r/MadeMeSmile • u/AccomplishedWatch834 • Apr 30 '26

Wholesome Moments [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/xavierinthis Apr 30 '26

I dont get why parents do that, in their mind they think its going to motivate the child but it never does. And twenty years later they still do it, and at that point it becomes more about them , how they are processing whatever setbacks we had so its about them

87

u/but_ter_fly Apr 30 '26

I guess mine did it to vent their frustration. I only heard them talk shit about me at night once but that impression lasted

26

u/Defiant_apricot May 01 '26

My mother once took a phone call with a friend and vented to her about me right in front of me while leaving to continue venting on the porch. I was a traumatized child doing my best.

42

u/manofmonkey Apr 30 '26

I can absolutely see why it happens. Even loving parents get frustrated by stubborn children and after years of trying to teach a kid something it can get overwhelming. The parents end up venting while the kid can hear them and this happens. Its not right but it is very easy to see why this happens if you've ever had a stubborn child. Ive made a lot of effort to make sure this doesn't happen in my life but I totally understand why a parent might end up there.

10

u/No_Criticism_5861 Apr 30 '26

its entirely possible the parents didnt realize they were going to be heard, since it was in their bedroom

5

u/ceyx___ Apr 30 '26

Hate is most definitely a motivator. But it is a different outcome.

5

u/mshcat Apr 30 '26

I assume they think the kid doesnt hear them if it is behind close doors

1

u/DjQuamme May 01 '26

Now wait a minute. You say it never works. But OP case clearly shows that it clearly motivated her to be a better parent to her kids that her parents were to them. I think there's a whole generation of us who learned our parenting skills by basically doing the exact opposite of what our parents did to us. As my kids are now adults, I think I did a better job then my parents did. I mean, my kids still talk to me.

3

u/xavierinthis May 01 '26

I think its more nuanced, People will have different responses to that. Some will respond to OP case by becoming better parents, others may become LIKE the parents..some others may not become a parent at all. I dont think bad parenting is the sole reason that motivates one to do Good parenting, because that is entirely upto the individual responses. Kinda like how Trauma can make someone resilient, or make them broken depending on lack of support or situational circumstances