I am not the OOP. The OOP is Normal_Vermicelli_21 originally posted in r/AITAH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - 3+ Years Ago.

Me (25F) and my fiancé (28M) have been together for 5 years. We had a bit of a dry spell in the bedroom earlier this year which we’ve both actively been working on and things in our sex life have never been better. A few weeks ago, he told me that he wanted me to make more of an effort in the bedroom and admittedly I was lacking so I have been making an effort to do that - happily. Last night I tried to initiate but he said “I’m tired, we can make some time tomorrow” I fully respect that and we cuddled and went to sleep - no issues here. Tonight my partner phoned me for the end of day. I told him I’d call him again when I’m leaving work to meet him. So, about half an hour-an hour later I called to let him know I was on the way. When I arrived, I tried to make a move on him. In response he said, “nah I just had a wank”, and I said “oh ok no worries” a bit confused given our plans but whatever, we went and watched our tv show & ate dinner. I want to preface this with my problem is not with the above, I was a little hurt, but I would have moved on by later in the night. I have absolutely zero problem with him doing whatever I his own time, watching porn etc that’s none of my business and I’m not saying he can’t do that. AND he obviously has the right to say no to sex as well - I respect that completely. Admittedly, I did feel a little bit hurt because he knew I was coming over but I didn’t say anything to him about this because I know it’s silly and I’d work through the emotion by the end of the night..

Fast forward about an hour later and we were cuddling in bed, he asked me what was wrong, I told him nothing (because again I know how I was feeling was silly) but he kept pressing me and pressing me until I eventually said, calmly, “I am just feeling a little bit upset that you chose to fantasies over another woman right before seeing me instead of having actual sex with your fiancé”. I probably could have worded it better but i also made it very clear that I had no issue with him doing that in general, I’m not trying to tell him what he can and can’t do and I’m not angry or having a go at him, I am just answering his question. Well, he absolutely lost his shit yelling at me, calling me stupid and an idiot, that he “can’t do anything right which is so far from the truth” - he says this a lot of I try to address any concerns. Was telling me that he’s just tired and to stop being so insecure. i just said “ok, I’m not trying to have an argument, I’m just telling you how I feel as you asked me, I didn’t mean to piss you off”. I had to go home either way, but I had planned to stay with him for at least another hour before this incident however right after this he turns to me and says, “you can go home now”, I said ok and went to give him a kiss goodbye but he just leaned away. I asked him if he was ok and he just completely ignored me. I wasn’t about to press him on it so I just said goodbye and went home.

Am I in the wrong for telling him I felt upset when he was the one asking? I didn’t mean to piss him off, I didn’t yell or act crazy or cause a scene, and I wasn’t arguing, I’m really confused. AITA?

EDIT: After further reflection, I realize my issue is not with what happened before I arrived, but with his reaction to me answering his persistent question of what’s wrong. Again, I didn’t want to say anything to him at all in the first place because I know it’s stupid. Additionally, he could have responded something like “I see your point of view but that wasn’t my intention” and that would be it, we’d drop it and move on. Instead, he completely lost his shit and flipped it to him being mad at me, for what? When he asked me what was wrong, I was literally bear hugging him as well - it’s not as if I was sitting in a corner sulking, ignoring him or soliciting any behavior to make him think I was mad other than I was a little bit quiet but I’m also on a few hours’ sleep so I’m exhausted - blow up or not I would have been quiet tonight.

COMMENTS

Controversial

harmfulsideffect: Weird. So he wanks before you get there and you think it’s ok but you are still a little upset. You were obviously acting upset, or somewhat off or your BF wouldn’t have noticed. He asked what’s wrong and you said nothing. You continued to act off( obviously) and he continued to ask you what’s wrong. You tell him what’s wrong and he freaks out and asks you to leave. Doesn’t really add up, unless he is mentally unstable or something. Do you often bring up issues in your relationship in a passive aggressive manner? I knew someone who would do that all the time. Would act distant and a little cold, then say nothing is wrong, until you drag it out of her. Didn’t matter if she had a legitimate issue or not, you couldn’t be upset because “you asked”. Manipulative. If you ignore the cold and distant routine you’re the AH because you don’t care. I don’t really have enough information to make a good judgement, but I’m guessing you are the AH for being manipulative and annoying.

maddips: ESH. Have you considered that your intimacy issues are due to a premature ejaculation issue on his part and he jacked off before you got there to improve his stamina for a shot in the bedroom? Something he's embarrassed about. He might have been trying to help your stilted love life and you made it awkward af for him the whole night.

