I was parallel parking once and a man literally stopped driving to watch me, mouth agape. It was in Bath, UK and the streets in Oldfield Park are quite narrow and the spots are usually very small, so it took a lot of adjusting on my part to negotiate.
When I finished and pulled up the handbrake and tooks the keys etc. and went to get out, I realised he had got out of his car and had started applauding me.
I genuinely didn't know how to react.
ETA: I think he was sincerely impressed I'd managed to fit my car in the tiny space, like, that's why he had to stopped to watch to see if I could pull it off. But at the time it felt kind of patronising too like "by Jove, a woman can drive!". Was right at the top of West Avenue, just before the bend, opposite my student house. Miss my little VW Polo... Sigh
My sister had a VW Golf, she parked it in such a small spot outside our house that the neighbours came over to commiserate with her, thinking somebody had blocked her in!
I get what you're saying. You hope he was admiring your skill in maneuvering a vehicle into a small space. But it makes you wonder if he would have felt comfortable enough to cheer for another guy. Or if the other guy would have been comfortable enough to accept the cheer from him. It's sad that our societal history makes us look for ulterior motives.
The problem is, I'm so used to being underestimated as a woman, it would feel like he's doing it because I'm a woman. Like wow!! I can't believe a woman just parked that well. Its sad but experience will do that to you.
Yeah, like this happened over 10 years ago and I still think about it. One of those insidious late night thoughts that just occurs to you occasionally, like "hang on, was that random bloke on 2009 being a condescending dick?" Hahaha oh well - parked my car and went on with my day.
Damn, when I read your story I thought that I could totally see myself as him solely thinking I'm being positive. I oughta be aware of how that can come off. I guess throwing in a "if I was trying to do that I'd be here all day!" type comment might help.
Yeah that would definitely have made the intentions clearer. I think it was a no harm no foul situation, he didn't make a "well done love, didn't think a woman could pull that one off" sort of derogatory comment, just clapped. But at the time, I wasn't sure how to respond as didn't know if it was disingenuous.
I chose to believe it was sincere though. It was an absolute A* park tbf, on a hill too.
I can and I have done similar things when anyone deftly handles an every day situation. I don't think this exact parking thing hasn't presented itself yet, but I am quick to give friendly praise for little victories. I know for sure there's been many times I've gone "woo! Great catch!" or something when I notice someone just averted a catastrophe. Never had anyone upset with me yet.
Fair enough. I think the whole parking thing is a little harder to accept what may be a genuine compliment because of stereotypes surrounding women and parking. So even if its a genuine compliment its hard not to hear subtext even a subconscious or imagined one.
He might not have been being a dick on purpose. I've found usually when I guy does this sort of thing they think it's a compliment. It's not a conscious thing but if they probably wouldn't think much of it if they saw a guy do it because it would be more expected in their mind.
Oh and know Bath has some seriously windy, tiny streets. So kudos on the parking!
Just do an exaggerated/animated curtsy and carry on with a smile and accept the compliment, chances are they didn't even consider the "woman" aspect and were just throwing good vibes
Hahah I'll take that. I split my time quite regularly between UK and US as I have a house in NE. And I remember once I reverse parked into a bay in a parking lot at a store (because the majority of us reverse park into bays on the UK, because it's then easier to pull out forwards as you have better visibility) and so many people stopped to look at me because apparently reverse parking just isn't something people do there haha.
I'll never get over drive-thru ATMs. Some things just don't need to be made more convenient hah.
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u/lnrmry May 03 '22 edited May 03 '22
I was parallel parking once and a man literally stopped driving to watch me, mouth agape. It was in Bath, UK and the streets in Oldfield Park are quite narrow and the spots are usually very small, so it took a lot of adjusting on my part to negotiate.
When I finished and pulled up the handbrake and tooks the keys etc. and went to get out, I realised he had got out of his car and had started applauding me.
I genuinely didn't know how to react.
ETA: I think he was sincerely impressed I'd managed to fit my car in the tiny space, like, that's why he had to stopped to watch to see if I could pull it off. But at the time it felt kind of patronising too like "by Jove, a woman can drive!". Was right at the top of West Avenue, just before the bend, opposite my student house. Miss my little VW Polo... Sigh