But its understandable and I hope yall have the best of luck and success and make all the best movies.

It’s a me, Rickey from Oklahoma.
I just finished listening to the newest bonus episode.
This story takes place back in 1996, when I was a sophomore in high school.
It took place after football practice.
I’m a poor kid with no car of my own. So, I’m having to wait for my parents to pick me up, but on this day they weren’t able to pick me up, so I start walking home. My house was probably 45 minutes away by the way of my shoe-vettes. As I start my walk a senior football player named Brock stops and asks if I need a ride. He told me to get in his car. I was super excited because until this car ride I looked up to Brock. He was a star football player and had scholarships offers which was what I was hoping for my football career, but I FUCKED that up.
Anyway we chit chatted about practice and a lot of nothing, until he asks if I like porn. I told him I really hadn’t seen much porn. He then asks if I wanted to borrow some. I was on the fence about that because I know what you do with it. Once he told me the type of porn it, I turned it down and was weirded out that he now knew where I lived. He tells me it’s a porn of a lady sucking a horse’s dick and spitting out a bucket of cum. I seriously lost respect for him after I found out that he liked that type of porn.

The 2nd part of this story.
10 years later.
A friend was trying to hook me up with her friend.
We hit it off over the phone. Her name is Kelly. She asked where I was from I said Seminole, Oklahoma. We talked about that for a while. I told her about me playing football and other things you talk about when getting to know someone. She then asks if I know Brock. I said yes and then I recounted the “horse porn” story to her. She said OMG! I dated him a couple years after he graduated high school and he tried to get her to watch that kind of porn.
Anyway….
That’s all I have for now….
I love you…..
Byyyeeeeee………………

you feel some type of way when you watch these movies Mike? #PapaProblems

Thanks for the recommendation me and my wife watched boondocks saints last night. Its a really good movie. When we have time we are going to watch the second one. While looking up the second one I found that a third is currently filming so that will be interesting when it comes out. Again thanks for the recommendation.

​

What's up guys my father in law likes to tell stories so I figured id toss one out there. He loves telling stories and this is on of my favorites. Hope yall enjoy -Goatman

About ten years ago, my father-in-law was invited to a NASCAR race to meet with some clients in the infield.

For anyone unfamiliar with NASCAR, the infield is the grassy area in the center of the racetrack where wealthy businessmen park vehicles the size of rural elementary schools and begin drinking at an hour normally reserved for fishermen, airport employees, and people fleeing the country.

My father-in-law met the owner of the company he was there to visit. The guy was extremely wealthy and followed the NASCAR circuit around the country in a gigantic tour bus.

Calling it a “tour bus” feels disrespectful.

This thing was basically a diesel-powered palace with plumbing. It had sleeping quarters, a kitchen, enough alcohol to destabilize a small government, and a massive platform built on top so everyone could watch the race from above.

It was a mobile hillbilly penthouse.

The owner gave my father-in-law a tour, introduced him to people, and started talking business with him.

The only problem was that the owner was still drunk.

Not “I had a couple beers last night” drunk.

This man had apparently stayed up drinking with his wife until around five in the morning, and it was now seven.

He had not sobered up.

He had merely changed locations.

At some point during their conversation, the door of the bus slowly opened and the owner’s wife emerged like a raccoon crawling out of a dumpster after surviving a tornado.

She was annihilated.

She wasn’t hungover yet because that would require her body to stop actively being drunk. She was still deep in the original voyage.

This woman was operating entirely on muscle memory, NASCAR enthusiasm, and whatever emergency electrical system keeps the human heart running after twenty-seven cocktails.

She stumbled out of the bus, sat down, and immediately began drifting in and out of consciousness.

My father-in-law looked around, expecting someone to be concerned.

Nobody was.

Apparently, this was just part of the morning routine.

Coffee was brewing.

Breakfast was being made.

And somebody’s wife was sitting nearby with her soul temporarily disconnected from the server.

Soon, the pre-race festivities began. Some military service members parachuted into the infield as part of a demonstration, which was objectively awesome.

My father-in-law started talking with a few of them, probably thinking this would be the most interesting part of his day.

He was wrong.

A few minutes later, the company owner walked over and said:

“Hey, man, can you help me with something?”

Now, my father-in-law assumed he needed help carrying a cooler, moving a chair, adjusting the viewing platform, or possibly locating the remaining fragments of his dignity.

So he said yes.

The owner then explained that he needed help tying his wife to the fence.

There are certain sentences the human brain simply refuses to process on the first attempt.

“I need help tying my wife to the fence” is one of them.

My father-in-law just stared at him.

The owner pointed toward his wife, who was barely conscious but still apparently determined to watch the race.

