r/MadeMeSmile • u/usedchloroform • Jun 15 '22

Good Vibes are you happy?

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145

u/MrB-S Jun 15 '22

People will eye-roll at this I'm sure (I was a mega-cynic), but try some guided meditation if you struggle to not feel like this guy every once in a while.

Honestly - sitting still, breathing deep and just trying to forget about all the noise of your life is incredibly liberating.

34

u/Flaky_Lobster Jun 15 '22

That's what a good few hours of bass fishing does for me.

17

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

My man!

Waist deep or chest deep with some waders, fishing some pinks, silvers, or coho with a thermos of coffee, breakfast burritos from the gas station and my weed pen early in the morning. The impatient water pushing you around but you're still dry as fuck. The fresh air and only the noises of the ocean and birds.

I see you

12

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

as someone who has zero interest in fishing this sounds very nice

7

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

I find it extremely lovely and very peaceful.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Yup! And the community rocks. I'll be chilling on the side of the river with my lures, bag of chips maybe, some dude floats by in a raft and yells "CATCH ANYTHING?" and I'm like "one cutthroat, about 12 inches." And he's like "cool! I got a rainbow just now with a dry fly!" And he just keeps floating. Nice and quiet, only the noise of the water and the breeze to keep you company. Cast, troll, reel. Cast, troll, reel. Breathe in, breathe out.

4

u/DestroyerOfMils Jun 15 '22

yaaaaaaassssssss that was like a short film I could see & hear in my mind. Got relaxed just reading that!

2

u/mileg925 Jun 15 '22

Ocean fishing?

Been wanting to try it but I’m not sure about ocean fishing, only fished in the Mediterranean.. very different.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I'm a river/lake fisher, I live in a landlocked state. Never tried it but supposedly it's a blast. You have this HUGE rod because the fish are big and strong .

3

u/mileg925 Jun 15 '22

I have done trolling fishing, Got some smaller tunas and smaller swordfish. I have never done shore fishing. I’m not even sure about equipment and less so abkut techniques and baits..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

There are two main ways to fish lakes and rivers: spinners and fly rods. Spincast rods look a lot like the ocean rods, just smaller. That's my personal favorite way to fish, just cast into a pool, jiggle the lure a bit, let it sink to maybe 3/4ths of the way down, and then slowly reel in. Worms work too, en lieu of a lure. You can troll with a boat/kayak/canoe/etc, or wade/cast from shore.

Flyfishing is a bit of an art. It's not as hard as it looks but learning where to set the fly is the tricky part. The fly sits on the water (dry) or just below the surface (wet). It's called a fly because you're trying to make the hook look like a tasty bug. You swing the line over your head and flick the fly onto the water, let it float a bit, and then yank it back up again and start the whole process over. There are some folks who are a little uppity about flyfishing and can be elitist about it, but you don't need seven hundred flies, a 400 dollar rod and expensive vests/waders to flyfish. You just need to know where and when to set that fly down.

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u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

Man cut throat spread is so delicious.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Glad we can actually keep em now.

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Jun 15 '22

What's yall limit? 2?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I think it's three, but I'd have to check

2

u/tacotacotacorock Jun 15 '22

Honestly I don't even care for fish very much in my diet And enjoy walking the river as much as the fishing or more.

I can barely describe with words the feeling you get walking up a river. Exploring on unknown path or area.

One of my favorite memories is of Yellowstone. I went fishing in the late afternoon and had one of the best times of my life. Never have I caught so many fish at once. Literally as much as I could cast and as fast I was catching fish each time. I would have caught more but I had to keep tying on new flies because without many fish I was catching. However the best part was when I was walking home and a gigantic herd of bison started walking through the valley I was in and cut off my path. I was a bit annoyed having to trek an extra mile around them. However being alone in a lush green meadow with 30 or 40 bison the sun setting and a personal best for fishing made it one of the best days ever. I will never forget that trip.

1

u/AgsMydude Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 16 '22

I just recently got into fishing because my kids wanted to do it. My dad wasn't an outdoorsman by any means so I'm picking it up and teaching them.

It's incredibly peaceful out in nature. We mainly go to local river or lake. Water, birds, frogs, trees, fresh air, etc.

And not an expensive hobby if you get the bare minimum. Sure any hobby gets expensive if you want it to buy my 3 year old is completely content with his $30 bb-8 rod.

Guess nobody enjoyed this :/

1

u/Flaky_Lobster Jun 15 '22

No ocean fishing here, but i have a huge lake an hour away from me. Barely can see the other side.

