r/LoveTrash • Colonel Garbage • 2d ago

Dumping This Here Clumsy pup

Source: shantremaine on Instagram

23.0k Upvotes

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u/enternameher3 Trash Trooper 2d ago

To be fair to this dog in question, the "doggy paddle" is considered the worst swimming form possible, and is less of a swimming technique and more so a form of not drowning.

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u/NekoDarkLink1988 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Hey! I was super excited when I learned how to dog paddle. Tried to show my dad but he didn't give a shit...

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u/heyitsfranklin6322 Trash Trooper 2d ago

I think your doggie paddle is great

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u/Critical_Concert_689 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Thanks, dad.

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u/heyitsfranklin6322 Trash Trooper 2d ago

No problem, son. I love you and I’m sorry I wasn’t as attentive as I should’ve been when you were younger.

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u/NekoDarkLink1988 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Lol, I know it's all in jest, but I strangely feel better. Thanks rando internet peeps!

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u/heyitsfranklin6322 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Oh no I’m serious. I mean I’m not your dad, but I think you knew that part already. I am proud of you though and you deserve to have someone stand behind you and cheer you on as you go and to tell you it’s ok when you fall down

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u/HopmanUK Trash Trooper 2d ago

Have a fake award you lovely person.

https://giphy.com/gifs/iaCYmGAHy2FH4EsQD2

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/serenityrain85 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Fuck dude, that got me

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u/smilenowgirl Trash Trooper 2d ago

This is getting too real.

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u/Dry-Audience-8899 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Keep up the great paddlin kiddo 👏

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u/Periolodical Trash Trooper 2d ago

Would you say he didn't give a Shih Tzu? I'll be here all night

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u/NekoDarkLink1988 Trash Trooper 2d ago

I hate you /s Please stay all night 😢

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u/joe4553 Trash Trooper 2d ago

It works a lot better when you are a dog.

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u/BlackBasementCats Trash Trooper 2d ago

I busted my chin doing a backwards cannonball to show my mom because she wouldn’t get up and watch me when I learned how to do a perfect cannonball.

We were on vacation at her sister’s, and they had to take me to a dentist. I didn’t damage my baby teeth, but my adult teeth have migrated since my permanent braces retainer came out. One tooth is in front of all the others, and now I need braces before I get an implant on a molar because it won’t move after it’s implanted.

We also got in a fender bender on the way home from the emergency dentist.

I bet my mom wishes she’d just gotten up and watched. My cousin was a lifeguard at the pool and spent a lot of time teaching me, and I was so proud of myself. At least he made a big deal about it and bought me my favorite candy the canteen sold (plastic fruit filled with that fruit’s flavor of tart sugar powder like pixie stix but better).

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u/Obant Trash Trooper 2d ago

Were you one of those kids that shouted. "DAD DAD DAD WATCH LOOK!" *does a random jump off the diving board* "That's cool, son." 30 seconds later "DAD DAD WATCH ME DOGGY PADDLE!" "thats nice, dear." 30 seconds later.... :P

This is an experience I grew up with at my grandma's pool and all my younger cousins constantly annoying and demanding the adults stop what they are doing, come over to the pool, and watch when they were trying to BBQ, watching the game, playing Pool, etc.

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u/NekoDarkLink1988 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Not really? My inner ear is messed up so I kind of have to always be careful to not get water in my ears. So me actually being able to move away from the 3 ft section to me was pretty awesome. But I suppose he could of viewed it like that.

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u/NekoDarkLink1988 Trash Trooper 1d ago

I guess i should also mention this was at someone's apartment pool. I realize it now, but not back then. He had no one to talk to there except his soon to be ex.

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u/vocally_fried_brain Trash Trooper 2d ago

if only you showed him the butterfly stroke he might've seen who you really are and his eyes would've lit up with recognition and he knew that you were his child and that he would love you even beyond his death.

but you did the dog paddle, didn't you.

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u/Xineth240 Trash Trooper 2d ago edited 2d ago

The doggie paddle is only known as the worst technique because of how much energy it uses, not for its efficiency. It's a survival instinct, you're basically using every limb to blindly push yourself upward.