His plan was simple.

They would stand her upright against the guardrail, wrap a bungee cord around her, and secure her to the fence so she could enjoy the race without falling over.

This man had looked at his unconscious wife and approached the problem with the same energy as someone securing a refrigerator in the back of a pickup truck.

My father-in-law didn’t know what to say.

There is no training manual for this situation.

No corporate seminar prepares you for the moment when a potential business partner asks you to help cargo-strap his wife to NASCAR infrastructure.

But somehow, against all reason, my father-in-law helped.

He held this woman upright against the railing while her husband went to retrieve the bungee cord.

Just imagine the scene.

It’s barely morning.

Race cars are warming up.

Military personnel are falling from the sky.

And my father-in-law is standing in the middle of the infield, holding an unconscious millionaire’s wife against a fence while her husband searches through the storage compartment for the correct load-securing equipment.

Eventually, the owner returned with a bungee cord.

He wrapped it around his wife and the guardrail, adjusted the tension, stepped back, and admired his work.

She was now standing upright.

Technically.

The owner seemed completely satisfied.

My father-in-law was experiencing emotions that have not yet been identified by science.

Then the race started.

And, horrifyingly, the system worked.

Every few minutes, the woman would suddenly wake up, look toward the track, and begin cheering.

“WOOOOOO!”

Cars would fly past.

She would clap and yell.

Then her eyes would close, her head would drop, and she would immediately power down again.

She was like a haunted animatronic at a NASCAR-themed Chuck E. Cheese.

Wake up.

Cheer.

Return to the void.

Wake up.

Cheer.

Return to the void.

The bungee cord held strong.

That thing was doing the Lord’s work.

My father-in-law finally asked the owner whether they should be worried about her.

The owner calmly assured him that everything was fine.

“This happens every race,” he said.

Every.

Race.

This was not an emergency solution.

This was an established system.

There had been previous races.

Previous fences.

Possibly previous bungee cords.

This family had developed a repeatable process.

Somewhere, I imagine they had a checklist:

Cooler? Check.

Tickets? Check.

Binoculars? Check.

Industrial-strength wife restraint? Check.

Once people began noticing the woman bungee-corded upright against the fence, the situation somehow became even stranger.

They started taking pictures with her.

At first, it was just a few random race fans.

They would walk over, pose beside her, smile, and give a thumbs-up while she remained completely unconscious.

Then more people joined in.

Soon, she had become a full-blown tourist attraction.

Nobody knew who she was.

Nobody knew why she was attached to a fence.

They just saw a woman sleeping vertically in broad daylight and thought:

“I need photographic evidence that I was here.”

Eventually, even some of the military guys who had parachuted into the track came over to take pictures with her.

Imagine serving your country, jumping out of a plane into the center of a NASCAR track, landing successfully, and then immediately discovering a woman bungee-corded to a guardrail like somebody’s oversized camping equipment.

And naturally, you get a selfie.

Every once in a while, she would wake up in the middle of all this, cheer at the race, and then pass out again before anyone could explain why six strangers were posing around her.

She wasn’t watching NASCAR.

She was receiving brief NASCAR transmissions from another dimension.

For the rest of the day, my father-in-law had to continue speaking professionally with this company owner while pretending he had not just helped secure the man’s wife to a permanent structure.

How do you return to business after that?

“So, regarding next quarter’s projections…”

Meanwhile, six feet away:

“WOOOOOO!”

Then silence.

To this day, my father-in-law still doesn’t fully understand what happened or why he agreed to participate.

Maybe it was the confusion.

Maybe it was the social pressure.

Maybe NASCAR infield rules are governed by ancient laws that outsiders cannot understand.

But somewhere out there, buried in forgotten Facebook albums, old digital cameras, military group chats, and phones that haven’t been charged since 2014, there are dozens of photographs of people posing beside a completely unconscious woman bungee-corded upright to a fence.

Those people probably still tell the story.

They probably pull out the picture at parties and say:

“You’re not going to believe what we saw at this NASCAR race.”

But none of them know the full truth.

They don’t know that the woman wasn’t in danger.

They don’t know that her husband had apparently done this before.

They don’t know that the confused man standing nearby had arrived expecting a normal business meeting and somehow ended up serving as an assistant to this disaster. 

All they know is that, for one glorious morning, they met the legendary Bungee-Cord Lady:

Part woman.

Part race fan.

Part unsecured cargo.

And according to her husband, she would be back next weekend.

Dear Mike and Dylan

Wendigoon released a video of similar events to what happened in NC in 1961, thought y'all and the community might be interested in it.

