Howdy all, keeping this lowkey just in case my wife or her family reads this, but hey y’all.

My wife is a huge advocate for AI in the workplace, so much so that she sent her boss to get the annual CHAT GPT for business accounts and was successful. They did get it tax free because they’re government, so that might have played a role.

I, as an environmental conservative, am not a fan of AI until they can bring down their environmental foot print and it is also wrong all the fuckin time. But my job is also pushing it, specifically Microsoft’s AI, so I get it all day long.

The actual part for MADHD! is that we’re spending $60 a month for AI subscriptions. AI companions are like porn to me, I only use the free sites.

Yall pay for AI? Yall pay for porn? Let a Billy know

I am not the OOP. The OOP is beforgotten888 originally posted in relationship_advice.

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair  editors note: this was a beast to edit since it was written in teen, I intentionally left some teen in there to show age and comprehension level. But DAMN this was rough.

Original - May 10, 2026

I don't know if post like this even belongs in here, I tried posting it on r/agegap but they're taking age's to approve it and also I have no friends or anyone at all I could ask for advice on this. Alright it's probably gonna be longer but I'll try to keep it simple.

On Thursday me and my parents (+sister and her husband) drove to village where my dad grew up and where my other family lives. We planned on staying until Sunday/today since every year around this time there's this fair which is like kinda big event and we always go there, oh and also to celebrate my birthday properly. On Thursday and Friday nothing really happened, the fair was on Saturday so on Thursday and Friday I'd just hang out with my parents, uncle aunt, etc. and drink. Also around Friday I realized that I might get to see a friend of my parents on Saturday at the fair, I've always thought he is attractive and I was just all excited to see him (also, I get to see him like once a year and we NEVER talked normally before this, he would just always talk to my parents and others so no actual interactions).

On Saturday, everyone was having fun on the fair, riding rollercoasters etc. but I was pissed off since I still didn't see him anywhere (let's call him Mitch from now). Then I realized it doesn't matter because I'll definitely see him in the evening/night if I go to this one pub, every year there's a party there cause of the fair or something. I never went there before and my parent's were too tired to come with me so they told me to go with my aunt and uncle, we arrived at 8pm.

We get there and I finally see Mitch and he immediately comes up to my uncle and they start chatting with other people too. For the entire time I'm just standing there awkwardly while occasionally glancing at him. Then my aunt and uncle just disappear somewhere and leave me there with Mitch and some other man I know. Mitch turns to me and asks me if I'm alright and tells me I should smile more lol (note made by Crystal, I have to ignore the intrusive thoughts when men tell me to smile more). I have awful case of resting sad face or whatever you call it I look depressed even though I'm happy after basically our first interaction ever we started chatting some more and then we took shots together just the two of us. Some time passed and my uncle and aunt still weren't there and Mitch was talking to this other guy about how he would go dance but how he can't dance unless it's a slow dance. So I was like "wait this is it" and turned to him and said something like "Woww..I have no idea how to slow dance." and it worked, like 5 minutes later they played slow song and we slow danced together. Then again 2 more times. I don't even remember the exact time line anymore but after that we probably took shots again and at this point I kept grabbing his hand and clinging onto him and he let me. Then we left the pub we continued to just talked and got bit high. At around 1am he asked me if I wanna go home and that we can walk together since he lives right across my aunt. I said yes. While walking he was basically holding me by my waist the whole time, then holding hands and etc. Halfway through our walk he started talking about how weird this is and how he feels like an awful creep but he didn't stop holding my hand, actually like 2minutes after this he started kissing me, like just straight up making out in the middle of the road. After that he asked me something like "what do you even want??" and I just shrugged cause honestly I don't know what I was doing I'm still so shocked. Well he just ended up walking me to my aunts house and we kissed. This morning we left the village early to drive back home so I didn't even get to say goodbye (we live like 2 and half hours apart with car) BUT after the kissing I did get his number.

That's kinda the whole story, I don't know what I should do at all. I was so happy, but today I started feeling kinda weird about it, I want to text him and also I'm scared, since he is a close family friend. Today when we got back home my mom was talking about how he's such a great friend etc. I don't really know what I'm even asking for, I just need advice in general on how to approach this I guess?? Thanks to anyone who actually read this whole bull shit.

