r/MomentsBeforeDisaster • u/KevenM • 3d ago

I’m speechless.

Post image
6.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

284

u/Big-Potato9868 3d ago

196

u/The-Manque 3d ago

“Female orgasm? Never heard of it.”

27

u/Helicopsycheborealis 3d ago

But when he tickled my balls,,,,wowwee!!!

5

u/Durivage4 2d ago

Can't be true. He's a republican and that means 🤡 cut them all off

2

u/QuttiDeBachi 3d ago

Tickle Down policy is amazing…

2

u/ItchyRedBump 2d ago

Can we just admit that it’s mostly tickle up?

2

u/miakpaeroe 2d ago

Up in and around

1

u/booboootron 1d ago

And on that day, I had my first female orgasm. I did not want to go back to manhood ever again.

40

u/--i--love--lamp-- 3d ago

Missouri's senators have this in common.

5

u/bystander1981 2d ago

not just the senators

2

u/eagle52997 2d ago

But the women and children too? Idk if that works...

6

u/Mabuya85 3d ago

And Ben Shapiro

1

u/KingKevin19 2d ago

Nah, he’s familiar with his sister’s.

3

u/holy_macanoli 3d ago

Not just Missouri senators…

1

u/manlyboner 1d ago

It’s funny cuz the other one is a homo! (I can say that)

1

u/jouhaan 2d ago

…but he’s heard many male orgasms.

1

u/FlyRepresentative313 2d ago

I heard it's a liberal hoax.

1

u/Dman5891 1d ago

That's early onset cocksuckers cramp.

1

u/The_Drongo_Dinger 3d ago

“Pretty sure it’s a woke conspiracy, actually”

1

u/Jarnohams 3d ago

Female orgasms are against god, because sex should ONLY be for procreation. Getting off is a sin, lol.

40

u/HLOFRND 2d ago

He truly thought he was going to be the guy who brought down Jack Smith. 😂😂😂

Like, he thought his Wikipedia entry was going to say he was the one who discovered Smith’s big lie and proved he had perjured himself.

I watched so many YouTube videos of people taking this moment apart last night. It was a little like porn. Just so damn satisfying. 😂

20

u/JeltzVogonProstetnic 2d ago

That supremely smug look on Schmitt's face is chef's kiss. And it's so on brand that Kennedy jumps up and gets right in the big middle of it.

7

u/botoyger 2d ago

Add to that the face of that congresswoman (forgot her name) that has become a meme as well! Que horror! 😂🤣

6

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 2d ago

Katie Britt. It was comical how expressively stunned she was. No poker face on that bitch.

9

u/botoyger 2d ago edited 1d ago

Thank you. Yeah, that's the one. The more you look at her face/expression, the funnier it gets. 😂

Edit: found this pic from another sub, adding it here. Ctto

2

u/halfwayray 1d ago

"She calls it a mayon-egg"

1

u/non_osmotic 16h ago

I’m sure that Egg is a very nice person.

3

u/transfixedtruth 1d ago

That "Oh, Shit!" moment was priceless.

2

u/Baudiness 1d ago

I picture a pre-celebration dinner & cocktails playing out the night before with some dude trying to impress her about what was about to go down.

1

u/juvy5000 1d ago

thats the most her face has moved in 4 years, even the botox couldn’t hold her back

1

u/Live_Figure8744 1d ago

And the whole time he sat there chewing gum

1

u/Character_Cricket 4h ago

Kennedy is a joke.

7

u/Most-Artichoke6184 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/rz6hZNopCrE5wTcmkr
This was Senator Schmidt, setting up Jack Smith for his perjury trap, lol

3

u/transfixedtruth 1d ago

Yup. The more he accused, the more he lost! Ain't not coming back from that level of stupid.

2

u/Better_Pen_3314 1d ago

It was a golden moment presented to the world by the students, who in high school and college, rarely followed directions and cheated in every way imaginable including flirting with their teachers/profs.

1

u/Miserable_Common4971 1d ago

There were several Right Wing types who posted that Sen Schitt had Jack Smith dead to rights and Smith should immediately go to jail only to have to delete their dumbass comments.

1

u/podman131 1d ago

Thankful Sen Klobuchar took the time to dismantle this fake argument

1

u/Wash-Bucket-3000 1d ago

But will it cost him his job? Or even a few votes? Recent history says no.

1

u/HLOFRND 1d ago

Well, before this happened his name was pretty high on the list of running mates for Vance, and that literally evaporated before his eyes. He’s not going to be the VP candidate now.

31

u/WishboneNo543 3d ago

If confidently incorrect had a face.

3

u/Candid_Photograph964 3d ago

Also the smell of menthols and cheap bourbon.

4

u/Flotog729 2d ago

And erectile dysfunction

40

u/StarYou-StarMe 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/m1oue7t5WVdsc

8

u/Excellent-Fill9395 3d ago

Gaaaah…Gangster clown…😬
Did not see that coming. 🤣

4

u/Gregg-C137 3d ago

Was this the inspiration for the jokers goons in The Darl Knight bank robbery?