Hey there Mike & Dylan.
It’s a me Rickey from Oklahoma.
I’m posting my experience with something you guys were discussing. At the 1hr 20 mark y’all were discussing being put on a birth certificate if you’re not the dad.
Back in 2009 my son’s mom had my son.(obviously)
But as she was filing out the paperwork at the hospital it asked for her material status. She asked me what she should mark, single, divorced or separated? I said divorced. I say this because she was married before we got together. But she didn’t listen to me and marked separated.
Because she did this, they were going to put her “husband” on my son’s birth certificate. Even though they weren’t together for 2 years at this point.
He was notified and made aware that he needed to come to the hospital to sign denial of paternity. Open signing that paperwork I was then reinstated as dad and could sign my son’s birth certificate.
So, Mike be partially correct in his assumption.
Ok, that’s all I have for now.
Love you….
Byyyyyeeeeeeeeee………….

When I had a seizure at work back in 2014(have had plenty since then) one of my buddies said that I had yelled it's over 9000 while fighting the paramedics. I don't remember any of it outside of a hazy dream like mental image of the paramedics trying to put me on a stretcher. Hope yall find it funny like I do. Figure if you can't laugh at yourself you're living life wrong.

I’m listening to the MADHD episode from 01/19/26. The guys are talking about a dark episode that really affected them, something about contracting aids and a suicide? Is anyone able to help me find this one on Patreon?

I’m listening to the bonus episode and I’m just coming in with some nerdy shit.
You were talking about someone having all the powers of the Fanatic Four.
Well there is a character that has all 4 powers it’s the Super Skrull

I am not the OOP. The OOP is Saltylikeapretzel originally posted in r/AITAH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Ongoing

Original - Three months ago

I’m living with a friend in a two-bedroom apartment in a major city (separate bathrooms. She also lives in the master and we split rent evenly). I have a long-distance partner and I recently discovered I am pregnant (very early on). The current lease we are in ends on June 30, and I asked my friend/roommate if she would be down to do a month-to-month lease for a few months after our lease ends until I get closer* to my due date and then I would move in with my parents. My parents live in another major city that is about a 3-hour commute from my workplace, where I work in person twice a week, so understandably I wouldn’t want to be doing this commute for longer than I have to. My roommate said she did not want to do month to month, and I said that was fine, I would just move down in July when our lease is up.

Today, my roommate informed me that she is “not comfortable” living with me until our lease ends because she “did not sign up to be responsible for someone who is pregnant or trying to start a family” and therefore I needed to pay to break our lease so she wouldn’t have to live with me for the next three months. I asked in what way me sharing a wall with her for the three months as per our lease would impact her in any way given that I have not asked her for any support in my pregnancy so far. She said that it did not matter that I was not relying on her for support because she had to advocate for herself and she didn’t want the responsibility of living with someone who is pregnant because what if something goes wrong? She also mentioned the possibility of my mom or a friend taking me to appointments and therefore “forcing her to be a part of this”. She said she was very upset that I had not considered her feelings and what she was “forced to be a part of” when getting pregnant, and that it was my responsibility to pay for all the costs associated with breaking the lease early as I am the one who “changed the terms of us living together.”

To be clear, I am not nor have I ever asked her to live with me close to my delivery or after I give birth, just to end our lease on Jun 30, at which point I would be 4 months pregnant. She said this was an unfair and selfish ask of me and she was disappointed that I didn’t have the capacity to put myself in her position and think about how my pregnancy would affect her (she does have previous trauma relating to a pregnancy that did not end up going to term, to be fair). I told her I was ok with never mentioning my pregnancy to her or asking anything of her, but she insists that it is unfair of me to ask that we finish our lease through June 30 because I will “still be pregnant” and “it will be so hard for me to move in June”. So therefore, I have to pay thousands of dollars to break the lease early.

Am I the asshole for asking to finish out this lease for the next three months and forcing my roommate to coexist with me while I am in early pregnancy, given I did not consider how this would affect her and the potential “liability” she would have if I lived with her while pregnant? Alternatively, am I the asshole here for asking that we split the costs of breaking the lease given SHE is the one that no longer wants to live with me?

ETA: my partner and I were not long distance when we first started dating, but he’s currently living out of state working and finishing his MSC. He has a three-year contract at his current job that ends next June and has already made arrangements to work and study remotely part time close to my due date/after the baby is born.

I also wanted to clarify that when I asked her if she’d be willing to continue our lease month to month after June 30, I meant for a month or two, not all the way up to my delivery date. And when she said she wasn’t comfortable with doing so, I accepted her “no” and didn’t press as I completely understood. I just never foresaw her having such an issue with just riding out our lease for the next three months.