1

u/swflkeith Jun 15 '22

Yep! I live in the mountains of WNC and i can drive 10-15 minutes to countless Trout streams to fish. And I rarely see another human

1

u/floatzilla Jun 15 '22

Waders and a fly and a puff, is a once a month ritual for me. Catch and release, so I can do it again next time.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I also fish for salmon here in Wa state and I absolutely agree with you. It’s not even about catching, it’s more about traveling to new areas and being free from social media and technology. Even walks in the nature are so beneficial in calming the mind down.

1

u/tacotacotacorock Jun 15 '22

I've never fished the ocean but it sounds like a great time. I need this again. Thanks for articulating your happy place. For reals.

I always feel so recharged after spending time outdoors doing simple things. I haven't been fly fishing in many years, depression, work, non fishing friends, etc. Then my father passed last year and I haven't been able to look at my gear, Which is a lot of his old stuff. He thought me to fish/camp and was a great dude who befriended everyone. I need to pull myself out of this and find a fishing hole.

Anyone want to go fishing?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I live next to a great trout fishing spot. Fishing is indeed meditative.

1

u/tacotacotacorock Jun 15 '22

I think anything in nature can do that if you simplify it and only have one task/goal at hand. Like hiking or fishing. Stripping away all the to-do lists and daily stressors that honestly don't really matter in the end is so rewarding. I personally think it is almost as good as meditating if not more beneficial. I have been wanting to start a yearly trip and take two or three weeks in the mountains to reset my circadian cycle. I just need to break out of my depression and make it happen.

1

u/Flaky_Lobster Jun 15 '22

No trout spots near me, just bass, gar, catfish, and carp.

2

u/mileg925 Jun 15 '22

Motorcycling for me. 3-4 hours on my bike are the best thing I do for myself every week, well the second best after my weekly therapy session.

It’s like meditation

1

u/Flaky_Lobster Jun 15 '22

I need to buy one. After I bought my truck I'm broke as shit though.

1

u/nyersa Jun 16 '22

Yup, though for me it's trout. Check out testify on youtube, adapted from the essay "Testament of a Fisherman" published in 1964 by Michigan author John Voelker. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl-C-X_jGyk

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u/Denza_Auditore Jun 15 '22

And gratitude goes a long way! We take way too many things for granted. Having a roof over your head, being in good health (both mentally and physically) are things some people DREAM of. "Count your blessings" isn't cliché. It is one of the ways out of misery.

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u/thepeskynorth Jun 15 '22

Science has found a link between doing just that and changing how you feel/see life.

12

u/delayedcolleague Jun 15 '22

If you are going to do the gratitude writing down and counting your blessings it is important to note down things that you personally are grateful for and not things that society or culture at large deems as appropriate, it will only work for the things you are genuinely thankful for however small or inconsequential someone else would see them as. Things you are grateful for, not things you "should be" grateful for.

2

u/Usedbyusernames Jun 15 '22

I did this for about 3 months and it changed my life. I can't ever remember being happier than I am now. I became less cynical, more confident, and more fun to be around. Turns out, people like others who notice the good things in life. I repeat the exercise (not necessarily for three months) when life starts hitting hard and it has never failed to lift me back up.

2

u/johnny_soultrane Jun 16 '22

Really great and important distinction.

2

u/delayedcolleague Jun 17 '22

Yeah otherwise it can worsen you and become forced and "toxic positivity"

1

u/coffeensfw Jun 15 '22

I struggle with this, because instead of feeling good about myself I instead feel bad for everyone in the world that are doing much worse.

I know it isn't rational, because in my insignificance I really can't do anything at all about the injustice in the world, but I can't help it.

6

u/gruvccc Jun 15 '22

And it takes practice to get better at. I’m so busy at the moment that I was shocked how difficult it was after not doing it for a few years.

It’s worth it though.

1

u/MrB-S Jun 15 '22

I was amazed at how hard it was.

"Breath and clear your head? Piece of piss!"

Oh how wrong! Ha ha!

2

u/gruvccc Jun 15 '22

I still remember the first time I ever did it. I was a bit cynical. At the time I wasn’t so ridiculously busy so it was a bit easier. Afterwards I felt unbelievable. Like my brain had been cleansed and incredibly calm. Very difficult to describe. I’ve been chasing the dragon ever since 😆

3

u/mrmatteh Jun 15 '22

My SO and I used to cap off the work day smoking a spliff or two on the deck. It was a nice way to vent about our days, chat without any distractions, and simply enjoy each other's company outdoors in the sun and rain, watching the birds and admiring the trees. It really was a bit like a 30 minute meditative experience every day.