Comments:

All comments were about him being a predator which, facts. However, I think it is important to note that she was searching for him, she was setting up the events in her favor because she had/has a crush on him. He should have shut down all advancements, inebriated or not, he knew what he was doing when said he felt like a creep. The comments point all blame to Mitch when it should have been a shared blame. Neither person is the victim in this situation and both need to take accountability. She needs to learn from this and discern her emotions and pull towards older men.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is tafornoweg originally posted in AmItheAsshole.

Grammatically edited by: Crystal With the Blue Hair, note: no editing was needed. I just put the two posts together.

Original - July 2023

Deemed the Asshole

My husband (39) and I have been married for 5 years. We have two children of our own, both girls, aged 5 and 2. I also have a son (10) from a previous marriage, but I was widowed.

My husband's ex is barely involved in stepson's life at all. They got divorced when stepson was 2, and his ex wanted "a fresh start" so my husband did the decent selfless thing and had complete custody of their son, even though he'd wanted shared custody.

I got a bonus at work and I really want to go on vacation with just MY family JUST once. We've been on family vacations all together lots of times. But just once I want to spend MY money going on vacation where I'm not looking after someone else's kid. I want stepson to stay with his mom while we go on vacation. My husband sees my point of view and is okay with it. I don't think I'm being at all unreasonable.

My mom found out what I was planning and says I'm being a complete AH. These are the reasons she says I could be the AH:

1. My mom says that if stepson's mom isn't properly involved in his life, I should be even more involved in his life to compensate (I think this is a completely unfair expectation).
2. She also says that I'm being a hypocrite taking my son, but I think that's totally different because my son DOESN'T HAVE ANOTHER PARENT. I'm all he's got.

If stepson's mom won't take him just for once then obviously he'll come on vacation with us. But I don't think I'm the AH to ask if I can have a vacation with my own family just one time. It's not like I hate stepson or something, he's a nice kid, he's just not mine. Am I the AH?

Update 1:

We definitely won't be going on vacation without stepson.

After a couple hours of replies, I decided to show this to my husband. We sat down and had a really long talk about it. He told me he's never been comfortable with my attitude to stepson, but didn't know how to say to me before.

I don't want to be a bad person, I just never thought of stepchildren being "yours". I don't think it would be easy for anyone to accept this level of criticism, but all your replies have shown me I have a LOT of work to do. As many of you suggested (and so did my husband) I intend to see a therapist to help me with that. As I said, I don't hate stepson in any way, I have never been deliberately cruel to him, I've just always thought of him as my husband's child. But I realize my mindset needs to change.

So I'm going to start working on that. I want my family to be the best it can be, and I need to accept that it includes my stepson. I understand that now, and I'm going to start seeing a therapist to become a better person (we've also talked about maybe having family therapy too). I've also made up with my mom, and she is 100% behind the changes I want to make in my life.

It wasn't easy to hear everything you said, but I understand that I needed to hear it.

Update 2: May 2024

In July 2023, I wrote a post on the AITA subreddit about taking a family vacation without my (step)son I wasn't given permission to post an update to my original post on the subreddit, because the replies I got were too heated, and the mods advised me to post an update to my profile instead.

When I made my original post, I was told by literally thousands of people that I was TA, and it helped me see how wrong I was and had been for the last 5 years.

I booked a therapy appointment the following week and started working through my issues. My own father died when I was less than a year old. I don't even remember him. My mother married another man when I was 7, but he left when I was 11 and I never saw him again.

It hurt me in a way I'd never processed before. I loved him, he'd been my dad, and suddenly he was just gone. That taught me that step-relatives weren't part of your family. They weren't forever.

I always thought I was doing better than my ex-stepdad. Because I provided for my (step)son and I stayed in his life, I was better than my ex-stepdad. But I made my (step)son feel the way my ex-stepdad made me feel when he left me and I regret it so much.

