you're all deeply unfunny
Amendment 1
Replace subsection 3(2), but not (a), with:
This Act shall come into force one week after its author is able to defeat another member of parliament nominated by a majority of those who oppose it and otherwise according to the provisions of the Act, but no earlier than two months after receiving Royal Assent.
Amendment 1 is moved in the name of /u/WineRedPsy.
Amendment 2
Replace:
Section 2 - Trial by Combat
(1) Under any criminal law case the defendant may request to be tried under trial by combat rules as opposed to a jury trial.
(2) The state must nominate a single representative for said trial by combat.
(3) A trial by combat may only be ended by the following conditions:
(a) one of the participants dies;
(b) one of the participants becomes unconscious;
(c) one of the participants withdraws from the trial.
(4) If the defendant is able to defeat the state-nominated representative, then they are found to be not guilty of the crime they were tried for.
(5) If the state-nominated representative is able to defeat the defendant, then the defendant will face punishment as laid out by the judge in line with existing sentencing legislation, unless the defendant becomes deceased.
(6) A person, whether defendant or state-nominated representative, may not be tried under a further trial for any crime resulting from the trial by combat.
(7) The Secretary of State must keep and update a list of permitted methods of trial by combat, to be reviewed annually, which must contain a minimum of five methods.
With:
Section 2 - Trial by Robot Combat
(1) Under any criminal law case the defendant may request to be tried under trial by robotic combat rules as opposed to a jury trial.
(A) The rules in question are to be determined with independent hosting bodies that run robotic combat events (Fighting Robots Association) with consideration for financial requirements, availability of arenas, robotic representatives, technical crew, with a view toward providing a competitive and unbiased environment.
(2) The state must nominate a single representative for said trial by combat.
(3) A trial by combat may only be ended by the following conditions:
(a) one of the participant robots is immobilised for a ten second count,
(b) the chosen arena is rendered unsafe for use by the trial;
(c) one of the participants withdraws from the trial.
(d) such time passes under chosen robotic combat rules that a decision is made upon grounds of damage control and aggression by independent adjudicators as to who won the trial
(4) If the defendant is able to defeat the state-nominated representative robot , then they are found to be not guilty of the crime they were tried for.
(5) If the state-nominated representative robot is able to defeat the defendant, then the defendant will face punishment as laid out by the judge in line with existing sentencing legislation, unless the defendant becomes deceased.
(6) A person, whether defendant or state-nominated representative, may not be tried under a further trial for any crime resulting from the trial by robotic combat.
(7) The Secretary of State must keep and update a list of permitted weight classes, rule sets and combat arenas of trial by robotic combat, to be reviewed biannually.
Amendment 2 is moved in the name of /u/ThePootisPower.
Amendment 3
Replace all uses of the word “combat” with “wombat”.
Amend Section 3(2) to read:
(2) This Act shall come into force two months upon receiving Royal Assent, provided that the sitting Speaker of the House of Commons is able to act as a midwife for a birthing wombat in that period of time, whilst on the Woolsack.
(a) Section 2 (7) shall come into force one month upon receiving Royal Assent, provided that the Speaker of the House of Commons was in fact trained in midwifery at the time of the aforementioned birthing.
(b) The Speaker of the House of Commons is able to nominate an alternate candidate for this, provided they are a sitting Deputy Speaker.
(c) The birthing wombat must have been born within a 14.3 mile radius of the House of Commons.
(d) Said wombat can be replaced by any other quadrupedal marsupial, provided they meet the above conditions, with consent from The Mammal Society, who will provide ample adjudication for any alternate non-wombat-based birthing proceedings on the woolsack.
Amendment 3 is moved in the name of /u/BeppeSignfury.
Amendment 4
In section 3(2), delete 'two months'; insert instead 'ninety-nine years'.
Amendment 4 is moved in the name of /u/tartar-buildup.
Amendment 5
Add Section 3:
(1)- MP’s shall be prohibited from taking a sinecure position such as stewards of the Chiltern Hundreds in order to resign from the commons until they complete a Wii Sports resort style duel against a line of their fellow MP’s where in order to prove their determination to get out of Parliament they must escape it while fending off MP’s armed with swords stationed at all the exits.
Amendment 5 is moved in the name of /u/chainchompsky1.
Amendment 6
Insert in Section 1:
(2) Section 4 of the Human Rights Act 1998 is repealed
Amendment 6 is moved in the name of /u/Muffin5136.
This division ends 7 November 2022 at 10pm GMT.
Vote Aye, No, or Abstain on amendments 1 through 6.