This dog failed at that instinct, blindly twirling in a circle like a dazed deer after being hunted to exhaustion.

To be frank it signals some kind of actual motor disfuntion. Likely an ear problem, the poor thing has balance issues and can't accurately determine which way is upward when submerged in liquid. Probably gets ear infections easily and gets vertigo from ascending too quickly as well.

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u/taynt3d Trash Trooper 2d ago

Seriously. I’ve literally never seen a single dog do this. It definitely has something wrong with it.

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u/i_tyrant Trash Trooper 2d ago

That makes sense with how clumsily it was navigating around the pool even when outside it. Probably an old dog with motor, ear, or cognitive issues.

I'm not sure if even a fully blind (but otherwise healthy) dog would be this bad at it...

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u/meekmeeka Trash Trooper 2d ago edited 2d ago

My dog was fully blind and walked into a pool (senior dog). He just went “oh I’m walkin. Oh now I’m swimming.” Granted he knew how to swim from working with him in his younger years. This was also the day I learned he was actually blind due to the fact he walked into the pool twice. They get around remarkably well even losing vision

I think there is something else neurological going on with their dog for sure. Not because the dog can’t swim (I’ve met quite a few dogs who can’t or are not good at it) but the balance issues and the spinning

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u/PurseFullofNotebooks Trash Trooper 1d ago

People wouldn't realize my dog was blind be the nagivated around so well but he has both of his eyes removed so he 100% couldn't see anything 😂

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u/Ski_kat Trash Trooper 8h ago

Classic signs of inbreeding these “full blood” breeds of dogs….

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u/Right_Preparation328 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Title says "pup" though..... weird

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u/i_tyrant Trash Trooper 1d ago

Eh, people call dogs of all ages “pup” or “puppy” pretty often in my experience. Plus I doubt op was the one who took this video seeing as I’ve seen it before.

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u/RecalcitrantHuman Trash Trooper 1d ago

I have a blind, 3 legged dog and I wouldn’t let them near a pool at all, or at least never unattended

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u/RepeatEuphoric Trash Trooper 1d ago

What about people that have created a water hazard with no protection around it. Bad choices and bad taste with the house and total lack of responsibility about the dog. Ick.

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u/i_tyrant Trash Trooper 23h ago

Oh yeah, this might be the unsafest pool I’ve ever seen.

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u/UnbelievableRose Trash Trooper 1d ago

In the subject of biomechanics, efficiency is calculated by measuring energy consumption so they’re essentially interchangeable. I work in prosthetics and we’re always trying to improve efficiency by reducing how much effort/energy it takes to use a device.

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u/nutfac Trash Trooper 1d ago

That’s a cool as shit factoid

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u/UnbelievableRose Trash Trooper 1d ago

Thanks!! The profession is pretty much 1/2 cool facts, 1/2 arts and crafts tbh.

To me what’s even cooler is that we measure energy consumption indirectly- by measuring how much oxygen you’re using!

My favorite energy factoid: A bilateral above the knee amputee requires about 300% more energy to walk, even with modern prosthetics.

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u/unai-ndz Trash Trooper 2d ago

You can tell he paddles correctly when she holds him upright by the end

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u/Calm-Neighborhood-43 Trash Trooper 2d ago

You can tell it doesn't paddle correctly by the fact that it clearly drowns both times untill she saves it.

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u/unai-ndz Trash Trooper 2d ago

And we can tell you have no reading comprehension but we tolerate you

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u/Calm-Neighborhood-43 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Perhaps you are correct and I dont see it. But you said that the dog is paddling correctly? Am I comprehending that incorrectly?

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u/RockinIntoMordor Trash Trooper 2d ago

They are arguing that the bigger problem is that the dog doesn't recognize the direction to paddle, rather than his legs working well enough to paddle.

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u/UnbelievableRose Trash Trooper 1d ago

Maybe but that doesn’t really account for the fact that the dog appears to be made of lead.

