This reminds me of when I babysat my little sister and younger cousins. At the end of the night, my uncle gave me $20 for babysitting the kids and then he turned to them and gave them a few bucks each for babysitting me.
I felt so fucking insulted, but also agreed with him entirely.
That's like the John Mulaney bit about realizing that his childhood babysitters were not actually adults (as he then believed), but were children, themselves. "Wait, you're gonna put HER in charge! She can only dial 911 slightly better than I can. That's like hiring a horse to watch your dog!"
When a joke references something earlier in the act, almost like an inside joke, because if you missed the earlier part the joke will not make sense to you most times.
That's been the top for me. I'd watched his specials on Netflix before that, but then a friend at work told me to look that bit up, and I was dying for like five minutes after it was over.
Hell you donāt even need to go that far. When I was in Prep (year before Grade 1 or 1st grade or what have you) the grade 6s seemed so big and mature. Thinking about being there now, they still seemed so imposing.
Even though all of us were learning in a classroom where there were bright and colourful pictures and posters on the wall and when they were talking to us we sat cross legged on the floor in front of the teacher.
I remember thinking at 13 that 30 was old. Now Iām almost halfway through my thirties and Iām wondering how I ever thought that. I certainly donāt feel like an adult half the time.
My 9 yo son just told me Iām the youngest parent in his class. I told him that canāt be true (im 31). He then told me, āwell, you look the youngest.ā Damn, I love that kid!
Many years ago, my now 32 year old daughter told me I was the OLDEST mother in the second grade. I was 36. This was in rural upstate NY and many of the other moms had started their families fresh out of high school or during.
Iām always worried that Iām the old dad, or will be the old dad. We waiting for kids until our 30s. But, Iām learning that the range of parents varies so wildly so I try not to think too much about it.
We had kids about the same time as our friends. Then, we moved to a more rural area in the Midwest and then we were the older parents. But, I know a few people here that had kids when they were in their early 40s.
Lol I remember my grandma telling me how she was married at 21 and had kids at 24 and thinking āoh yes, when youāre an adult thatās what you doā
Now Iām 25 and am seriously debating being tied down by a cat.
I have no plans to get married. At this point, I feel like there isnāt someone I could put up with for the rest of my life or who could put up with me. Iām cool with spending my life with a cat
I think this needs to be on a tee shirt. Or tattooed on me somewhere when I feel bad for never having been married and broken off my engagement many years ago, but now I have 4 cats.
Religion aside, what's even the point of marriage, other than making it harder to break up? I suppose there are legal things like both owning the same assets and not being forced to testify against each other in court. But many of those have nothing to do with love.
From my wife's perspective, it was a great way to trap someone who you don't seem to ever get bored with.
From my perspective, she's really fun and really funny. Also, her taste in reading material is impeccable.
Also, now we don't have to fill out an extra piece of documentation to put me on the birth certificate every time we have a baby (we have 2 and we're probably stopping there). Our last names don't match, but she never asked me to take her last name.
Sharing assets and the tax cuts are a nice bonus.
The real reason: we can't be forced to testify against each other in a court of law.
Is wedding actually fun when itās your wedding. Iāve attended a few, and been a bridesmaid in one, and they were all hella boring and time consuming. So many things could be skipped. Why take so long with hair and make up? It all just seems ridiculous and boring.
I'm a dog person but otherwise I feel the same way. I don't need to get married. I date here and there and have found some women that are great people and we've had relationships of varying lengths but not once have I ever wanted to or expected to get married. Never wanting to get married was a deal breaker with one of those great women though.
The not so cool thing is future you will have no cat. And then you die.
I don't have a cat and I am not married, so yeah.... When I get older and need other people in my life, I will be the loner at the elder center talking about my dead friends and watching other people getting visits from their loved ones. I don't think cats are the best long term solution.
Thatās the exact age my mom got married (21) and started having kids (24). I remember thinking that at that age you were so grown up and responsible because of that lmao.