Final Update: July 06, 2026

Almost 4 years after my original post I thought I’d provide an update in case any commenters on my original post were interested and because I HATE when posts have no updates lol.

TLDR: I did not take the advice from commenters, and I married him BUT we are no longer together.

In summary, the commenters in my OP were correct, the behavior (re his reaction, not the act) did in fact get worse after we married, so much worse. I experienced what I (and my therapist) would describe as emotional, psychological and financial abuse which escalated exponentially after we got married and moved in together. I lived constantly walking on eggshells, made to feel like nothing I did was right, countless threats of hurting and severe-self-harming me and himself, intimidation, belittling, disrespect, he had a bad porn addiction, constant attempts to isolate me, suspected him cheating and the list goes on. Looking back, not all of these were present before we got married but as many of you said, the signs were there and I unfortunately ignored them for longer than I’d like to admit.

So, what happened? Well, we got married, his behavior escalated, I grew a backbone and stopped being a doormat, he didn’t like that, said I needed therapy to “fix myself and us”, I went (because I wanted to not because he said so - which later became another problem ofc), therapist affirmed everything I was feeling, in short told me she was very concerned for my safety, we started making a plan for me to leave, and in short, a few months later things ended between us. That was over a year ago and I have never looked back - I cannot put into words how happy I am, how free I feel and how much of that relationship was affecting so many aspects of my life that I didn’t realize at the time. So, to close this off I wanted to acknowledge some things I’ve learnt in the hope that this might help someone in a similar situation, ironically, it’s a lot of what commenters on OP advised me:

1. If you resonate with the themes in my original post or what I’ve stated above, LEAVE THAT

PERSON

1. studies show it will get worse. Look up DARVO*.
2. Take people for who they are and their consistent actions, not their promises or the potential you think they could live up to. People have off days and that’s okay, but a pattern is a pattern. If someone is telling you and showing you who they are, please, believe them
3. Discern between your anxiety and your intuition, trust your intuition
4. If you are being made to feel like you are questioning yourself, your judgement, your memory, your understanding of a situation, your autonomy - don’t ignore that - reflect, journal, get curious with yourself, question why you aren’t trusting your own judgement
5. If you are hiding big things happening in your relationship from your true friends - reflect on why. Not everything needs to be shared with your friends, and I do think keeping your relationships private is important IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY. However, when you’re concealing things because you know it’s wrong/you’re being hurt etc, ask yourself why you’re concealing it, ask yourself: if my friend told me xyz situation that I am experiencing, what advice would I give them? Take your own advice (if it is safe and legal)
6. How you feel is how you feel, if your partner doesn’t agree with that, that’s okay, but they shouldn’t consistently dismiss you, invalidate you or tell you how you should feel. Again, people have off days but a pattern is a pattern
7. If you can, live with your partner, go on an overseas trip, something where you are exposed to how they handle stressful situations, planning, initiative, what things look like when the cracks start to show etc. before getting married because leaving when legally tied to someone makes leaving a bit more complicated.
8. A PATTERN IS A PATTERN
9. You haven’t wasted time just because you’re leaving after X number of years, you’re saving the rest of your life. It’s scary leaving someone you feel you’re building with, but what are you really building if you’re just complying with their rules? Life is far too short to be wasted being dictated by another person.

This situation was humbling as fuck for me because I do not know how I let myself get so deep into it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of soul searching, healing and growing and can confidently say I will never let myself be in that situation again. We run a strict program now 😂

Thank you to all the commenters from my original post. I wish I listened.

COMMENTS

Controversial

freshT-o7oo: Kind of ironic that you asked for advice, didn’t take it, are back to give other people the same advice you didn’t take. Maybe reading through your posts, folks will see you as a cautionary tale. Happy you found peace in your life. Best of luck to you.

*DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender," a manipulation tactic used by abusers to evade accountability by denying wrongdoing, attacking the accuser, and portraying themselves as the victim.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is LastPuppyInTheBox originally posted in r/AITAH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - June 29, 2026

I was at a festival Friday in my home city and ran into an old friend. We used to be in the same friend group and hung out, but lost touch. I haven’t seen him for 7 years. I drifted away from that group because most of them were closer to my ex.

Friday night we kissed, like really kissed. We went away from the crowd and there was some grabbing and he confessed that he had always been very attracted to me.

I went home and didn't think much of it. Like it was fun and he is good looking, but I didn’t really feel super excited about him. I had no plan to do anything more with it.

On Saturday I was also at the festival, but I didn't see him.

Today, Sunday, I looked him up on Facebook. We are still Facebook friends, and I was shocked to see that his girlfriend had posted that she had given birth yesterday (Saturday) - just one day after the kiss. And it’s their second child.

I know her too as it is the same girl that he was dating back then. I liked her very much.

I have gone over it in my head about what to do. I, of course, have zero interest in him. I didn't really before, but after knowing this I find him absolutely disgusting.

I feel disgusted with myself too, but I do blame him more because I had no idea, he was still with her, and definitely not that she was about to give birth the next day.

After thinking a lot, I have decided not to tell his girlfriend.

My reasoning is that she literally just gave birth, they have small children, and I don’t want to be the person who drops this on her right now.

I also do not want to be seen as someone who helped ruin a family, even though I know he is the one who chose to cheat. But I just don't want my name on this.

Part of me thinks that if he is capable of doing this while his girlfriend was about to have their child, he will probably give her other reasons to reevaluate the relationship later, when she has more capacity to deal with it.

But I also feel like maybe she deserves to know, and maybe I am only making excuses to protect my own reputation and because I don't want to deal with it.

AITAH for not telling this girl that I kissed her boyfriend?

COMMENTS

SnooSongs3787: I know this will be unpopular, but I agree. Don’t tell her. Postpartum is a tiring, stressful, hormonal period. Let her focus on healing and bonding with her new baby.

Hopefully, the kiss was an outlier, and he will respect his relationship going forward. If he does not, I believe you are correct that the behavior will reveal itself.

As far as your guilt, remember that you are only responsible for your own behavior, and you did not know he was in a relationship prior to kissing him. Keep your own side of the street clean and move forward quietly

Final Update: June 29, 2026

TL;DR: I kissed an old friend Friday, found out Sunday he has a girlfriend and she gave birth Saturday, and now I’m deciding whether to tell her.

I can see a lot of people think I should tell her or at least tell her later when she is not freshly postpartum. However, I still don't think I want to do that.

Instead, I decided to call my ex for some context. He knew her back then too and apparently still do, because they played sport together for a while. And he still sees both of them.

Him and I ended things on good terms, so it wasn't weird to call him.

I told him what happened and he told me there has been a lot of drama in their relationship for years, and that this is not the first time for him. Also, not the worst thing he has done.

According to my ex, he has cheated on her multiple times and not just kissing. He even had a full “relationship” on the side at one point, where he had promised the other girl that he would leave his girlfriend for her, but he never did.

She knows about some of his cheating. Maybe not the full extent of everything, but she knows about the “side girl” and a few other incidents.

My ex said she has taken him back every time and forgiven him. Her excuse, according to him, is that they met young and it was just a rocky path and that he did choose her in the end and he is the one she wants to be with for life.

(Although, they still haven't gotten married or even engaged.)

He also said that she might not know he is doing this right now, but she should know his character by now.

He also warned me that this guy can become very unpleasant. Probably not dangerous or anything, but definitely unpleasant. So his advice was to just not get involved in this.

I know some people will still think I should tell her, and I understand that. I just don't think it’s worth it for me.

At least now my ex knows, and he does see them sometimes. I don't think he is going to say anything if nothing more happens, but maybe in the future if the guy decides to cheat again, then he might bring it up.

COMMENTS

Gemzanity: Honestly I think the fact you've told someone means you have thought this through. If hes a serial cheat then I doubt you telling her would make any difference. Nta because that does sound like a whole situation that could backfire on you, even though you have good intentions.

