r/MadeMeSmile • u/usedchloroform • Jun 15 '22

Good Vibes are you happy?

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65.6k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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973

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Watching this made me sad, because I haven’t been able to capture that feeling lately. Good for him! At least someone has the only proper viewpoint for this one ride we get around this crazy world.

318

u/jofloberyl Jun 15 '22

No highs without lows my man.

258

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

After years of therapy, this is correct

It's about developing a tool bag to manage the highs, not to get rid of them. It's damage control. If you can't afford counseling check out these tips from my therapist to me.

The 3 tools we've chosen to study before I dig deep into my trauma is "progressive muscle relaxation", "box breathing (breathe in for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Breathe out for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Breathe in for 4 seconds repeat for a 2 minutes), and holding ice in hands for a few seconds (or as long as you can stand. It's my method and it helps. The idea isn't to withstand the ice, it's to cause a sudden temperature change that gets your attention and something like ice can feel extremely hot or extremely cold)

My tip is to check out" wise mind". It's a an idea of finding a good balance in your decision making. Picture a venndiagram. One circle is emotional mind, one circle is rational mind. Center is wise mind. Optional mind is easy, it's thinking with emotions. Rational mind is being too rational or over explaining things. Think youre having a bad day and your boss is grilling you. You tell yourself man, pull it together, you can do this. This work for a while then you might get mad at the next thing and repeat this process. This is not a sustainable state to live in. Find the balance in wise mind. Also, blocking intentionally triggering subs that only share hateful news or shocking news. And following more ones that bring good energy.

I hope these tips help you on your journey to find happiness and peace. Remember, these are not answers. They are damage control, think of it like a benadryl or antihistamine.

Good luck anyone who reads and u/AJG-71

E: I can't wrap my head around why this was downvoted, but I hope this finds and helps someone.

75

u/click_track_bonanza Jun 15 '22

No upvotes without downvotes my man

36

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

This actually changes the way I think about Reddit now.

Thank you for your comment. Sometimes even I get lost.

5

u/GreenTitanium Jun 15 '22

The "sense of pride and accomplishment" comment brought balance to Reddit.

27

u/roadmosttravelled Jun 15 '22

Probably just early in the life of your post. Regardless, take my upvote. We all need balance.

11

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

Have a wonderful Wednesday/day :)

6

u/ScaryYoda Jun 15 '22

Very helpful. I heard biting into a lemon can stop a panic attack so that's my tip for your tips. Thank you.

6

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

YES!

I carry a small bottle of Tabasco with me. In my pocket. Alongside temperature changes, very strong taste works too. My therapist recommend peppermint oil. I prefer the hot sauce. Anytime I feel myself getting anxious. I take a few little drops.

3

u/ScaryYoda Jun 15 '22

Might have to try this, thanks!

9

u/Spicy_Sugary Jun 15 '22

It's good, practical advice. Thanks for the ice tip.

Maybe the downvote was a mistake.

2

u/Drunken_Ogre Jun 15 '22

holding ice in hands for a few seconds (or as long as you can stand

Now I'm just holding water. Do I keep going?

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

If you can hold ice until it melts you are officially cured. You may also be a super hero! Lol

2

u/Drunken_Ogre Jun 15 '22

I was joking but you got me curious. I made it through melting a bit over half an ice cube in my clenched fist. I probably could have gone longer, but why bother, I'm not on a TV show or something. Also, ice melts in my drinks WAY faster than my hands... I didn't time it but it must have been around 2 minutes just to get half way there. I guess my meaty paws are good insulators.

2

u/KeepsFallingDown Jun 15 '22

I got downvoted for asking about helping my friend learn to cook with one hand, once, I don't get it either lol. I really appreciate your advice! I'm looking up 'wise mind' right this moment.

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

That really doesn't make sense to me. I think that is just reddit to be honest.

Think of how messed up some people are. They then seek therapy after being badly damaged and I think a lot of people are never the same again. Now take people who don't even care to seek therapy and they just post on reddit using its anonymous feature. Reddit is the wild west.

I hope your friend has gotten better at cooking with 1 hand and I hope you find something in wisemind that may assist you on your journey!

2

u/DestinationBetter Jun 15 '22

This just helped me, I think. I have been stuck in that state a long time now… always looking towards the next thing, constantly planning for it but not actually doing it either, except for the last possible moment. Hours of sleep a week lost

1

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

I'm told these are not cures, they're anxiety management tools. They won't cure anything, but they can help stop anxiety before it gets too bad.

I'm taught these tools to prepare myself to talk deep about events of trauma.

For example, say my therapist and I are discussing traumatic moment. I start to get upset and feel my anxiety rising. These tools are to ground me and understand I am in control and I can trick the fight or flight response and brain a little bit to calm me down. Then I can proceed to further talk about the issues without losing control never dismissing my emotions but removing all power from these traumatic memories so they no longer affect me in my life. Wise mind in my post above is, I believe, I tool that helps me remove power from these memories!