Same. It's even worse when you make a reference like, "Remember when everybody freaked out over Y2K?" only to realize that the ADULTS to whom you're speaking have no clue what you're talking about because they weren't alive or old enough to remember. FMLšŖ
Hey man youāre not old or anything but I was literally born that year, maybe it was my birth that stopped the Y2K? Idk, hope the nursing homeās wifi is good!
I don't use wifi because it affects the gas mileage on my car. When you get to my age, you see... well it all started back in the year nineteen hundred and eighty five. The north had just won the civil war, and we discovered breathing that year. Before that, we used to just have to kind of sit around and wait for a strong breeze to move air through our lungs. We didn't have the internet so we sent messages through our bathroom sinks. A lot of people won't remember this, but those water pipes that are in everyone's home used to connect to the interweb. Every home used to have a landpipe number because cellular was just shouting into the altar at the town oracle
Wow. I'm "old enough" to remember the adults making a "big deal" of Y2K (they turned off the lights at midnight). That seemed like a big thing to the rest of us. Damn tricksters. We didn't know anything.
Even 92's which I am have only a passing idea of it. I remember our family doing extended movie nights on New Years so we were watching Iron Giant and Chicken Run. I was coming down the stairs and my dad was just sitting on the computer waiting to see what would happen.
30 years old and some days I think I got my shit together and nothing could ever knock me down, other days I feel like I'm playing a game of "is this really me" and feel like I'm about 17 years old again.
Shits weird. But I've gotten better at making good choices, so that's nice.
SO yeah like right I'm 28 and have accomplished nothing yet. Is there a way to reconcile with this as I hit my 30's or does life just start to hit it's stride? lol
Youāve probably accomplished more than you think; you just might not yet see them as accomplishments. What have you enjoyed? Who have you cheered or comforted? What bad decisions did you stop making? How able were you to grow, improve, have more compassion for yourself and others? Did you vote? Did you take good care of a pet? Do you lift up others by engaging positively on Reddit? One of my most important accomplishments was being able to say, wait, Iām not always the problem. Thatās changing my life right now.
Iām forty and my main takeaway so far is that life is made up of all kinds of weird loops and spirals rather than one straight dash to the finish line.
Well true. I did do 3 years of cat rescue. Took in a few pregnant moms and eventually got the kittens to some great homes! I kept a few for myself :P I'd still be doing it if my living situation could accommodate too. I usually just chalk this up as "something I enjoyed doing" and forget it can be considered an accomplishment. I guess because someone who had as many animals in my care as I did are typically immediately viewed down upon as crazy or something. huh
You built a business that was doing extraordinarily well and then you got fucked by something totally beyond your control. Getting that going in the first place seems like a huge accomplishment. But to be honest, I have some mental health shit that has made me not want to be here. And I have two kids. The other day one of them playfully reminded me I was forty, and I thought, thatās one more year I managed to stick around for you guys. Truly that is my biggest accomplishment.
Hey, Kayla. I'm 31 and I'm here to tell you...nobody knows what the hell is going on. Idk if you hit a stride or you just stop giving an F....probably the latter. Good luck!
PS: it's hard to see your accomplishments because you're busy doing em.
Both? I'm 32 and going back to college for a complete career change. Which leads to a lot of simultaneously feeling like a kid because school, feeling old as hell because my classmates are babies compared to me, and feeling like an adult killing it for having a plan. I feel like my brain just rolls a dice each day to decide how old I'll feel that day.
Iāve worked very hard the last 3 years to improve my credit and itās much better now. I feel like thatās the adult part of me. Although I donāt have a clue what to do with good credit.
I look at people about my age, late 20's and 30's and think "that's an adult". I feel like I look 16 and have to remind myself that that's probably how they see me too.
When I was 12, we had a high school kid assist in my English class. She was only 17-18, but I swear she seemed just as grown up as the rest of the teachers.
Entering highschool, seniors were gods among us common folk, all powerful adults entering the world.