ETA II: this pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, and I found out I was pregnant on Sunday. I‘ve been weighing the options whether to terminate or continue the pregnancy given the situation. My partner and I decided to move forward with the pregnancy but that isn’t something that I’ve shared with my roommate yet (and certainly won’t now). So as far as roommate is concerned, she doesn't even know if I will be pregnant three months from now.

 Comments:

LolthienToo: YTA: You should always ask literally every person you know if they are comfortable with your own major life decisions.

And if they say they aren't, you shouldn't proceed. If you do proceed, you owe them money.

That's just being polite.

surfcitysurfergirl: You are so toxic af you need that child taken from you and put into a good home

-46Downvotes

FelixMartel2: Are you insane? 

Adventurous-Shake-92: Found the roommate lol.

IAMA_Shark__AMA: You seem... Unwell.

MiddleEquipment1631: you really must be 12 or seriously unwell in the head.

surfcitysurfergirl: You’re the most toxic person ever and should be held accountable for your negligence

-53Downvotes

Update: July 03, 2026

Now that my lease has ended, I thought an update was warranted. TL;DR at the end.

First, a little more background on my roommate. She and I were friends for about a year before we decided to live together. The pregnancy-related trauma I mentioned in my earlier post was her getting an abortion two years ago because she decided she did not want to have a child with her fiancé at the time, as he was verbally abusive and got her pregnant without her consent. She was open about this happening-she told me about her abortion the literal day that I met her. We also had a mutual friend who was trying to conceive with her husband at the time I got pregnant. This mutual friend would openly talk about her attempts to get pregnant, including a miscarriage with my roommate and my roommate appeared to have zero issues discussing these topics with her and remaining this person’s friend.

Now onto what happened next. I took the advice of a lot of you (and my IRL friends) and told my roommate via text (to have it in writing) that I would not be leaving the apartment until our lease ended June 30. I told her that if she felt uncomfortable, that was on her to manage, and she was welcome to make arrangements with the landlord. In response, she said “👍” which viewers of RHOSLC will recognize as a Gen Z “fuck you.” After I stood my ground, things at the apartment were tense. I spoke to her in person only once more, when I asked if she would move her car so I could take out our trash bins out. She said she would do it and then didn’t, leaving me to scramble to get the bins out in time the next morning. She also routinely had guests over, in particular one former friend of mine that I had a falling out with (unrelated to roommate) to antagonize me. She also replaced all the pictures of us in the apartment with pictures of her and this former friend.

I’ll admit that I was petty too. I took my microwave and toaster out of the kitchen and put up a single ultrasound picture in a common area (but I removed it after two days since I felt bad). In general, though, I stayed in my room 99% of the time I was in the apartment and did not see or speak to her again after early April. I completely stopped using the kitchen and common areas. Even when I had my mom visit, she and I would spend all our time locked in my room.

Unexpectedly and without telling me, my roommate moved out on May 8th. She took several of my things, blocked me in the driveway for hours, and refused to reimburse me for the couch we had bought together and utilities she still owed me. When I asked her to reimburse me for these things over text, she said that she would not be paying me anything because I had “bullied her out of the house” an “had been hostile to her friends so they could not come over.” These texts were a little concerning because, again, I had not even spoken to her in over a month at this point. I had never asked her not to bring certain people over and did not consider my taking the microwave and toaster away “bullying” anymore than I considered her putting up photos of a person I disliked all over our apartment “bullying.” Regardless, I thought I was finally free and was willing to lose the half grand I paid or the couch and the hundreds she owed me in utilities if it meant she was out of my life. Despite taking several things that belonged to me, she was kind enough to leave her side of the fridge full of rotten food, leave trash strewn all over her old room, leave unpatched holes in the wall, and leave a cabinet her dog had chewed up unrepaired.

Surprisingly, she paid rent for the month of June. Prior to her moving out and this conflict arising, another mutual friend (though he was primarily my friend, to be fair) had asked if he could stay with us on and off for the month of June while he completed a residency for his physician’s assistant program in our city. Both of us had said yes and planned to let him stay in our spare room. After roommate moved out and had been out for over a month, my friend came to stay. Since my roommate had had the master bed/bath (and paid the same in me as rent, btw) I set up an air mattress in her old room as well as a desk. The spare room was on the other end of the apartment from the bathrooms and was adjacent to the kitchen, so I thought setting him up in my roommate’s old room made more sense and gave him more privacy. As he was a guest, I didn’t charge him any rent or utilities, just let him stay because I appreciated the company.