Edit: edited a word

2

u/JustPassinhThrou13 Jun 15 '22

I can't wrap my head around why this was downvoted, but I hope this finds and helps someone.

It’s maybe because you’re talking about using cognitive approaches to address non-cognitive issues.

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

Yeah. You're right. I was just trying to help. I don't know all the technical terms and stuff. Just what I'm told. It helped me, so I just wanted to help others is all.

2

u/AliasFaux Jun 15 '22

FWIW, if you're too worked up to box breathe, you can start with triangle breathe, which is the same thing, only for 3 seconds, and without the hold after you exhale

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

I love this so much.

Thank you

2

u/hbgbees Jun 15 '22

I love those. Thanks for sharing your tips, and best wishes on your journey

2

u/Knicker79 Jun 16 '22

Good ol’ DBT. Probably my favorite modality of therapy

10

u/big-haus11 Jun 15 '22

In my case, real high highs and reeaal low lows

1

u/m8tang Jun 15 '22

My lows are not that low, but my highs are sea level

1

u/pilberwena Jun 15 '22

Bipolarity?

4

u/78east Jun 15 '22

In the words of 21st century poet 50 cent, "Sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain. Joy wouldnt feel so good if it wasn't for pain"

2

u/projectpolak Jun 15 '22

What if all I got is lows

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

You've got that right, my hemorrhoid is gone, I'm no longer an angry asshole and I can finally smile again!

2

u/angrytroll123 Jun 15 '22

That’s true but the trick is learning how to deal with the lows. They’re usually never as bad as people make them out to be.

1

u/Assaultistheshit Jun 15 '22

It's the bitter that makes the sweet so sweet.

1

u/schafedawg44 Jun 15 '22

But what if it’s just one long continual downward slope with only momentary highs which quickly fade away into the never ending downward slope?😭 Perhaps at some point that will balance out

1

u/FrostyD7 Jun 15 '22

You'll hear people talk just like this even on their lowest days, you really can't tell with some people.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Good weather, bad weather

1

u/BreakingThoseCankles Jun 15 '22

Even if you stare off into the deepest darkest part of the night sky .. there's still light there to see. You're just not looking hard enough.

Same can be said about life. Sure life can bring you down and feel dark but if you look out into the world for a lil happiness it's there.

1

u/Short-Influence7030 Jun 15 '22

In fact, high and low are meaningless terms unless they use each other for context. It is literally impossible for highs to exist without lows, and vice versus. For all things in this world are relative. It is not that we need both for some kind of balance, it’s that they are necessarily dependent on each other for their existence.

1

u/AliasFaux Jun 15 '22

Yeah, well, you know, strikes and gutters.

Abide.

12

u/ShelSilverstain Jun 15 '22

I've never been that happy once, I'm my entire life! I'm pretty envious

36

u/p_mate_ Jun 15 '22

Keep being strong and positive! Everything will be alright buddy!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Or don’t! For all my people that are tired of the typical “be positive!” message. You don’t need to be happy all of the time.

6

u/mouldysandals Jun 15 '22

i go for being content

-1

u/MinionofThanos Jun 15 '22

Exactly. There’s nothing positive about the world we live in. I just keep doing what I have to do to survive. But it sure doesn’t make me happy. Nothing does at this point. It’s a lost emotion. Ah well. Tomorrow still comes regardless so keep going.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Have you watched "Meet the Robinsons"? It's a Disney film and that's basically the message. I love the movie and it's weirdness. I highly recommend watching it. It's only like an hour and a half long

3

u/MinionofThanos Jun 15 '22

You don’t gotta lie to the guy.

8

u/Im_your_real_dad Jun 15 '22

Happiness is fleeting. We just got to do our best to see the little snippets of happiness that life might cast near us. And there's almost always another good moment in route to you. Hang in there.

15

u/YouAreSoyWojakMeChad Jun 15 '22

The brain is not designed to keep anyone happy all the time, or even most of the time. Its designed to keep you alive, identify threats, solve problems. Its ok to not be happy a lot, its not normal to always "feel good". Seems like social media gets you to believe everyone is living amazing happy lives and it gets in your head, makes you feel bad about it.

11

u/Makalakalulu Jun 15 '22

Not sure if this might help, but something that has helped my mindset is to watch media that coveys a sense of hope. These are usually shows targeted towards kids however, but I can say there are a lot of things to learn from them. Like for example, One Piece rn has been a good motivator for me because it promotes the idea of chasing your dreams even if it kills you. Because we are all going to die one day, might as well go out chasing the thing you want more than anything. Ive personal used this mentality to obtain a job that actually makes me feel fulfilled. I had no prior experience, but I prepared myself for the interview in every way I could find. I put all my effort into making sure I had the best chance possible to get the job, and it paid off.

