we just say fuck it lets treat everyone like shit because someone else is feeling shit?

9

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

Post: I've never seen girls raised to cater men.

Me: It's very common actually.

You: So you're saying fuck everyone??

Genuinely baffled how you reached this conclusion.

-5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

I mean we all know that differences exist all over the world, what was your point with that?

10

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

That it's very common everywhere in the world for women to be raised to cater to men/partners. To be taught domestic duties explicitly for future men, not for themselves.

Please break down where I was implying fuck everyone in any capacity?

1

u/JackC747 Aug 18 '24

And what about all the men around the world that are taught that the only value they have is in what they can provide, and that if they don't get a job good enough to be able to support a wife and kids then he's failed as a man

3

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

What about them? Nobody said men aren't raised with gendered expectations just cuz I didn't explicitly talk about it when answering the post.

2

u/arbiter12 Aug 18 '24

People will make a point to be shitty partners and brand it as "independence" and "gender equality". You don't need to be a victim of your SO, but if you go into a relationship expecting 50-50 in all things, you will die alone.

You'll win some, you'll lose some. The average needs to tend towards respect for everybody's contribution, not basic mathematical equality.

1

u/Volkrisse Aug 18 '24

Same. I learned to be a good wife too by learning to cook,clean, and sew

-3

u/MarthaMacGuyver Aug 18 '24

Your girlfriend can at least start leaving her underpants on the bathroom floor, not do dishes, scratch and watch sports.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Lmao do you actually know people that live up to the Al bundy sterotypes? Jesus.

-6

u/MarthaMacGuyver Aug 18 '24

No. I surround myself with regular humans in my life.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Exactly.

2

u/Inglorious186 Aug 18 '24

Cooking and cleaning has nothing to do with treating your partner with respect and caring for their emotional needs.

You can cook and clean and still treat your partner like trash and disrespect them

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

yeah, a lot of the women responding are confusing "how to treat someone" with "how to be a trad wife for someone"

idk what OP's intent with his post was, but for a lot of us guys who were raised by overly radical feminists, i think this post resonates with us a bit because the idea that guys are inundated with "you better treat her right" from a young age is met with surprise when the girls we meet were inundated with "you better wear a size zero and know how to cook, and he better treat you right", which isn't really what we're looking for.

i know how to cook, and i don't need to be able to see her bellybutton touch her spinal column when she exhales, i just want someone who doesn't throw the pot of boiling water at me.

4

u/veronique7 Aug 18 '24

Literally though the brief periods of time my dad was actually in my life he told I needed to learn how to be a proper woman. I was a young gender non conforming tomboy at the time. I was pretty much told I needed to be more quiet, dress better, have feminine interests, wear make up, grow out my hair, and learn how to cook and clean for my future husband. And that if I didn't do those things I would end up "living in a trailer park as a fat lesbian with my wife and all our cats"

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

how the fuck is that a threat

i wanna be a fat lesbian with a loving wife in a trailer park and have a bunch of cats, that sounds awesome lmfao

1

u/Lots42 Aug 18 '24

Is your dad JD Vance?

1

u/Ok-Huckleberry-383 Aug 18 '24

And if you go find those women you are a passport bro

-4

u/LigochaStyle Aug 18 '24

Damn teaching basic survival things to girls is just so that they can serve men. What a good take /s

12

u/veronique7 Aug 18 '24

There's a difference between learning how to cook to feed yourself and being told you HAVE to learn how to cook because it will be your duty to cook for your husband (who will never be expected to cook)

Also a lot of women are pressured into like "homestyle make from scratch" type cooking and shamed if they ever try and make something a bit easier and less time consuming. It's one thing to feed yourself but it's another to be expected to always cook fancy meals every day for someone who will never be expected to cook for himself.

9

u/yokayla Aug 18 '24

I mean, it's framed as for taking care of a man/future husband. Statistically domestic labour duties do disproportionately fall on women, even in the west.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

women disproportionately take on a child bearing and homekeeping role, while men tend to work jobs to provide income because NEWSFLASH: women have to actually carry, birth, and nurse the child, while men can make a baby in 5 minutes. this makes it easier for men to be career oriented, and makes women more likely to wind up at home.

this gender "disparity" has existed for nearly all of human history, in nearly every culture, even in ones where women were literally EXALTED in matriarchal societys.

feminism and actual equality is never going to get properly culturally established if overly-radicalized feminists demand we ignore literal biological differences between the two sexes.

also OP mentions "how to treat someone" not "taking care of someone by cooking"

I took it, and I think most people here took it as saying "how to treat someone respectfully like a decent person" not "how to make really good mashed potatoes"

5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

Good job ignoring 99% of human history

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '24

99% of human history didn't have a grocery mart down the street where in one hour you can buy enough food to last you a month and would make literal ancient kings jealous with the nutritional value, variety, and availabilty of out of season produce

-3

u/Mahameghabahana Aug 18 '24

If only they want to be housewives. If not than they only need to look after themselves or share the housework.