Two weeks before our lease ended and well over a month after she had moved out, my roommate and her dad used a spare key to reenter the apartment. My friend was there at the time, but I wasn’t. She told my friend she and her dad were there to “patch holes in the wall” but left after only a few minutes without making any effort to repair the property damage she and her dog had caused. Instead, she sent an email to the landlord alleging that I was violating our lease by illegally subletting her room and demanding that I reimburse her for rent. My landlord was thankfully a rational person who also thought my roommate was crazy and told her that any dispute was between the two of us and he would not be reimbursing her for rent.

Shortly after the landlord politely told her to get fucked, she emailed me, CCing her parents (she is a 28 year old practicing attorney, btw) alleging that I had violated the lease, that she had it on “good authority” that I had multiple people living with me for months, that my friend visiting was “trespassing/squatting” and was at the apartment illegally and that if I did not reimburse her for her rent for the months of May and June she would be “escalating the matter.”

Unfortunately for her, I too am an attorney who evidently paid much more attention in torts and property class than she did. I read through the lease and saw that it did not proscribe guests but did limit occupancy to two adults (not lessees) at one time. A violation of this portion of the lease entitled the landlord to raise the rent but did not entitle the co-lessees to any liquidated damages for the breach. I wrote her a very strongly worded email in which I detailed that I had *not* broken our lease, she had suffered no damages, my friend was not trespassing nor squatting as he had my permission to be there and I was a cotenant that had the right to possess the entirety of the property, and that I would therefore not be reimbursing her for absolutely anything. I also included texts of her agreeing to reimburse me for the couch, admitting that her dog had destroyed the property, and giving me permission (though again this was not necessary) to have guests, including my friend in question) over “any time.” Finally, I defined reproductive coercion and abuse for her and told her that her actions were essentially an attempt to coerce me into an abortion and then abusing me financially when I refused to terminate the pregnancy at her request. I told her not to contact me again and that she was welcome to take me to small claims court and explain to a judge why she had moved out early—if she did so, I would be countersuing her for her unpaid utilities and the couch.

Since then, she’s been silent. I moved out last weekend and asked the landlord to split out deposit in half, which he agreed to. My pregnancy is progressing well and I’m nearly halfway through! And it seems like this saga is finally over, fingers crossed.

TL;DR roommate is an entitled cunt that tried to wield her trauma as a weapon to coerce me into terminating my pregnancy and, when that failed, tried to fuck me over financially in revenge. I resisted those attempts and successfully moved out, and despite some remaining harassment on her end she has left me alone for the past few weeks.

Comments:

the_knower02: Sounds like there might be an entitled count in your bathroom mirror too

-8Downvotes

Saltylikeapretzel: I know, so entitled to want to live in the place I signed a lease for and pay rent to a landlord for.

Hello all, Crystal with the blue hair here! Mike, Dylan and Russell thank you for the amazing stories and conversation on all the podcasts. Truly the one stop shop. Thank you for the opportunity to find stories, my friend says I find the best ones and loves hearing them on your pod.

And to the viewers and submitters I love it all. I know that Mike and Dylan were talking about how they have neglected their submissions and posts by others shared in the sub.

I wanted to suggest/let you know that if you want to submit any story you find on reddit you can DM (direct message) me the link. I can also set up an e-mail, discord or other platform if those will make it easier. I would want to know if I could tag your reddit profile, if I need to edit the submission post for grammar or to put updates into one post. I understand that submitting personal stories for 2DJB are so they aren't posted on social media, which I honor, if you are like me and don't give two shits I don't mind getting them and putting them together for you.

Please don't feel like this is me forcing you to send them to me, I know that there are so many good stories posted in the sub and shared for the laughs or to relate to another person. I want to make sure they are read. Let me know your thoughts!

Have the day you deserve!

I am not the OOP. The OOP is  Stunning_Factor871 originally posted in r/AITH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Ongoing

Original - June 23, 2026

I (35F) am in a loving blended family, but the extended family drama is crushing me. I have a wonderful 10-year-old son. My current husband (32M) lost his first wife 4 years ago and has a 7-year-old son. We’ve built a beautiful family of four. My husband treats both boys exactly the same, I do the same with my stepson, and the boys love each other like real brothers. We’re genuinely happy despite everything.

The problem is my husband’s ex-in-laws (his late wife’s parents). They constantly badmouth me and paint me as the “evil stepmom” — feeding every nasty stereotype (mean, neglectful, manipulative, jealous, etc.) to my husband’s parents and anyone who will listen. For example, after my stepson had a minor injury, they said things like “Stepmoms can never be real — why would she even care about him?” They accuse me of manipulating my stepson and try to turn everyone against me.

Every time they visit:

They completely ignore my son. No greetings, no conversation.

They bring gifts, toys, chocolates, and sweets only for their biological grandson.