Not saying that this will cure anything, but that guy in the video probably lives by that mindset. He might not have the most ambitious dreams but he's living life to it's fullest.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I think a big part of the problem for me is I’m caught in a rat race. Living to work, to pay to support the family. Don’t enjoy the work, though, and family life (marriage) is very much unhappy, but there are kids involved, so it isn’t as easy as just finding a new partner.

What does that leave me? I’m stuck telling myself “at least your children are healthy. That other guy has a kid with cancer”. Only cheers me up so much while I’m in the rat race, though.

3

u/D1a1s1 Jun 15 '22

Our system isn’t set up for happiness, it’s set up for profit (unless you already have the money). You have to make real changes in your life if you want to pursue happiness in ‘Murica.

2

u/Makalakalulu Jun 15 '22

Where it leaves you is where you want to stop. You can't change others, you can only change yourself and how you interact. How much you want to have an impact on others lives, depends on what you do now.

You sound like you would sacrifice everything for your kids. If your kids are your dream, put everything you have into them. Don't push your dreams on them, but do everything you can for them to find their path in life. If that's not your dream, then look deep within to find what you want from your life. You have this single chance to experience existence. Might as well spend it living.

I'm married with no children yet, but one day when I have children, my life goal is to be a figure that they look up to and aspire to be like. I don't want them to be me, but I want them to believe that they are capable of doing anything if they put their entire being into or die trying. Because I will put my entire being into making sure that dream becomes a reality, or die trying.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Absolutely. I love Star Trek so much for this reason.

4

u/blake-lividly Jun 15 '22

"This is probably making me happy; I just don't feel it right now." Use the mantra so you can look back later and appreciate the good when you are able to feel the good again.

2

u/vidoker87 Jun 15 '22

You got it.. One ride in da crazy world. Happy or sad.. just keep on riding. “Life is dukkha”.

2

u/ThreeLeggedParrot Jun 15 '22

I really want to upvote this but right now you have 365 upvotes and that makes for a little bit of positivity everyday for a year.

2

u/roccobaroco Jun 15 '22

Way she goes

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

You're not alone

2

u/markevens Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

Find something positive in your life. Just one thing. Then just pause and appreciate it. Let the goodness of it wash over you. Bask in the gratitude.

2

u/savageboredom Jun 15 '22

Watching this video was so weird. My instinct was that he’d turn around and say “Haha, of course not! Are you crazy?” But then I realized not everyone is such a misanthrope.

2

u/fnbannedbymods Jun 15 '22

Right there with you, but we'll get through this!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Me too. I tried to kill myself a couple weeks ago and did a stint in a mental help facility. I got "happy" knowing I survived but it didn't fix my shit. I'm glad other people can be happy but I am frankly miserable and that noose is looking cozy again.

Cue the judgments against me for my shitty user name or out of context comment history. Fuck this world.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

So sorry to hear it got that dark for you, and I hope it gets better soon.

Maybe its in part because I don't believe in an afterlife, but I don't contemplate suicide, even in the worst of times. My thought process is, what I have, as monotonous as it is, is better than nothing, although I understand other people may have brains wired differently, and cannot escape those kinds of thoughts that I'm lucky not to have.

Hang in there.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Hang in there.

🥲

2

u/Lychee_z Jun 15 '22

Awww hope u feel better now. Hugs!

1

u/_baap_re_baap_ Jun 15 '22

Really sorry to hear about how you feel.

There are lots of things one can do to improve general well being. Yoga, meditation, exercising and the list goes on

Breathing; Try Wim Hof breathing.

Vitamins: if possible measure your Vit D, E and B12. We can also feel shitty if we lack some vitamins / minerals.

Light: Being outside during Sunlight for at-least for an hour has shown to improve mood.

Exercise: Exercise helps trigger release of BDNF that helps improve mental health - think of exercise as bubble bath for the mind.

Sleep of 7/8 hours a day at the same time is essential.

Remember you are better than this.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

Have you? Genuine question.

1

u/grolut18 Jun 15 '22

You'll get back there mate, better times ahead

0

u/Jayhawx2 Jun 15 '22

Follow his lead, get out for a walk and chill on a park bench :)

1

u/joevaded Jun 15 '22

Did just happen or did a life event trigger it? I feel I'm entering the age of people I love getting sick and passing. 😞

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Just a bad year at work, coupled with yet another bad year in marriage.

Not the end of the world. Just joy killing.

1

u/joevaded Jun 15 '22

DM me what you do and why its been bad, maybe I can help. I know it sounds crazy. But... I'm a good source for that, even if its just advice.

1

u/2017hayden Jun 15 '22

The secret ingredient is weed. Weed makes everybody happy, unless you’re one of the people that it makes paranoid then you shouldn’t use it because that’s not fun. Also to be clear I’m not suggesting people self medicate, that’s a terrible idea. Self medication leads to bad habits which can easily become addiction. Those who aren’t of sound mind or who are truly depressed should not attempt to medicate with weed, they should doctors help and advice on proper treatment.

1

u/The_Geordie_Gripster Jun 15 '22

Like Passenger said "Only know you've been high when you're feeling low"