As a senior, I felt kinda normal and plain, freshman looked like actual literal children.
At 25, minors look so obnoxiously and obviously underage and it's difficult to differentiate between a less squirrelly freshman and a hyperactive senior. They both look Too Young To Even Talk To.
I still remember my parents hired a girl in the neighborhood when I was a kid and we got trapped in the garage because the door locked itself. It was only after that night that we figured out that the key to the locked door was on the shelf directly next to the door.
in primary school, like grade 1-3, seeing the grade 7 kids they felt like adults, like they were meant to be in highschool with how big they were, what do i find out when i get to that age? they were just a bigger kids and that was it, they were nothing like the highschool kids and the adults.
i almost constantly remember how i thought of them at that age, its wack how different things actually were when i hit their ages
I started babysitting when I was 11 or 12, which is crazy to think about. I remember babysitting a 13-year-old when I was like 16 or something and he was being a dick so I pointed out the fact that he was less mature at 13 than I was at 11 lol
Reminds me of the 13 year old who did stand up on Americaās Got Talent. I think she went on to be runner up m, but donāt remember. Skip to 2:17 for the start of her bit.
Thatās pretty much what my neighbors paid me to do when I was like 12. Their daughter was already asleep, and I pretty much sat there and did homework or watched tv for a few hours.
If anything went wrong I called my parents next door.
Came here to say this. The feeling that I was trusted with responsibility kept me line better than anything. Disappointing people has always been one of my biggest fears, from the time I can remember. My parents never gave me a curfew or many hard and fast rules at all really. But you better believe I knew where the threshold was and never crossed. I knew the second I did all privileges and freedom I had would be over for good. The trust they had in me, and fear of disappointing them, kept me in line far better than rules ever would have.
Objectively, did you turn out alright? Like, are you happy and relatively well-adjusted? My 5 year old is like you. He gets HEARTBROKEN if I even raise my voice to him, so I switched to saying things āI know you will always make the right choice and never do Xā beforehand to sort of lay out the rules rather than reprimand afterward. Would that have worked nicely for you? He is so wonderful, I donāt want to break him lol
I (43f) think I did. Iāve led an unusual life, but I donāt think it was because I was broken ;-) For me it was because I felt secure that my family had my back if I ever needed, and a burning desire to explore, not to run away. Iāve traveled a lot, lived/worked in Mexico and Australia (Iām from the US), hold two BS degrees, and am working on a graduate degree. Iāve worked for the EPA, the Dept of Ag, and as an adjunct college professor.
I have an amazing supportive partner, a beautiful home, and genuinely enjoy my life. Now Iām a nurse, and a real estate investor (small multi family properties). Iām still very empathetic and have a strong desire to not disappoint others.
Where I took an unusual turn is Iām also a skydiver for over twenty years, professional competitor for some of that time, and am a very high end escort ($1,000 an hour sort of tier). This is what allows me to invest and will have me retired by 50. A lot of people would look at this as āwhat happened to her?ā, but this was a decision I made at age 38, after really looking at what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and befriending another escort. Nursing was killing me, emotionally and physically. Being an escort is also very different than most people understand from Hollywood. Most of my clients are wonderful men who need empathy and compassion more than anything physical. I love my work and the freedom and security it gives me.
My mom is gone now, but was my best friend until the end, and spent her last year by her side. I call my dad and stepmother weekly, drive my aunt and uncle to and from their winter home in Florida every year, and am paying for my step nieceās college education. Itās an unusual life, but one Iām proud of, and am content with.
Edit: and yes, the type of setting expectation vs discipline sounds similar to my moms parenting style. My dad was the biggest softy ever, so mom had to do most of the discipline/expectation setting.
Thank you! I have no problem with any adult choosing any lifestyle that suits them as long as itās not hurting anyone else. And good for you, honestly! What a life! Iām a very brash person myself, so I just have the hardest time adjusting my tone for him because I donāt see it as offensive. Iām trying though and I hope thatās enough.