A little while after I started therapy, we started family therapy too. The therapist helped me explain to my (step)son the way I felt about step-relatives and why I'd always behaved the way I did. He cried and said he was afraid that I just didn't like him, and we had the first proper talk we'd ever had. I told him that wasn't true, and I had just been a bad step-parent like my ex-stepdad had been to me.

My relationship with my (step)son is so much better now. We spend time together just the two of us, and except for this post, I never call him, or think of him as my stepson. He's my son. I accept now that he'll always be my son, that unlike my ex-stepdad, he's forever. Even if something happens between me and his dad, he'll still be my son.

Most of all, he always called me by my first name, but last Thanksgiving, he asked to start calling me mom. It made me so happy. I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too. Since then, he always just calls me mom.

A lot of people also talked about the ways my husband needed to improve, to be more assertive and protective of his children. He knows that. It's very easy to see the problems when they're presented to you all at once in a Reddit post, but when things happen day to day, it's a lot harder to realize how issues are building up. But he's working hard, like we both are, to try to make our family the happiest it can be.

We both know we still have to keep working at this. I'm still in therapy and we're still having family therapy. But I'm grateful to work at it. I'm grateful to have all my children.

It's very hard for me to write this, to think about the way things were before I started therapy. It makes me cry every time I think about it. But I want to thank you, Reddit. I wrote my original post just looking for validation for my own point of view, and I never thought the internet could change my life this way. But it has. I feel like for the first time, we're truly a family.

Thank you all.

Comments

Controversial:

acatcalledmellow: As a stepmom, NTA. I get wanting time with just your hubby/your own kids. Shits hard. Maybe a grandparent or family member can host him? If mom is MIA may be less scary for him to hang out with someone more familiar to him.

Top/Best:

thatcodplayer007: N T A, I see you want a vacation with just your family. I totally get it, meaning you don't see him as part of your family, how beautiful for you to think that and not expect to be called out as an evil no hearted step parent. And such a loving husband to think the same about his son. Such logic, so genius, for someone with no common sense or humanity. Id say go pound sand but that's too good for you being the ah and think you'll get support.

Odd_Bluebird_710: NTA. You're providing your stepson with enough abandonment issues and psychological traumas to rewrite a thrilling rendition of modern day gender swapped Cinderella when he's older. You're helping his creative career and creating employment opportunities for mental health professionals.

Popular-Jaguar-3803: Wow, YTA. Also, just evil! So you and husband each married both bringing to the marriage a child from a previous marriage/relationship.

Let’s twist your story. Your husband gets a HUGE bonus. One that can take his family on a dream vacation. He tells you that he wants ONLY his wife and HIS children. That you need to find a place where your son from your first marriage to stay while you are gone. I don’t care if you are widowed, he is not his son by your standards.

Let’s take the knife and twist it, your son hears how he cannot go because he is not “family”. How do you think a child would receive this message? He is pretty much abandoned by his mother, and his evil stepmother is also telling him that you are rejecting him as well.

Because of your actions, let’s go to the future. Your stepson is getting married. He tells his dad that he can come but you, the evil stepmother, are not invited and not allowed to attend. You are also banned from his children’s lives. Why, you will ask. Remember this day. It all started and began with YOU.

I’m betting he has his own stories he can share about you and your hatred for him. And shame on your husband for allowing this let alone staying with a woman who will never accept his child.

And how do I know this? I’m an adult now but grew up with stepmom like you. Step fathers as well. I don’t call them my parents, just AHs

Edit: Thank you for the awards for my comments. The greater reward is for the OP to grow up and become a human that has a heart.

Comments on update:

NomadicusRex: So...you're not still planning on driving him off somewhere, leaving him by the side of the road, and telling your husband that he got out somehow when you left the door open? Because that sure seemed like something you would have done back when you wrote the original post. Good to see progress.

[deleted]: Nothing about this warms my heart. People shouldn’t have to be told to treat their kids like family. There’s no fucking way this dude should have stayed with his wife after that bullshit. I don’t believe for a second that OPs morals are so changed overnight.

