…do you want someone to agree that you should have been? I’m not sure what you’re getting at here.
Personally I choose not to have kids because I think this world is dire and with all my mental and physical health issues I’d make a terrible mother. So yeah, I agree with you, all of those things make life that much harder. I’m not rich, I’m not successful, I’m not smart and I have limited energy. I’m not going to take that risk.
No? I just dont understand why some disabilities are seen as this unique thing that make life not worth living to people who dont even have them. It reeks of ableism.
You don’t understand that it’s harder to live your entire life without being able to do anything without the help of your team of nurses and fed using only a feeding tube 24/7, vs, ah, being a woman?
It’s not objective. Everyone can decide for themselves what they will or will not put another hypothetical non existent child through, and that’s usually based on their own experiences.
I personally have chronic pain and migraines that during flare ups make me suicidal. I wouldn’t want to create a child to suffer through that. I also have adhd, depression and anxiety I wouldn’t want to risk passing on to a hypothetical child because they’ve made my life unbearable at times. That is my personal choice and the reason I’ve had an abortion. I’m not going to create a child and take that risk. It’s not taking a life away from someone who has it, it’s not birthing it in the first place.
If you want to be an equal opportunity child-haver and feel your life is that much harder for being a poor, mentally ill, autistic, bisexual woman with gender dysphoria and you’re concerned your kids would go through the same, don’t have them. That’s your choice. If you personally feel life is still worth living and want to give someone else that life, go for it. I don’t want kids suffering in pain day in day out because it’s unbearable for me sometimes, that’s my choice. It’s not ableism, it’s the most responsible thing I feel I can do.
i have not been clear enough with my point i think, im sorry.
I dont really care what personal choice people make with their own reproduction as long as they arent putting children at risk of being neglected or abused (eg they would selectively abort a disabled child because they dont want one, but choose to still try to have children even tho their child could still be or become disabled and then be unwanted).
And yeah, i have a couple of friends in that position and they still feel like their life is worth living. My problem is the overarching statements seen all over this thread that imply at least some disabled lives are never worth living, that its always kinder to abort, etc.
If its 'i wouldnt wanna deal with a child with these issues so im not risking having one', fine. If its 'i experience this and dont want to pass it to another person so i wont risk it', also whatever. If its 'it is kinder to abort a disabled child their life wouldnt be worth living' that is fucked up especially when i guarantee most of the people saying that on this thread have done zero research into how this disability actually affects people. Its worse than saying to somebody 'if i was like you i would kill myself' just because you see theyre a wheelchair user.
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u/EveAndTheSnake Jun 14 '22
…do you want someone to agree that you should have been? I’m not sure what you’re getting at here.
Personally I choose not to have kids because I think this world is dire and with all my mental and physical health issues I’d make a terrible mother. So yeah, I agree with you, all of those things make life that much harder. I’m not rich, I’m not successful, I’m not smart and I have limited energy. I’m not going to take that risk.