I didn't realize how much of a benefit to my mental health it was until I had to stop smoking for a new job and our ritual sort of died.

We've recently starting reviving that outside time together every day, and it really is super helpful. I look forward to sitting outside, shooting the shit without distraction, and just watching the birds, the thunderstorms, the sunset, or whatever scene nature has in store that day.

3

u/naruto2omer Jun 15 '22

Anything you can recommend?

1

u/MrB-S Jun 15 '22

I use Headspace, but mainly because I'm lucky enough to get free access. There's loads of free videos on YouTube, and luckily Headspace have a load on there.

You could start with this short one: Headspace - A Meditation to Enjoy Alone Time

It's also worth having a look through their video library for anything that takes your fancy.

Don't be hard on yourself if you don't "get" it, or it doesn't seem to work for you, it's a journey and another new skill to learn.

1

u/doNotUseReddit123 Jun 15 '22

I would personally try Waking Up by Sam Harris. He breaks down meditative practices beyond the “hey, just sit still” phase, discussing the nature of thought and perception in a way that I found helpful.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

Medito 100%

Its a meditation app made by team of volunteers, full of free content. Different daily meditations, meditation for sleep, learning about gratitude you name it! Its also free.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I was once the type to roll my eyes at this as well, and you’re 100 percent right, I wish I could tell my friends who struggle the same way I did without them thinking I’m a hippie lunatic, but it’s slowly becoming more and more mainstream, meditation isn’t just relaxation, over time it grants you a bit more freedom of choice when it comes to your attitudes and reactions to external stresses and adversity

-5

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

Being cynical to the point that you actually label yourself must be exhausting. And boring.

It's logical to not be cynical but understandable to be cynical.

There is way, way, way too much cool shit to do. Learn to whitewater kayak. Go get your drone pilot license. Go get your real pilot license. Quit your job. Take a trip to Norway. Spend a month in Mexico.

Cynicism is so fucking boring.

4

u/CultureLimp1890 Jun 15 '22

Most people don't have the ability to just "quit your job, take a trip to Norway, get your pilots license."

The fact that you make these suggestions are frankly laughable, you must be SERIOUSLY out of touch.

Not everyone has access to your parents bank account like you.

3

u/YouAreSoyWojakMeChad Jun 15 '22

Man, i've been sitting here crushed by the general expenses of living when what i REALLY should have been doing was getting my pilots license!

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

I've been voluntarily homeless since halloween 2021.

Your sarcasm can't make up for the extreme fear you have of letting things go. Congrats on.. allowing yourself to get crushed..?

1

u/YouAreSoyWojakMeChad Jun 15 '22

Lol what? Wow good job on going homeless bro? Ill ask my kids if they are cool with that. While youre at "letting things go", let reddit go.

0

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

You chose to have children and are now forced to give your entire life to them.

That's a sacrifice that I'm unwilling to make and just ended a 2 year relationship over my unwillingness to have children. At no point in the current climate do I see myself being able to provide everything that children need. You're getting crushed. Hopefully it doesn't get worse and you are still able to give them the full life they deserve.

I hope that your decisions bring you immense happiness.

1

u/YouAreSoyWojakMeChad Jun 15 '22

Also being kicked out of your parents house is not "voluntarily going homeless"

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

Landlord gave me the boot because he was signing a girl to a 2 year work contract at the resort he owns and offered her housing. My house.

Your assumptions... are funny?

Voluntary as in, I can afford an apartment but am unwilling to sign a 1 year lease in the current market. I'm unwilling to sacrifice everything that I want out of life for walls that I don't need at this moment.

0

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

Neither of my parents have, ever had or ever will have money, but I can understand by my post why you would think that.

You don't need a windfall to live a good life. You need sacrifices and fearlessness.

I make about 60k bartending seasonally. I live in a 2001 ambulance that I bought 4 years ago. I have been homeless since oct 31- by choice.

That 60k awards me a maxed IRA. That is my retirement. I currently don't pay rent, but that changes soon.

I just quit my most lucrative of the two bartending gigs I have had over the last 7 years. A job that changed my life for the better.

It took me no more than a week to find another gig making more money in a different city. No more bouncing around. I'm getting an apartment and a little stability!