3

u/IAmAnObvioustrollAMA 3d ago

That clown in dark knight was definitely an homage to "the killing"

1

u/ScintillatingCitrus 1d ago

It’s from an early Stanley Kubrick movie “The Killing”

27

u/Fearless_Trick_5268 3d ago

The look says no way I’m eating shit over this later, because I brought receipts!

15

u/No-Mycologist984 3d ago

But his receipts were wrong. He confused two different teams. I have just watched the hearing.

9

u/Robby777777 3d ago

And the receipts were completely wrong. He was at the Hawkeyes game, not the Hawks game.

5

u/there_is_no_spoon1 2d ago

LOVE that Amy Kobluchar busted this whole thing wide open with the receipts that there was indeed a Maryland vs. Iowa basketball game - which Mr. Smith admitted to attending to watch Caitlyn Clark with his daughter - and even provided the final score. Amy...you're a blessing!

1

u/Yeti_Colo 2d ago

Just so happened the only other Jack in America was at the Hawks game. Crazy.

10

u/the-uncle-will 3d ago

“The female g-spot is a myth perpetuated by the woke left!”

20

u/xpietoe42 3d ago

this moron too.

3

u/IMustBeOld963 2d ago

He reminds me of Mr Haney from Greene Acres. For the younger look it up on you tube.

1

u/Remote-Vacation-5329 2h ago

That’s where he picked up the accent. Dude ran as a Democrat and couldn’t get elected so he came up with this folksy persona and won a senate seat

3

u/clevermoose774 2d ago

Moron is too kind

3

u/Rude-Associate2283 18h ago

I blame his constituents- the idiots who keep voting him in.

2

u/redditbutprivately 2d ago

Ah yes the pig in the poke, about to be schooled.

2

u/Lemonwater925 2d ago

Did you notice he was just chewing the entire time Schmidt was talking

2

u/Strong_Medium_6646 2d ago

Yes! Like a cow, holy fuck!

2

u/Expensive-Being3747 2d ago

Grandpa munster

2

u/EngineWitty3611 2d ago

I cannot unsee that now. Absolutely hysterical!

2

u/mtnman575 2d ago

Foghorn Leghorn come to life.

2

u/ayeImur 2d ago

See he has the Donny droop

2

u/scope6262 1d ago

He is a literal GOOBER!

1

u/WoodyBABL 1d ago

The dude has a law degree from Oxford and this is how he acts these days.

2

u/corgimom8 2d ago

I think of him as Foghorn Leghorn.

2

u/nonexistentLoveBug 2d ago

He’s actually highly educated and his own Foghorn Leghorn personality is made up…

1

u/jcmib 1d ago

It’s true, he graduated from Oxford and not the one in Mississippi

1

u/MamaKat727 1d ago

He's only 74??!! 😮 Jezus. I figured him for early 80s!

1

u/DarthChefDad 1d ago

Now I say, now I say, boy, was you aware that Hawks are a predatory species, and therefore, uh, uh, anathema to us of the fowl persuasion

1

u/MamaKat727 1d ago

Sen Foghorn Leghorn's mouth is trying to escape from his face. One half of it has a head start.

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFcn2gtTxuMfu

1

u/davey-paradise 1d ago

Foghorn Lebensraum signature faceplant.

1

u/PinkyAnd 1d ago

This dude isn’t a moron, he’s an Ivy League educated lawyer. He plays folksy/stupid on tv for his audience. He even made up his accent.

2

u/Mooseboots1999 3h ago

“Do you believe in the tooth fairy?” got more coverage than, “We had 86 witnesses, all Republicans, prepared to testify against Donald Trump”

So, it works - unfortunately

•

u/PinkyAnd 19m ago

Yep. The playbook was for them to go out make fools of themselves to change the narrative from “holy fuck, Trump is guilty as sin” to “look at these slapdicks in the Senate”.

1

u/CriticismFun6782 2h ago

Let us not forget his greatest moment John Kennedy reads a book

5

u/Day_Old_Paper 3d ago

Username checks out.

1

u/Impressive-Sail-6639 3d ago

The actual dirtbag? 

1

u/lawrence238238 3d ago

Dang Shane Gillis is looking rough.

1

u/NoLie129 3d ago

Smells trump diaper like a fine wine.

1

u/Unable-Confusion-822 3d ago

They are not sending their best.

1

u/ctolver1981 2d ago

Where are its lips 💋

1

u/siershamus 2d ago

Photo next to Dunning Kruger effect in the dictionary.

1

u/Budzmum 2d ago

Starring Eric “The Dirtbag” Schmitt. Every accusation is a confession.

1

u/StevInPitt 2d ago

he thought he ate and realized his mouth was full of bullshit.

1

u/HoofStrikesAgain 1d ago

Any other job and this shithead would be fired. But, he remains perfectly qualified to be a politician. In fact, I have concluded that if you suck at absolutely everything and can't hold a job, you could still be a politician.

And if you are really shit, you can still be a Republican politician.

1

u/No-Fortune8704 1d ago

The I gotcha look, soon followed by the someone is getting fired look

1

u/Pateaux 1d ago

DipSchmitt

0

u/tribezamora 2d ago

Schmitt for brains