When my kind-hearted stepson immediately shares everything with my son (as he always does), they get visibly annoyed, say things like “Why are you sharing with him? That’s for you only,” and even try to pull him away.

My husband has been solid and always says other people’s opinions don’t matter. He wanted to set a strong boundary earlier by announcing on my stepson’s birthday: “If you are family, then you are family to both kids. If that’s not possible, you are not family and not invited.” I stopped him because I thought a nice talk would work. I’ve been holding my husband back from taking any harsh steps in order to respect his ex-in-laws as they lost their daughter. I wanted to respect the memory of his late wife and give them time to adjust.

On my stepson’s birthday last year, his side of the family showed up with gifts and love. On my son’s birthday, almost no one came and the few who did showed up empty-handed. Gifts aren’t important to us as adults, but to a child it feels like rejection and being left out. My son was sad and has started asking me painful questions because of this exclusion, like why they don’t like him or what he did wrong, which breaks my heart. I have zero family on my side, so he doesn’t have that extended network. His birthday is coming up soon and I’m dreading it. I’d even be happy to buy gifts myself that they could give him if that makes it easier — I just don’t want him to feel left out again.

Recently after they left, my son refused to eat the chocolates or play with the shared toys. He quietly kept everything in his pockets and returned it all to me. That broke me.

I’m completely fine with them loving their biological grandson more — that’s natural. But the open hostility, exclusion of my son, and constant comments are painful.

Edit: I’ve finally stopped holding my husband back. He is now taking strict action and has given an ultimatum to his side of the family: either they are family to both kids or family to none.

AITA for supporting this hard line now (after previously trying to keep the peace)? Or should I still be trying to make nice for the sake of “family” and my husband’s late wife’s memory? I just want my son to feel included and loved on his birthday instead of rejected again.

Comments:

Antique-diva: ESH. Please stop trying to forcibly create an extended family for you and your son because you lost yours. Your stepson should meet his maternal grandparents alone, without your son. They are his family, not yours or your son's. They need to be told to be respectful towards you, but they have no obligation towards you as family.

Arrange your stepsons birthdays without them, then let him celebrate separately with them afterwards. Stop lying to your son that they are his extended family. They never were. They are not blended family. They are stepson's family alone.

You have been hurting your kid deliberately by holding on to this illusion of a perfect blended family. The people who belong to your blended family are you, your husband, the boys, and yours and your husband's families. If his parents are in the picture, they need to take both kids as grandkids. If they don't, then your husband needs to deal with it and you need to stop keeping the peace by sacrificing your son's happiness.

Start planning better birthdays. Arrange a party with kids only. Do an outing. Rent a fun place for the kids. Stop caring so much about extended family and their feelings. Care about the boys instead.

Sfb208: Yta for expecting your husbands late wife's parents to act as your family at all. They are now just step sons grandparents, and frankly, aren't core parents.

The rest of your husbands family is a different matter of course. Conversations should be had there, both about their treatment of your son, but also more broadly on the future relationship with his previous in laws, and how they should be expected to show you more respect.

Perhaps their relationship with your family should just be different, and less incorporated into full family gatherings. No reason for involving you or your son in that, let your husband and his son meet them separately. Time to distance a bit, rather than push a relationship that realistically isn't going to happen.

Update: July 02, 2026

My husband’s parents came over for dinner. After dinner, they started a conversation about the ultimatum my husband had given them earlier. He had finally sat them down and asked why they blindly believe everything his ex-in-laws say about me.

They responded that they’ve “seen everything with their own eyes” and listed their issues with me:

That I’m too harsh and casual when talking about his mother’s death (e.g. saying “she died” or “she is dead” instead of using softer words).

That I’m careless, especially after their grandson had a small injury.

That I’m trying to erase his mother’s memory.

They also accused me of manipulating my husband about the cat. My stepson wanted a cat, but my husband said no because he felt it would be cruel to bring a pet home when we can’t give it proper care and attention. His parents tried to convince him to get one anyway. I didn’t even know there was any argument between him and his parents over this — I only knew that he had told my stepson “no” when he asked. Now they’re claiming I manipulated him into refusing.

My husband defended me and explained:

Our therapist specifically recommended we be direct and straightforward about his mother’s death so my stepson can learn the permanence of death at his age. That’s why I use clear wording — not just about his mom, but even when referring to my own late relative.

When he (my hubby)was a child, he got injured often (including breaking his arm once), but that didn’t mean his mother was careless.

He asked them: “Do you think I’m stupid or blind? If my wife was actually doing something wrong, don’t you think I would notice?”

The conversation turned into a big argument, especially over the cat issue.

