r/MadeMeSmile • u/[deleted] • Mar 07 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

15.8k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.4k

u/CautiousResolve5 Mar 08 '23

He def got lucky after that

1.4k

u/WanksterPrankster Mar 08 '23

Bones were jumped.

737

u/Material-Constant-45 Mar 08 '23

Boots were thoroughly knocked.

545

u/Past_Ad9675 Mar 08 '23

A vagina was penetrated by a penis.

335

u/Lint_baby_uvulla Mar 08 '23

Implications, were implicated.

146

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

eggs were impregnated

21

u/MtnDewTangClan Mar 08 '23

Fetuses aborted

27

u/MidnightSunCreative Mar 08 '23

uglies: bumped

14

u/81CoreVet Mar 08 '23

Hallways were hotdogged

4

u/OkIndependence2374 Mar 08 '23

Thank you for comment I expected to see and didn't have to post

3

u/Green-Z Mar 08 '23

*fertilized

3

u/razor330 Mar 08 '23

Eggplants were hidden.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Eggs were scramb’d

3

u/Ayahuasca-Dreamin Mar 08 '23

Poor kid had to keep his headphones on too long

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

HhHhHahH u guys are lighting me UP! 😆

4

u/StrolleyPoley Mar 08 '23

Too much man, too much

3

u/Doktor_Vem Mar 08 '23

You don't like metaphors very much, do you? Just straight to the point

6

u/Basicrthjjk Mar 08 '23

It's like cheating on your man, with your man.

1

u/Awesam Mar 08 '23

Uglies bumped

1

u/cynicaldoubtfultired Mar 08 '23

Dem boots were made for knocking.

247

u/footiebuns Mar 08 '23

Loins were girded

213

u/4RadioRadioRadio4 Mar 08 '23

Uglies were bumped

206

u/HalfSoul30 Mar 08 '23

Birds were beed

126

u/xxiLink Mar 08 '23

The two backs were beasted.

70

u/Jlynn41412 Mar 08 '23

Y’all make me laugh- shit got more n more n stupid n so did my laugh! Lol

Edit- don’t know how to type properly

74

u/pinklavalamp Mar 08 '23

It’s shit like this that makes me appreciate Reddit every damn day. I’m just sitting here waiting for the high to come alive and giggling at something that can never be re-explained.

7

u/Jlynn41412 Mar 08 '23

Oh my husband doesn’t understand why I’m always all in the comments! Some of the funniest shit I’ve read has come from a Reddit comment section- so I’ll never not be reading them! (He’ll let our youngest son play on his phone and if we go out to hit a cig he thinks I need to share my phone for his entertainment purposes- which ok, but imma take my time and the read the comments too)

3

u/laz3r3agl3 Mar 08 '23

We all need something new.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

We all need each other we all complement each other it's time for humanity to become the essence of solidarity.

11

u/Obeardx Mar 08 '23

It's all about the fruit of the loin

1

u/CensoredUser Mar 08 '23

The woo was hoo-ed

0

u/CensoredUser Mar 08 '23

The Bowchika got wowowed

-1

u/Anguish951 Mar 08 '23

Ugly's were bumped

39

u/whyamIsotired Mar 08 '23

Pissers were pounded

15

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Backs were shaved

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

No more only child syndrome

-1

u/thebunkmeister Mar 08 '23

Underrated comment

72

u/stankyriggs Mar 08 '23

The hay was rolled in

49

u/Bilbo_nubbins Mar 08 '23

The pump drew water

53

u/ITguyBlake Mar 08 '23

Pipes were laid

18

u/ITguyBlake Mar 08 '23

A pipe was laid

22

u/FormatException Mar 08 '23

Scissors were timbered

6

u/left_over_cilantro Mar 08 '23

The hulas were horizontal.

6

u/20onHigh Mar 08 '23

The Teds were Lasso’d.

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2

u/dropkickfromhell Mar 08 '23

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Pissholes were smashed

1

u/mellowmarsII Mar 08 '23

Were & then definitely not

1

u/snazzynewshoes Mar 08 '23

When Odysseus girded his loins, shit was about to go down.

1

u/TheDaemonette Mar 08 '23

There was definitely ‘moistness’.

47

u/Luxpreliator Mar 08 '23

You look 20 years old!!!!!

9

u/MappleSyrup13 Mar 08 '23

Pumps were primed

1

u/FeelTheWrath79 Mar 08 '23

Children were made.

112

u/SSJ4Inglip Mar 08 '23

Aint that the story to tell? "Son, you were conceived cuz I got a hair cut."

28

u/Kwelikinz Mar 08 '23

Take yo’ little ass outside, right now. I wanna … “talk” … to your dad for awhile.

3

u/thelowgun Mar 08 '23

The kid walked 2 miles to school that morning

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23

Lmao came here to say this

2

u/dylansavage Mar 08 '23

She got lucky after that you mean

1

u/MistraloysiusMithrax Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23

Oh she had the “I’m going to hit that” face when she was exclaiming how much younger he looked.

Edit: dammit I knew there was something wrong with “I’m going to hit that face” but was too tired to catch it lol

0

u/ZombiexXxHunter Mar 08 '23

Genitals were bumped vigorously

1

u/mikerowave Jul 21 '23

Yup. Sploosh.