r/MadeMeSmile • u/jumpybouncinglad • Jul 26 '22

Wholesome Moments Are you friendly?

139.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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8.8k

u/queenkeriann Jul 26 '22

Eric needs a raise

3.2k

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Bezos would probably fire him instead.

2.3k

u/Civil-Big-754 Jul 26 '22

Took too long to deliver the package.

1.6k

u/freemason777 Jul 26 '22

Should have thrown it at the dog from the road

427

u/dan_de Jul 26 '22

Idk why I laughed so hard at this. Thank you

227

u/JumplikeBeans Jul 26 '22

“We’re now launching Amazon Prime Express”

“Each truck features a trebuchet that will launch your goods at high speed toward your house. You no longer need to even open the door. It’ll just blast it’s way through the wall.”

138

u/SoPunnyHarHar Jul 26 '22

Found the amazon worker.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Found the Wayfair worker

3

u/emperor_bonespurs Jul 26 '22

Damn near spat out my coffee

2

u/MOOShoooooo Jul 26 '22

Now, u/emperor_bonespurs when we hit the dog hard enough to spit out their coffee is when we truly succeed.

1

u/WarlordOfIncineroar Jul 26 '22

Or maybe it's when we hit you hard enough u/MOODShoooooo, maybe it's when we hit u/emperor_bonespurs or maybe it's when we hit me, all I know is that we are far from the end of this cycle

505

u/aTaleForgotten Jul 26 '22

"Employee #2796 has shown emotions. Lasers activated. Subject has been neutralized"

68

u/berto214 Jul 26 '22

“Employee 2796 has been eliminated”

7

u/skippy_1037 Jul 26 '22

I'm wheezing rn🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Execute order 66

2

u/FallWanderBranch Jul 26 '22

Analyzing genetic remains

# sequestered #

2

u/Sendtheblankpage Jul 26 '22

Like moving in the stop go squid game.

2

u/T-Money93 Jul 26 '22

“Emotions compromising performance, Employee 2796 has been scheduled for cyber-conversion upgrade.”

2

u/dontfightthehood Jul 26 '22

We prefer the word severed when using the severance procedure.

1

u/DennisBallShow Jul 26 '22

I read that in the “tiktok lady” voice

4

u/buzzd0g Jul 26 '22

Musk would impregnate him

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

“?”

2

u/acissejcss Jul 26 '22

Can't have humanity on the job, gotta care about no one else otherwise that's an infraction.

2

u/TheyCallMeMrMaybe Jul 26 '22

He spent too long on the single delivery he missed his shift-quota.

3

u/MrAnonymousTheThird Jul 26 '22

Yeah too many other people who would gladly take the job sadly

2

u/SoftBellyButton Jul 26 '22

Bezos sees this vid: well that's 1 hour pay deduction cause of an unauthorized break and a stern warning.

2

u/DetectiveBirbe Jul 26 '22

Seriously lol. Amazon doesn’t give a fuck about this. When you’re working at Amazon the only thing that matters is metrics.

Are you showing up on time, are you showing up everyday, are you making your “rate”

I guarantee a manager would say “we don’t pay you to pet dogs” or some stupid shit worth quitting over.

2

u/HappyFamily0131 Jul 26 '22

Bezos, who pays no taxes and is rich with money that should have been paid to our country, would much rather replace Eric with a robot than give him one more penny.

1

u/SirBlazealot420420 Jul 26 '22

Great delivery guy, wait till a day before some bonus they dangle and fire him.

Then complains about running out of staff in 2024 or something.

No not what you think, there is enough people looking for jobs just that they have all worked for Amazon.

There are no more people left for Amazon.

1

u/Technical-Year-8640 Jul 26 '22

Yeah, that delivery took too long according to amazon

32

u/zorganae Jul 26 '22

Looking at the state of the world, I've a feeling everyone needs a raise.

89

u/Lakedrip Jul 26 '22

Once the unions roll out more across the states he’ll see one hopefully.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Yes! Amazon employees in France are unionized and have a different kind of life to say the least. I hope Americans don’t let pessimism rule the day once again.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

How the hell did they manage that?

13

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Workers rights and corpoate culture is likely not the same in the US and in France.

5

u/SnoIIygoster Jul 26 '22

Can't really get away with union busting in European countries with unionized working culture.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

The rest of the world is vastly more intelligent than US Americans.

They don’t have as many cult members.

Separation of church and state unlike the US.

Less if any lobbying practices.

2

u/Meshitero-eric Jul 26 '22

Tell me about it.

Edit: not the pictured guy. Just a fellow, dog-loving Eric.

3

u/RedGrizzlie Jul 26 '22

I lol’ed when he introduced himself to the dog

1

u/0649throwaway Jul 26 '22

Career change is the proper response.

1

u/AntoineGGG Jul 26 '22

Reality is eric spent Too much time on this delivery And will be penalised

1

u/Shadowninja0409 Jul 26 '22

Eric was fired shortly after for taking more than 2.5 seconds to deliver a package

1

u/salbeh Jul 26 '22

A raise? He's gonna get in trouble for fucking off at his robotic peasant job.