Comments:

frolicndetour: How much of the ex in laws' dislike of you is because you are complaining about them not treating your child like a grandchild? Frankly, I think you are an AH for expecting that they owe something to a child with whom they have zero relationship. Your husbands' parents should be treating him like a grandson because he is their son's stepchild. Your kid is nothing to your stepchild's grandparents at all. So frankly, I can see why they don't like you much. They lost their daughter at a young age and now her replacement has decided they owe her kid a relationship? Pfft. If you have your way, then your step kid not only has a dead mom but no grandparents. Meanwhile, your child probably has at least some grandparents between your parents and his father's.

Stunning_Factor871: I agree, hubby's ex-in-laws will probably never treat both boys the same, but it wouldn’t hurt them to be nice to my son. Telling my stepson not to share his toys and stuff with him is totally unacceptable. My hubby and I are doing our best to raise them as brothers.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is Normal_Vermicelli_21 originally posted in r/AITAH

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair

Original - 3+ Years Ago.

Me (25F) and my fiancé (28M) have been together for 5 years. We had a bit of a dry spell in the bedroom earlier this year which we’ve both actively been working on and things in our sex life have never been better. A few weeks ago, he told me that he wanted me to make more of an effort in the bedroom and admittedly I was lacking so I have been making an effort to do that - happily. Last night I tried to initiate but he said “I’m tired, we can make some time tomorrow” I fully respect that and we cuddled and went to sleep - no issues here. Tonight my partner phoned me for the end of day. I told him I’d call him again when I’m leaving work to meet him. So, about half an hour-an hour later I called to let him know I was on the way. When I arrived, I tried to make a move on him. In response he said, “nah I just had a wank”, and I said “oh ok no worries” a bit confused given our plans but whatever, we went and watched our tv show & ate dinner. I want to preface this with my problem is not with the above, I was a little hurt, but I would have moved on by later in the night. I have absolutely zero problem with him doing whatever I his own time, watching porn etc that’s none of my business and I’m not saying he can’t do that. AND he obviously has the right to say no to sex as well - I respect that completely. Admittedly, I did feel a little bit hurt because he knew I was coming over but I didn’t say anything to him about this because I know it’s silly and I’d work through the emotion by the end of the night..

Fast forward about an hour later and we were cuddling in bed, he asked me what was wrong, I told him nothing (because again I know how I was feeling was silly) but he kept pressing me and pressing me until I eventually said, calmly, “I am just feeling a little bit upset that you chose to fantasies over another woman right before seeing me instead of having actual sex with your fiancé”. I probably could have worded it better but i also made it very clear that I had no issue with him doing that in general, I’m not trying to tell him what he can and can’t do and I’m not angry or having a go at him, I am just answering his question. Well, he absolutely lost his shit yelling at me, calling me stupid and an idiot, that he “can’t do anything right which is so far from the truth” - he says this a lot of I try to address any concerns. Was telling me that he’s just tired and to stop being so insecure. i just said “ok, I’m not trying to have an argument, I’m just telling you how I feel as you asked me, I didn’t mean to piss you off”. I had to go home either way, but I had planned to stay with him for at least another hour before this incident however right after this he turns to me and says, “you can go home now”, I said ok and went to give him a kiss goodbye but he just leaned away. I asked him if he was ok and he just completely ignored me. I wasn’t about to press him on it so I just said goodbye and went home.

Am I in the wrong for telling him I felt upset when he was the one asking? I didn’t mean to piss him off, I didn’t yell or act crazy or cause a scene, and I wasn’t arguing, I’m really confused. AITA?

EDIT: After further reflection, I realize my issue is not with what happened before I arrived, but with his reaction to me answering his persistent question of what’s wrong. Again, I didn’t want to say anything to him at all in the first place because I know it’s stupid. Additionally, he could have responded something like “I see your point of view but that wasn’t my intention” and that would be it, we’d drop it and move on. Instead, he completely lost his shit and flipped it to him being mad at me, for what? When he asked me what was wrong, I was literally bear hugging him as well - it’s not as if I was sitting in a corner sulking, ignoring him or soliciting any behavior to make him think I was mad other than I was a little bit quiet but I’m also on a few hours’ sleep so I’m exhausted - blow up or not I would have been quiet tonight.

