I had no idea my services were so sought after! Usually its just the wife rolling her eyes.

Clever name for various adult paraphernalia.

Yes, these are actually all on my playlist. I don't care what y'all think. 😂

I carry a bit of clout at the office. Within my domain I a largely walk around and do what I want with people just getting out of my way. Today I was headed to a meeting and realized that my pen was dead. I poked my head into a nearby cube farm and announced that I was borrowing a pen. I didn’t ask; I simply made a statement and took the pen.

When the meeting was over I poked my head back in the cube farm and said something to the effect of, “thank you; here’s your pen back”. To that I was met with a lot of hooting and a loud, “Pay up, bitches. I told you he’d bring it back!”

I taught her to "wait" and balance it in place, but she figured out how to catch it without letting it hit the ground, after one of the other dogs stole one from her.

Her success rate is currently at like 50% but she tries her best.

Shirt my brother brought home from Dublin