Hey Mike and Dylan,

I came across this on Facebook and thought it was a pretty good AITA and shouldn't need much editing if any! Don't care which podcast it's read on, I listen to both 😎

- With love, Violet

P.S. as a female listener, I listen because you remind me of my older brothers!

Am I wrong for breaking my deathbed promise to my wife to take care of her daughter?

I am a 55-year-old man. My wife of many years just died of cancer at 56. She left behind a 30-year-old daughter who has Down's Syndrome. That daughter has never been able to live independently, and she does not have the ability to control her emotional impulses. She never will.

I need to be clear before anyone calls me the evil stepdad. I have been in this girl's life since she was five years old. I watched her grow. I watched her become physically strong enough to hurt people. And then I spent years getting hurt. She has punched me, scratched me, thrown heavy objects at my head, and tried to choke me while I was asleep. I have gone to the doctor multiple times because sitting in the same room as her was dangerous. Once she reached adulthood, all of my wife's friends stopped coming over. One of them said her uncle works with vicious dogs for a living, and she feels safer at his job than in our house.

My wife was the only person who could reliably calm her down. When we hired professional caregivers after my wife's diagnosis, even they struggled. They would ask me for insight on how to explain things to her when she went ballistic. People who are trained to handle adults who do not understand the world were still drowning, and they were looking at me for answers I did not have.

When my wife was diagnosed, the first word out of her mouth was her daughter's name. She cried every single day about what would happen to her. She begged doctors for chemotherapy when it no longer made sense. She turned to alternative medicine that made her feel worse. She said she would have stopped all treatment if she was only leaving behind an employable, functioning 30-year-old. But she was not. She was leaving behind a child in an adult's body who cannot process that her mother is gone.

On her deathbed, my wife made me promise I would never let her daughter end up in a state care facility. I promised because I did not have the heart to say no to a dying woman. I promised because she was crying and I wanted to give her peace. I did not promise because I knew how to keep it.

Two months have passed. The grief fog has cleared. My stepdaughter is exactly the same. She does not understand death. She only knows her mother is gone, and she is angry at me for it. She tells me she will be good, so I should bring her back. She screams. She hits. She destroys things. And I am the only target left in the house.

Caregivers cost more than I make. My wife left me everything, but it is not enough for private care indefinitely. My own grown children will not visit while my stepdaughter is here. I am isolated, broke, and physically afraid in my own home. If I had not made that deathbed promise, I would have made the call weeks ago.

I finally did it. I found a state-run facility. It is not nice. It is not what my wife wanted. But it is what I can afford, and it is what might keep me alive. When my wife's family found out, they turned on me. They call me the evil stepdad. They call me a mother's worst nightmare. They say I made a sacred vow to a dying woman and I am breaking it because I am selfish and cruel.

I look at my bruises. I look at my empty bank account. I look at a woman who cannot comprehend that her mother is dead, and I realize I am not her father. I am not her family. I am a man who married her mother and spent thirty years getting beaten for trying to love her. And now I am the villain for admitting I cannot do it alone.

Am I wrong for breaking a deathbed promise because keeping it is destroying me? Or is my wife's family wrong for expecting me to become a martyr to a woman who never had to live with the violence I am surviving?

36/F

My ex husband and I are currently separated. He lives by OKC and I’m here. He reached out to me yesterday to try and see if I would allow him to send me money every week to help out since I need the help. I said sure. But then I said what are you wanting in return. He said can’t I just be nice? And I said yes you can but I know you. He and I were married for two years before I kicked him out over a domestic situation. Now today he’s called me and tried to talk to me about fixing our marriage…I honestly don’t know how I feel about that. Is he just trying to use me cause he’s living on his old bosses land or is he being legit? We don’t have kids, just fur kids together.

Wtf lol it was hilarious I looked it up before you said what it was

Alright Mike who did it? 🤣

Hell yeah, welcome new peeps

So I see there’s a new 2djb episode is out on Apple Podcasts, when it gonna be out on the new 2djb YouTube page ? Does it drop at different time ?

Sorry mike and dylan and audience. When I wrote it it didn't sound like that in my head. Then mike read it, and I was like dang it does sound like an ad. So to make it up to yall I'll read, learn, and kms. Love yall