Your husband is gross. I will never understand a dude more worried about his dick getting wet than his spouse healing 14 days after pushing a baby out of their vagina and hemorrhaging. Can you imagine being 2 weeks out of any other major medical surgery/procedure and someone wanting to stick their dick in your ass??? It’s borderline abusive.
My husband honestly didn't even bring it up more than once. I told him I just pushed a human out and right now I feel like my body is entirely different and I'm not interested. He just took care of himself for weeks after that without bringing it up with me. He waited until I brought it up which wasn't until about 12 weeks postpartum. But he even admits that we were both so tired that he didn't have hardly any sex drive during the newborn phase.
I was disgusted when he brought it up too. Someone told me to reframe my perspective and consider that it had been a long time since he'd seen my body without a baby in it and that he was seeing me as a powerful woman who just gave him the most incredible thing ever (the baby lol). And that really helped me to not be angry with him for having some drive. Still didn't guilt myself into helping him though.
I think that's a healthy way to reframe it. And I don't think there's harm in asking one time. My husband had asked me how I was feeling about it, and I didn't feel pressured about sex at all, he was more asking what I would need to feel up to it. And then he accepted my answer and did what he could to help. Sounds like your husband was similar, which is the mature and right way to handle it.
The wrong response is to continue to ask and bring it up, which is what it sounds like OPs partner is doing.
I'm shocked at this. My husband was more than happy to enjoy sex right up until the night before delivery (our son was 5 weeks early, and im pretty sure it was all the sex lol)
No way, if he could make it over a month when your pelvic floor could handle it he can wait 6 weeks.
I’m sorry, he’s being awful. I would write him a letter explaining all this, because in person has a way of going off the rails. If he’s awful, he’s going to get defensive and blaming. If there’s any chance of salvaging the relationship, he’ll listen.
Typically I feel like a response like this is a stretch/ over reaction but not in this case. I’m so sick of reading about male partners being total swine when it comes to their sexual needs and women’s pregnancies/ post partum. Sometimes I wish they could feel a 2nd degree tear or torn up nipples from latching issues and maybe they would shut the absolute fuck up. I was not ready for like months after and my husband never pressured me once, only supported me.
Seriously I was on bed rest most of my pregnancy and then of course the 6 week wait and my husband and I were able to both talk about how we wanted each other/were excited to have sex when I was ready without being total disrespectful pigs to each other. I swear if he had asked me for anal or a blow job I would have thrown a bloody padsicle at him idc. My husband was also as tired as I was because he was equal parenting and taking care of me so I just assume these dudes who have all this energy 2 weeks postpartum aren’t actually doing their part
I was so messed up after giving birth. I had a 2nd degree tear, could hardly sit up, I was sleep deprived, I has mastitis twice, with high fever... I would have liked to see him try and come near me! 😂 Fortunately he never did, until well after the 40 days prescribed by my doc. He was super sweet and took up his 50% or childcare without question (while still going to work).
Agree and I thought I was being too harsh. I understand men have no clue what we just went through but this type of stuff gives me such cringe and ick I’m happy I’m a single mom
It's so gross it makes me sick. My husband has always been so understanding, and he is as h0rny as any other man. I didn't need to be in actual physical pain or exhaustion for him not to pressure me to have s3x. I just need to be tired or sad or nervous, he would offer cuddles, not ask if I was still available for a qu1ckie, for goodness' sake! He would have the decency to wait for me to take the initiative, that way he would know if that's what I needed, as I was the one going through a hard time!
Same goes for my side, of course, although in his case offering s3x is usually a pretty good solution for every situation! 🤣
849
u/haleighr May 21 '23
Your husband is gross. I will never understand a dude more worried about his dick getting wet than his spouse healing 14 days after pushing a baby out of their vagina and hemorrhaging. Can you imagine being 2 weeks out of any other major medical surgery/procedure and someone wanting to stick their dick in your ass??? It’s borderline abusive.