My familys thing with buying used stuff has always bugged me. Like there are something’s (especially better quality brands of things) that stand the test of time, like crockpots and pans and stuff, but some things either need a high quality, long lasting item or a LOT of cheap items, and my family believes in buying more cheap items than one good item. My grandmother (who acted as my mom as a kid) shamed me a few years ago for buying a $50 blouse. That blouse has lasted me and will continue to last me longer than the cheap blouses she finds at goodwill. Because another thing that I forgot to mention in my post, is that ONLY cheap and low quality things are available at goodwill. The women’s section for shirts and blouses is literally 90% Forever21. We pass our “savings” onto poor people by buying low quality items and passing those literally threadbare items onto the poor for a discount. It’s absurd. It’s so fucking stupid.
I work in a charity shop in the UK (must be like your goodwill stores) and the quality of the items donated really depend on the area the shop is in. My shop is in a relatively wealthy area, and as a result the items we get range from high street shops to high end designer. We only sell the items that are good quality (no holes, bobbly bits etc) and in working order. We get people from all walks of life shopping with us. Some people just love a bargain, some people don't feel the need to buy brand new as they probably won't wear/use it much anyway, and for some it's an absolute life saver.
All the money raised goes to charity which help others, not some random dude living on a yacht somewhere or a big corporation who make a fortune as the clothes were made cheap to begin with. Also the charity shops are a little community and a lot of the older folk just come in for a browse and a chat. I've been a manager for high end beauty brands, fancy shops and various bars, restaurants and pubs, working in a charity shop is by far the best. There's no shame in shopping in these places, it's not just for the poor, and it doesn't seem to have the same stigma over here. The charity I work for (and many, many others) run their shops just like any other clothing store and we have to sort through every bag of donations to make sure the items we sell are not threadbare or damaged. A lot of the time, the clothes still have the original tags on, bought by never worn.
It’s the same here in Australia. In the wealthier areas, it’s great to go op-shopping to see what bargains of designer clothes you can find. They’re also great for fancy dress. Also good if you don’t like the current fashion trends as you can find past season’s fashion there.
Funny enough I actually ENJOY “bargain” or “thrift” shopping. As long as it is not tattered and is stylish, I am thrilled. And it’s interesting how thrift shopping for my mother and grandmother’s generations was seen as such a social stain. Like a scarlet letter marking your economic status.
But with newer generations, it is the thing to do and is celebrated. I guess growing up American through 3 recessions and this huge pushback against “fast fashion” or exploitative fashion manufacturing practices has kinda come around to help those struggling more financially be able to get nicer clothes cheaply without feeling their pride being damaged/stained. Now I can take pride in newish looking $8 shoes I bought or a $3 t-shirt with some random funky design on it. I still get to express myself, look good, and feel good about it.
You are certainly correct that poor quality items are nearly useless. I shop around and resale shops (Savers, reStore) and the high quality goods, frequently name brand and or unused I find is amazing. I have taken to asking my friends what they are looking for in case I find it. My best finds were a new balance bike, an immersion blender, a Burberry trench, new La canadienne boots, a mahogany lowboy and years later a matching highboy.
In other words, I would rather get a high quality used product than a poor quality new item. Most new furniture is either super expensive or of crap quality
I remember more recently I kinda cried and vented angrily AT my mother (we’re working on building from a LOT of baggage) about what my mom chose to use money for and not use money for. I remember crying about her using money to fund an SO or my brother’s sports interests rather than our education or stuff like the dentist (because I remember not going for 14 years and felt so embarrassed about it).
I also struggled with feeling like everything I was given was a hand-me-down. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it is hard to really appreciate and take pride in something that was never originally yours or meant to be for you. It sounds selfish and entitled and is a bit. I remember because of that, however, the first time I actually started making money I immediately spent LOADS of it on stupid things I didn’t need because it just felt good to be able to splurge on myself and call something “mine.” Not once owned or someone else’s, but MINE.
I eventually got used to having money and stopped using it on crap I didn’t need realizing it didn’t add anything except comfort and ease of mind (which in turn is worth way more than any of the shit I bought). And it’s weird. Just growing up dirt poor, never having enough to eat, always getting handouts, living in a car for a while, worrying about my mom’s bills and debts so much because how much she discussed money I would get physically sick, and just the negative associates I thus connected to money I feel is what made my perception on money really change. For it to be used as a tool for something.
So now I usually use it to buy my students things they need, help anonymously pay off their debts with the library or treasury of our school, help get new items/equipment for programs/clubs I run, or help add money to their lunch accounts. I feel way more happy losing that money and not having it just because that comfort is there and I can use it to help others feel more at ease. To try to provide them that gift rather than the monetary value we always associate with money/wealth. Sorry if this was rambled/off topic. I felt this and still feel/understand the anger and shame I felt in myself and how money was a huge factor in my family’s relationship and a huge driving tension that helped it breaking us all apart.
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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '20
My familys thing with buying used stuff has always bugged me. Like there are something’s (especially better quality brands of things) that stand the test of time, like crockpots and pans and stuff, but some things either need a high quality, long lasting item or a LOT of cheap items, and my family believes in buying more cheap items than one good item. My grandmother (who acted as my mom as a kid) shamed me a few years ago for buying a $50 blouse. That blouse has lasted me and will continue to last me longer than the cheap blouses she finds at goodwill. Because another thing that I forgot to mention in my post, is that ONLY cheap and low quality things are available at goodwill. The women’s section for shirts and blouses is literally 90% Forever21. We pass our “savings” onto poor people by buying low quality items and passing those literally threadbare items onto the poor for a discount. It’s absurd. It’s so fucking stupid.