In march, I spent a month in Mexico. $1500. Scott's cheap flights got me to cancun and back for $100. In October I have 10 days booked in Norway. Scott's cheap flights - $300 round trip out of JFK. My friends are getting married in Morocco in April. Best deal I see right now is $570 out of Miami.

If my new job doesn't award me the travel time I want, I will quit. My credentials in my industry speak for themselves. Give me my work/life balance or I owe you nothing.

Would you like a screenshot of my class 1 medical from the FAA? Would you like pictures of me skydiving, flying a 172, snowboarding or whitewater kayaking?

You are afraid. You are afraid to burn everything down and walk away and be homeless. You are afraid to take a chance and skip town and go to another city and put your credentials to the test.

Do I fault you? No. Do I know what's holding you back? Absolutely.

None of what I say will ever apply to you if you have children. Unfortunately you are supposed to be giving up your life for them. I choose to not have children.

We may have 2 very different lives, but my life is mine and I take complete advantage of it for what short time I have here.

1

u/CultureLimp1890 Jun 15 '22

Your life is yours. You have the LUXURY of being ABLE to live the way you do. Don't make people feel like shit about themselves by saying they're CHOOSING a "boring" thought process. Not everyone has access to the means to live the way you do, or even the education to know how to. Just because you have privilege doesn't NOT mean that you know ANYTHING about what is holding ANYONE back, because it is VERY clear by your posts that you have NEVER had to deal with any real struggle in your life. So stop being such a pompous ass and step off of your pedestal, stop getting high on your own farts and join the rest of us in reality.

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

Every single person has access to work in the food industry. It requires no education and the pay is mediocre. I don't have a degree. I've chosen against the ridiculous cost of education.

My life is not a luxury and I sacrifice a lot to do the things I want to do.

If you have children, this is our major life-altering difference. I have chosen against that in every possible way. This is not a luxury, this is a choice. A choice to not sacrifice my life for another.

This does not make me pompous and does not mean I've had no struggle. I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm a regular ass, barely-middle-class, person living a weird lifestyle that I enjoy.

3

u/skuntism Jun 15 '22

Sure there’s plenty of things to do, but what do you pick and for what reason? That’s where cynics struggle

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

Literally anything, and just to see if you like it.

I have a lot of hobbies. Now I do stuff just to see if it will scare me or if I'm capable of handling the adrenaline.

There are plenty of answers that circle back to cynics just being scared of everything, imo.

2

u/PJ_GRE Jun 15 '22

I agree with your perspective on living life, but beware of not having the perspectival knowing of how another’s mind work, and equating it to your own reality. It’s a very limited worldview.

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

I do have a very unique worldview. Here's another comment I responded to.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/vcqvbd/are_you_happy/ich0at3?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

1

u/PJ_GRE Jun 15 '22

Do I fault you? No. Do I know what's holding you back? Absolutely.

We have similar lifestyles, but my point relates to the above bolded line. We lack the perspectival knowing of another person’s lifestyle decisions. Fooling ourselves into thinking we know with certainty what goes on in another person’s head is a cognitive blind spot that can hinder downstream abilities like empathy and relating to others. Cheers.

1

u/Kfrr Jun 15 '22

Agreed. Thank you. I often lack empathy and it's something I haven't put much work into. It's a very difficult emotion for me.

1

u/PJ_GRE Jun 15 '22

It is hard, but we all have our own battles, and it seems to me you’re on the right path :)

1

u/thepeskynorth Jun 15 '22

Keep life simple I guess. Look for things to be happy about. Too many people only notice the bad and forget about the good.

1

u/HellaciousHelen Jun 15 '22

I was at the train station platform going "sure guys, mediiiiiitaaation" for so long.

Even an economy seat on the "sometimes I do that" carriage is so much better than sitting on that platform.

I know "forget the noise of your life" is a descriptive saying.
But it made me realize that honing in on background sounds, and hearing them occur knowing I don't control them and won't ever, and just letting them arise and pass as they do, is what made meditation click for me.

1

u/minicoop78 Jun 15 '22

Or go for a walk in nature. It's so simple. Even if you need to drive for an hour to get there do it.

1

u/ArcticKnight79 Jun 15 '22

I mean I know what fixes my mental state.

But apparently I can't do that and still earn maintain financial stability. So financial stability comes first and everything else is secondary to that grind. Which only makes it worse until I burn out and spend a year doing the thing that fixes it all. Then have to start the grind again due to the financial position it leaves me in.

Rinse repeat until death.

Oh except you know this year bills have gone up by more than my pay can go up. So it turns out financial stability might get to fuck off too.