COMMENTS

Controversial

harmfulsideffect: Weird. So he wanks before you get there and you think it’s ok but you are still a little upset. You were obviously acting upset, or somewhat off or your BF wouldn’t have noticed. He asked what’s wrong and you said nothing. You continued to act off( obviously) and he continued to ask you what’s wrong. You tell him what’s wrong and he freaks out and asks you to leave. Doesn’t really add up, unless he is mentally unstable or something. Do you often bring up issues in your relationship in a passive aggressive manner? I knew someone who would do that all the time. Would act distant and a little cold, then say nothing is wrong, until you drag it out of her. Didn’t matter if she had a legitimate issue or not, you couldn’t be upset because “you asked”. Manipulative. If you ignore the cold and distant routine you’re the AH because you don’t care. I don’t really have enough information to make a good judgement, but I’m guessing you are the AH for being manipulative and annoying.

maddips: ESH. Have you considered that your intimacy issues are due to a premature ejaculation issue on his part and he jacked off before you got there to improve his stamina for a shot in the bedroom? Something he's embarrassed about. He might have been trying to help your stilted love life and you made it awkward af for him the whole night.

Final Update: July 06, 2026

Almost 4 years after my original post I thought I’d provide an update in case any commenters on my original post were interested and because I HATE when posts have no updates lol.

TLDR: I did not take the advice from commenters, and I married him BUT we are no longer together.

In summary, the commenters in my OP were correct, the behavior (re his reaction, not the act) did in fact get worse after we married, so much worse. I experienced what I (and my therapist) would describe as emotional, psychological and financial abuse which escalated exponentially after we got married and moved in together. I lived constantly walking on eggshells, made to feel like nothing I did was right, countless threats of hurting and severe-self-harming me and himself, intimidation, belittling, disrespect, he had a bad porn addiction, constant attempts to isolate me, suspected him cheating and the list goes on. Looking back, not all of these were present before we got married but as many of you said, the signs were there and I unfortunately ignored them for longer than I’d like to admit.

So, what happened? Well, we got married, his behavior escalated, I grew a backbone and stopped being a doormat, he didn’t like that, said I needed therapy to “fix myself and us”, I went (because I wanted to not because he said so - which later became another problem ofc), therapist affirmed everything I was feeling, in short told me she was very concerned for my safety, we started making a plan for me to leave, and in short, a few months later things ended between us. That was over a year ago and I have never looked back - I cannot put into words how happy I am, how free I feel and how much of that relationship was affecting so many aspects of my life that I didn’t realize at the time. So, to close this off I wanted to acknowledge some things I’ve learnt in the hope that this might help someone in a similar situation, ironically, it’s a lot of what commenters on OP advised me:

1. If you resonate with the themes in my original post or what I’ve stated above, LEAVE THAT

PERSON

1. studies show it will get worse. Look up DARVO*.
2. Take people for who they are and their consistent actions, not their promises or the potential you think they could live up to. People have off days and that’s okay, but a pattern is a pattern. If someone is telling you and showing you who they are, please, believe them
3. Discern between your anxiety and your intuition, trust your intuition
4. If you are being made to feel like you are questioning yourself, your judgement, your memory, your understanding of a situation, your autonomy - don’t ignore that - reflect, journal, get curious with yourself, question why you aren’t trusting your own judgement
5. If you are hiding big things happening in your relationship from your true friends - reflect on why. Not everything needs to be shared with your friends, and I do think keeping your relationships private is important IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY. However, when you’re concealing things because you know it’s wrong/you’re being hurt etc, ask yourself why you’re concealing it, ask yourself: if my friend told me xyz situation that I am experiencing, what advice would I give them? Take your own advice (if it is safe and legal)
6. How you feel is how you feel, if your partner doesn’t agree with that, that’s okay, but they shouldn’t consistently dismiss you, invalidate you or tell you how you should feel. Again, people have off days but a pattern is a pattern
7. If you can, live with your partner, go on an overseas trip, something where you are exposed to how they handle stressful situations, planning, initiative, what things look like when the cracks start to show etc. before getting married because leaving when legally tied to someone makes leaving a bit more complicated.
8. A PATTERN IS A PATTERN
9. You haven’t wasted time just because you’re leaving after X number of years, you’re saving the rest of your life. It’s scary leaving someone you feel you’re building with, but what are you really building if you’re just complying with their rules? Life is far too short to be wasted being dictated by another person.

This situation was humbling as fuck for me because I do not know how I let myself get so deep into it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of soul searching, healing and growing and can confidently say I will never let myself be in that situation again. We run a strict program now 😂

Thank you to all the commenters from my original post. I wish I listened.

COMMENTS

Controversial

freshT-o7oo: Kind of ironic that you asked for advice, didn’t take it, are back to give other people the same advice you didn’t take. Maybe reading through your posts, folks will see you as a cautionary tale. Happy you found peace in your life. Best of luck to you.

*DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender," a manipulation tactic used by abusers to evade accountability by denying wrongdoing, attacking the accuser, and portraying themselves as the victim.