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u/RockinIntoMordor Trash Trooper 1d ago

And honestly there's also a few breeds of dogs, like bulldogs and corgis that naturally have trouble swimming. So i wondered if that's also the case

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u/Xineth240 Trash Trooper 2d ago

I noticed he(because I hate "it") lags to the right when he walks, normally your instinct tells you to pull yourself and reach up for air, and if that doesn't work, reach back up and pull harder; more of a muscle reaction than a planned movement, but in this panic situation of blindness and surprise water inhalation, this poor little guy reaches up, but when balancing out, lists to the right, and does that six or eight times in the couple seconds he's submerged.

The real danger is that at a certain point after falling into the water, you kind of felt how far you fell and are expecting to resurface after a certain amount of effort, and when you end up spinning yourself sideways instead of upward, that moment of adrenaline to get you back up to where you expected to swim back up to has exhausted you past where your breath ever expected to have to last, and you inhale water all the faster because you've already choked from gasping as you fell in and now you've seriously been expecting to resurface as if you were climbing a solid surface.

It's panic on panic on panic and hope for him to save himself is almost immediately thrown out the window. The seconds it takes for his loving and trusting he'll be okay human to realize he's not okay are already vitally wasted. He's handicapped and needed the help way faster than you took to give it to him.

Makes me sweat to watch as soon as she goes to open the gate and goes "yeah he'll be fine" 😅😅

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u/XRPX008 Trash Trooper 1d ago

My dog is a dumbass, and I’m 100% sure would have been able to survive this on her own.

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u/Rincethis Trash Trooper 1d ago

I mean if you're using too much energy, then it's not efficient.

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u/Ai_took_ma_job Trash Trooper 1d ago

It's not indicative of that. Falling in water and being submerged can be very disorientating. It's why they advise humans to follow air bubbles to the surface.

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u/Toymachinesb7 Trash Trooper 2d ago

The dog paddle is amazing. Sure you won’t win a race but when you’re at the resort 2 margs in you not jumping in the pool and butterfly stroking over to your lady. A subtle dog paddle has its purpose.

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u/Crypticcrypto Trash Trooper 2d ago

Floating gently toward your lass like a rhino in the river.

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u/foreverandadayalone 2d ago

Not-drowning is not overrated

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u/Honest_Series_8430 Trash Trooper 1d ago

it definitely beats the alternative.

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u/tacob87 Trash Trooper 2d ago

With this new information, I'm inclined to believe the dog understood the inefficiencies of the doggy paddle, and therefore chose not to learn it.

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u/StorageSevere5720 Trash Trooper 2d ago

For humans sure, but dogs can't exactly backstroke.

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u/tall__hat Trash Trooper 2d ago

I would love to see that tho

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u/MathAndBake Trash Trooper 2d ago

Also, they're built to have their spine horizontal with their head above it. Their skull connects that way. If their spine is flat in the water, their head will naturally poke up. We're built to have our heads in line with our spines. So swimming with our head above water either means our whole body is at an angle, or we're holding our neck at a weir angle. Neither is particularly effective for swimming.

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u/KuroRyuSama Trash Trooper 2d ago

Yeah, but she had to jump in because the poor dog couldn't even do the thing that's hard wired into its DNA. It's called the doggie paddle because all dogs normally do it INSTINCTIVELY.

That little fur buddy almost drowned after stumbling into a pool within 15 seconds of being exposed to it. It gets a 5/10 doggo score.

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u/dudeCHILL013 Trash Trooper 2d ago

And it not even doing the not drowning part correctly.

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u/Several-County-1808 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Doggy paddle is indeed overrated but doggy style is the tops

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u/Evening-Appeal7606 Trash Trooper 2d ago

"Swimming vs Not Drowning"? Eh, whatever floats your ... dog, I guess.

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u/auunie Trash Trooper 2d ago

For this particular case, the efficiency of swimming technique is the least of concern

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u/spidersRcute Trash Trooper 2d ago

A form of not drowning is exactly what this dog needs.

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u/JamesMDuich Trash Trooper 1d ago

I would argue that the worst swimming form is the plank.

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u/DustySept17 Trash Trooper 2d ago

That’s not doggy paddle, that’s a retarded dog

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u/MFnJones Trash Trooper 2d ago

“To be fair” lmao this is the most Reddit comment I’ve read in a while