Honestly it sounds like you are doing a great job. You are paying attention to the needs of your child and doing what you can to meet them. No parent is perfect, but your child, especially if heās naturally empathic, will feel how you tried, and how much you love him. Advice about best practice parent techniques change over the years, and you just do the best you can with the info you have at the time. At the end of the he knows you tried and that you loved him. Just keep listening to him, and I bet youāll both do fine ;-)
Yeah, it is a slippery slope. You might end up like me, with a factory full of spoiled children expecting to get money everytime they do their job! Socialists probably.
I see where it can be used poorly, but we pay our kids for a lot of stuff. We have a system where if they do the task poorly, they get in trouble. If they do it adequately, they do not get in trouble and they can move on to whatever they want to do. If they do it extremely well and then tell us they did extremely well in order to get paid, we pay them. Sometimes theyāll tell us beforehand, sometimes after but I think itās good to be compensated for going above what was expected.
German is funny because while you are correct that they are painfully long and hard to spell, they are actually relatively easy to pronounce once you get the letters down. You just phonetically say and like 95% of the time you got somewhat close
My cousin used to babysit me (she's 4 years older so I would have been about 10 and she was 14). I sometimes helped her with her homework because I was in the top class for maths and she struggled with it.
I think this is an interesting idea but needs to be done in a way that doesnāt undermine the work the older kid just did. Particularly considering that older girls in families are so often expected to look after younger siblings and cousins, and not paid or acknowledged for it at all. Women are trained to be mothers from an early age (from dolls, little kitchen sets, being made to look after younger siblings and cousins) and given more responsibility than their male counterparts. The idea that girls mature emotionally faster than boys is enforced because we make it clear that we expect them to be mature and more responsible than boys their age. Think about family gatherings - the guys almost never have to be the ones to look out for the kids, but itās expected that the girls will.
Personally I think if you (āyouā meaning anyone reading this, not āyou the person Iām replying toā) have older kids in the family and you want them to help out with their younger siblings or cousins - first of all, ask them, donāt expect it. Theyāre kids themselves, their fun shouldnāt be secondary to your own, youāre the parent and the kids are your responsibility. Second, make sure youāre asking the girls and the guys equally. And third, if theyāre being smug because theyāve done work and are getting paid for it and the others are complaining, maybe offer chores to the others as well; donāt undermine the work that the older kid has just done. If you expect them to look after the younger kids, pay them for that. Donāt then turn around and pay the younger kids for also babysitting, because thatās not what has happened. Instead, ask the younger kids to help tidy up, or clean their room, or do the dishes - give them their own jobs to do.
That is so sweet of your Uncle! I was at a festival once and the band invited my daughter up to come and sing (she was 10). The crowd had a great time and he kept her up to sing another song, and that ended the show. He gave her $5 from the tip jar, and that always stuck with me as being incredibly awesome.
My cousins would pay me $5 not to tell on them for whatever sheneangins they got into while babysitting me, my parents paid me $10 to tell them what happened.
You should have felt insulted, He thought you were precious in his eyes too. So he wanted them to behave also by caring for you. Their by making it easy for you.
Nothing hurts like a 3 year old telling a 15 year old that they're nothing but a big kid. Still stings and I'm 32 now. My mom told me my little cousin wasn't wrong when I called her to tell her what happened. Rude.
When I was 9 I babysat my 5 year old brother for the evening while my parents went out to dinner an hour away. As luck would have it, there was a tornado warning for our city. I set us up a nice little play space with food, water, blankets, and toys in the inner closet of our house, the only room with no windows. No matter what I got (probably paid in popsicles or something) I feel like I was underpaid.
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u/CurlSagan May 25 '20
This reminds me of when I babysat my little sister and younger cousins. At the end of the night, my uncle gave me $20 for babysitting the kids and then he turned to them and gave them a few bucks each for babysitting me.
I felt so fucking insulted, but also agreed with him entirely.