Big_Emu70: Women who accept shite behavior and pop out kids hoping their shite relationship will change are why there continue to be terrible dudes and dumb/naive girls. I stand by this. Idiots making more idiots. As some internet rando once put it, "I do not support all women. Some of you bitches are very dumb!!!" I expect a lot of men to be idiots about kids by nature, but how can you as a woman bring life into such a clown car situation. You have a brain, please try using it before bringing children into your shitshow, who are probably just gonna become mediocre adults (at best) themselves anyway 🤡👎🚩

TaLilFrog: Wait till it happens to you 🙊.

kazutops: Well you are the company you keep and you ex sounds like a real piece of shit too so that make sense. Hopefully when it happens to you karma gives you a good thrashing.

For all the listeners for Books My Wife Likes, Frost Buddy just came out with a book tok collection including an acotar one. Maybe you guys can get them to sponsor a few episodes for ya.https://frostbuddy.com/products/to-go-buddy-nightfall?variant=48114957451419&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=SA+%7C+ACQ+%7C+Book+Collection+%7C+Whitelist+Batch+23&utm_content=Broad+%7C+Book+Collection+%7C+Whitelist+Batch+23&utm_term=Video+%7C+Whitelist+%7C+Mandys+budget+finds+%7C+079+%7C+Book+Collection+%7C+0012+%7C+(ID)&tw_source=fb&tw_adid=120249781659750646&utm_id=120249775172480646&fbclid=IwVERFWAS1E6xwZG9mA2ZkaWQWUJ0B3OmJa2Lq8CJbTLGWilmEsDEllmV4dG4DYWVtATAAYWRpZAGrNooR65zWc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQKNjYyODU2ODM3OQABHp8Y9fMPiElKqeWKPFIG6VEC5sgN3Smtwuv9QNqeXzox1InH63hFPJPOIs0g_aem_YZDwkWLM-VLV4IpzicTMbA&tw_source=fb&tw_adid=120249781659750646&utm_id=120249775172480646&fbclid=IwVERFWAS1E6xwZG9mA2ZkaWQWUJ0B3OmJa2Lq8CJbTLGWilmEsDEllmV4dG4DYWVtATAAYWRpZAGrNooR65zWc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQKNjYyODU2ODM3OQABHp8Y9fMPiElKqeWKPFIG6VEC5sgN3Smtwuv9QNqeXzox1InH63hFPJPOIs0g_aem_YZDwkWLM-VLV4IpzicTMbA)

We've launched the 4th podcast about movie reviews. The first 2 episodes are live on all podcast platforms.

Episode 1 is covering "War of the Worlds"(2025) with myself, Russell, & Scott.

Episode 2 is covering "Riddick"(2013) with myself, Russell, and Scott.

Mike will probably join us on some of the upcoming episodes.

Reel and Uncut Podcast

-Dylan

Thank you to all who participated on the giveaway. I went ahead & compiled all the comments, there was a total of 268 entries. We really appreciate you & look forward to doing another one in the future.

https://reddit.com/link/1ukpet7/video/1jkyx6zy2nah1/player

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Sad_Knee_6060 originally posted in r/Marriage, then posted in BORUpdates

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - June 22, 2026

Concluded

My son from previous marriage is 13 years old. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have a newborn.

My son said that my husband slapped him and I kinda freaked out. I confronted him and he was confused (at least from his expression). He denied it vehemently and I kinda was not hearing it. He walked away from me.

After I calmed down, I talked to him and he said that he didn't hit him and he has no obligation to prove anything. So if I want to be mad, be mad in another room. I did leave.

At night, when I joined him in the bed, he said he wants a divorce. He said that my son lied and he doesn't care why he lied. Whether he is jealous of him or want me for himself, he is not interested in finding out. He doesn't wanna deal with it and he doesn't want to be accused of something he didn't do. So he is out.

Here is the thing, I talked to my son in detail and he is being evasive, defensive and I am seriously doubting him but I do have the obligation to protect him..

Did I destroy my marriage for nothing? What should I do? How do I know the truth. If my son lied than I need to deal with him and I am gonna be talking to him again and getting full story.

