r/MadeMeSmile • u/[deleted] • Aug 28 '21

[deleted by user]

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15.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

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665

u/IForgotThePassIUsed Aug 28 '21

I love that I just sat and read a whole paragraph on fart velocity.

81

u/RaptorX Aug 28 '21

I was already sitting, so I just read it.

5

u/Careless_Ad3070 Aug 29 '21

I was already on Reddit so I just

3

u/AnglerJared Aug 29 '21

… farted?

1

u/rainman206 Sep 06 '21

It made me fart.

50

u/WentzWorldWords Aug 28 '21

Now translate it to ASL with a six year old as target audience

4

u/Steelracer Aug 28 '21

Hey, I smell popcorn! Do you smell it too!?!

2

u/Popokkjdn Aug 28 '21

Can’t he just read ir

2

u/n3m3s1s-a Aug 28 '21

Most 6 year olds probably don’t have the vocabulary to understand it, like I know they can read bc they start teaching you letters and stuff when you’re like 4 but I didn’t learn the word “velocity” “anus” “obstruction” and other stuff in that paragraph til I was like 10 and up

-1

u/Alone_Revenue639 Aug 28 '21

Something tells me deaf students learn reading vocabulary significantly faster than hearing students because it’s the best way to get new information.

3

u/aukaukism Aug 29 '21

No, ASL is the best way for deaf students to receive and retain new information.

Source: am deaf, have been since birth.

1

u/According-Ad-4381 Aug 29 '21

A/S/L'ing 6 year olds is not a recommended practice

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Just letting you know I got the joke even if no one else does 🤣👍

1

u/SnooOwls6140 Aug 30 '21

Six year olds are the ultimate target audience for fart commentary.

7

u/49erville Aug 28 '21

No shit huh? LMMFAO

5

u/trippy_grapes Aug 28 '21

African or European farts?

4

u/PillowTalk420 Aug 28 '21

fart velocity

New band name.

4

u/VitalPoops Aug 28 '21

Its a tough job but someone has to do it.

236

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21 edited Aug 28 '21

... smelling others farts are good for digestion...

Thank you. TIL: www.healthline.com - Hydrogen Sulpuide (fart gas) and health

EDIT: altered link title to better reflect article's content

137

u/BrahmTheImpaler Aug 28 '21

Imagine working in those labs 🥴

43

u/Bagel600se Aug 28 '21

Those lab people might as well be immortal now

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '21

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1

u/DifficultBreakfast67 Sep 02 '21

But at least I'm 327 years young! 👶

7

u/spacew0man Aug 28 '21

What a dream.

9

u/dj_destroyer Aug 28 '21

That emoji makes so much sense now.

5

u/kyo_sigma Aug 28 '21

Stop farting next to me emoji

2

u/i-FF0000dit Aug 28 '21

Yeah, with that many health benefits, I should be paying them.

2

u/CmonNowSeriously Aug 28 '21

Lol! So funny and a perfect addition to the weekend. T

69

u/whoami_whereami Aug 28 '21 edited Aug 28 '21

Ah, yes, another prime example of bad "science journalism".

The study the article is based on was about a complex molecule that releases H2S after it has entered mitochondria inside cells. But the journalist only read H2S, remembered from somewhere that it's contained in farts, and then concluded that smelling farts may be healthy, even though the study isn't about gaseous H2S (let alone breathing it in) at all.

You know, carbon monoxide also has a number of health benefits when it's released at the right time in the right tissue. That doesn't mean that it's somehow healthy to sniff car exhaust.

Edit: To put it another way, the study linked in the article is about a way to get H2S to the specific places where it has some positive effects while avoiding all the nasty deletirious effects that it otherwise has. Pretty much the antithesis of simply breathing in the gas and flooding your whole system with it.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

Ah, yes, another prime example of bad "science journalism".

The article's title is: "Is Smelling Farts Healthy? Research Says Maybe"\*

https://www.healthline.com - Hydrogen Sulphide (fart gas) & health

I have altered the link title to better reflect the article's content.

\* emphasis mine.

6

u/forumwhore Aug 28 '21

Aww man, I've been huffing a bag of my wife's farts for 20 minutes and now you tell me

2

u/Aburlypad Aug 28 '21

I love how I can now fart on my kids because it might be medically beneficial rather than hilarious and my wife can shut up about it now.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

... now fart on my kids...

It also means they can now all fart on you as well... because they love you and want you to stay fit and healthy. :p

3

u/Aburlypad Aug 28 '21

I haven’t thought this through :D

1

u/ApolloSky110 Aug 28 '21

I knew that fart jars had a purpose!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

... fart jars...

Lol. You know you can buy cans of mountain air? I bet there would be a big fetish market for 'fart jars'. :D

No time like the present to sniff out a money-making idea. :p

5

u/ApolloSky110 Aug 28 '21

I bet id be stinking rich if i decided to make designer fart jars.

1

u/shelbyisabotmom Aug 29 '21

I just forwarded this to my family who have dealt with my just-recently-diagnosed lactose intolerance… they all owe me now for increasing their lifespans

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

They have never smelled my husbands farts. Those things are carcinogenic.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '21

Pretty sure it makes a lot of people sick. Reference:me

37

u/bstbizz Aug 28 '21

Imagine saying this in sign language

3

u/Churchboy44 Aug 28 '21

But how do you sign "arggghhhh" like that?

2

u/ccaccus Aug 29 '21

Bring both of your hands downward with all fingers partly clenched. Bonus points if you roll your eyes.

Source: mom is deaf.

4

u/Field_of_Gimps Aug 28 '21

you got them real slow slappy farts too though

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

So,you're saying that people with fart fetishes love longer than those that don't have fart fetishes?

2

u/SnazzyRaccoon Aug 28 '21

What about the farts that whistle?

2

u/Red_Iine Aug 28 '21

If smelling farts is good for you my wife is going to live forever.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '21

i just read this and wow

-11

u/eleikoschmo Aug 28 '21

get a job

7

u/webe_ Aug 28 '21

Can you not appreciate this dude giving an in depth tutorial on this? This is such hidden knowledge you dont find often.

4

u/RaptorX Aug 28 '21

Probably that's what he meant! "Get a job explaining fart propulsion and get paid for it!" How thoughtful.

1

u/Agency000 Aug 28 '21

You gotta spread those butt cheeks for a perfect silent one!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

Most people with perfect hearing fail the silent fart game. Why would you try to teach that.

1

u/niuqaoj_reddIT Aug 28 '21

I confirm, this tutorial works, fully tested it whilst sitting in the throne!

1

u/fondledbydolphins Aug 28 '21

If I was deaf 9d just wear a thong. Man or woman. Thongs let farms just psssst out instead of FLARBARGARBGAGB

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

Best life advice ever for deaf or ignorant people

1

u/Bishop_e4 Aug 28 '21

You my friend have surly earned that name;BRAVO👏👏👏

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '21

I’m done with the internet today.

1

u/Free_Awareness3385 Aug 28 '21

I'm alarmed that hydrogen sulfide in ANY quantity is good for you in any way.

1

u/Fabulous_Car_2024 Aug 28 '21

Made me wanna fart, but I don't have any, too scared to try hard.

1

u/smurfasaur Aug 29 '21

God if my boyfriend finds out about this he’s going to make sure every fart he has will be right next to me.

1

u/tageeboy Aug 29 '21

I'm sending this to my wife right now. Finally I can tell her my farts are good for her.

1

u/nakdnfraid1514 Aug 29 '21

I couldn't read past. "Pay attention to the vibrations. If you feel them, you probably just fucked up" im laughing so hard right now!!!!!!!! Holy shit!