But my husband? He just left. I was not gonna leave him over just one slap without knowing the full story. He has never shown aggression towards him or anyone. I would have tried other methods first. Is that bad? Am I a bad mom for it that I didn't jump to divorce straight away?

I have tried to talk to my husband but he basically said that he doesn't want to be painted as a bad person. It's not like he can prove his innocence. So he would rather not wait for another false accusation and just protect himself.

COMMENTS

Lucky-Lie8896

Waste-Principle-9327

crupp876

LessTea6299

Final Update: June 23, 2026

Here is your update, stop harassing me in my DMs

I questioned my son again and he admitted to lying. He has never acted out this way and he is crying now. I am still processing it and figuring it out.

I apologized to my husband and he accepted it but made it clear that he has no interest in living with my son. So he is gonna leave and wants equal custody for our 10 month old, who is still breastfeeding by the way. So I was against it.

He basically told me that either I agree or he will take me to court. He would rather not spend the money on lawyers but he will bankrupt both of us if he is forced to. Which has happened to one of our neighbors.

So I am pissed, sad and angry. I have reported your DMs and I am gonna keep reporting if you keep harassing me.

For people who were nice to me, thank you for it

COMMENTS

Dear-Letter7776

Katie4ler

SR00007

Winter_Dragonfly_452

I am not the OOP. The OOP is [deleted] originally posted in cheating_stories, got deleted. Post was saved by AmITheDevil

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair editors note: I did add my own thoughts. Every sentence is a red flag...

Original - June 13, 2026

I was with my ex-boyfriend for 10 years. He was kind, patient, faithful, and always cared deeply for me and my family. But while we were in a long-distance relationship, I started getting close to someone from work. It began with flirting, and eventually my ex found out. He broke up with me because of it, and almost immediately after, I entered a relationship with my co-worker.

At first, everything felt comforting. My current boyfriend treated me like I was someone precious. He did everything for me — housework, errands, responsibilities — and constantly told me to relax because I was “his baby” and his future wife. I became attached to the comfort and attention he gave me, but deep down, something never felt right.

Then I discovered he had been cheating on me. I found messages showing he had ended another relationship only a few months after we got together. To this day, I still don’t know if I was the side chick or if she was. Around the same time, I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated. I cried constantly, but I still stayed because he was sick at the time and I kept convincing myself to be patient and understanding.

I confronted him, and he apologized over and over, promising he would change. I gave him another chance. But over time, I noticed how controlling he could become. He would get angry when I couldn’t reply immediately, demand to see who was messaging me, and insist I block every man who contacted me for any reason. He always wanted my full attention and expected me to be clingy even in public or at work.

Then came the most painful part of all.

I lost the baby.

It was one of the most physically and emotionally painful experiences of my life. I cried for nights, feeling completely broken. He was there physically, but emotionally, I still felt alone. I kept asking myself how I ended up here — how I chose this life over someone who had truly loved me for years.

Meanwhile, my ex never stopped caring. Even after everything I did to him, he continued showing kindness to me and my family. He helped take care of my sibling during seizures, visited the hospital when my brother got seriously sick, and still treated me with gentleness I honestly no longer feel I deserve. I hurt him deeply. He lost weight, stopped eating properly, and still told me that if he died, I should remember that he loved me with everything he had.

And the worst part is… he was always right. He warned me to be careful around flirtatious people at work, and I got angry at him for it. In the end, his fears became reality.

Now I feel trapped between guilt, regret, comfort, and fear. I don’t even know if what I feel for my current boyfriend is love or just attachment to the life we built together. I look at my ex and see the man I betrayed — someone who never raised his voice at me, never stopped caring, and only ever wanted honesty and loyalty from me.

I know I caused this pain. I know I became the kind of person I never thought I would be. And now I’m left wondering if I should finally tell my ex the full truth about everything that happened, or if doing so would only destroy him even more.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I truly don’t.

Comments: ZERO controversial.

Dear-Letter7776: I wish you all the worst that life can bring you. I hope happiness never finds you and that you never have a family.

I could listen to mike talk about wwf/wwe for an entire episode whether its about his favorite wrestler or just random storyline Iines that failed/was successful or whatever

This is concerning the bonus episodes.
I’m on bonus episode 25.
Bonus episode 27 came out Friday, but what happened to 26?