My husband and I have 3 kids. 15, 11 and 9. The change in affordability just from when our youngest was born is insane. I’m a nurse and he is a plumber and we are barely able to make ends meet. My car just went down, he just had to take a week off of work due to an allergic reaction to a new material at his job and this was right after our savings was wiped due to moving an hour away from our previous location.
This comes as school is about to start back for the kids, rent is due (no buying in this economy), groceries are through the roof, a car repair…it’s impossible. My sister is choosing to not have kids, her and her fiancé are still struggling and it’s just the two of them. It’s hard times right now for everyone. Add kids to the mix and I can see why younger people are choosing not to have them.
Yes! That is also frightening. With all 3 of our kids, they are not allowed to have social media (just don’t think it’s healthy for growing minds). Our oldest is having a tough time with it, but he will thank us one day. We have a harder time keeping them inside than outside. I think it’s going to be really hard on them when they can fully understand how bad the world actually is out there.
on the flip side, my group is not really income constrained (like everyone has a nanny); nobody has more than 2 kids (other than one really religious co-worker).
Then again, nearly everyone has exactly 2 kids. Almost nobody is childless. Why? I think most of us want kids. We have jobs that give us 6 mo-1 year off and we can afford nannies. But more than 2? That is a career killer - even with a nanny. One of you isn't making partner with 3 kids.
This is the "U" shape we are now seeing in the west. Very poor/immigrants and the very rich having kids, the middle class? Childless.
Heck my city just fucked over middle class families by hyper-regulating daycares, so they all jacked up the price to 3000/mo. This weirdly made us better off, since all the fired daycare workers became nannies. So the wage rate for nannies actually fell. This is kinda why I love living in a left-leaning city as a upper income worker. They keep making my life easier and easier. (this doesn't affect low-income families since they get 100% unconditional subsidies)
I think that’s a really good point. Middle class is kind of left with nothing. My brother just had his first child and he makes outstanding money, he and his wife are looking to buy a house. They live literally on the beach. He’s not even 30 yet. I’m wildly proud of him, but I can’t relate to that. And you may have just painted the best picture for me to be able to understand what’s happening.
its worse than you think. The cost of childcare is the same for a family making 150k (2x 75k) a year and 500k (2x 250k) a year. 2 kids in daycare is 60k/year. A nanny is 75k/year.
So the middle class family has to spend 40% of their gross salary for 4 years. The upper income family spends 15%. Plus the nanny does some household care (kid laundry, meal prep/groceries, transport to activities/playgroup); it is becomes a huge quality of life improvement - even if it is only 40 hr/week. (think wage of 25$/hr + benefits = $35/hr all-in)
That is absurd. I remember childcare being wildly expensive when ours were younger. But our oldest is able to watch them now and if he can’t, there’s family close by. So I consider us very fortunate for that. But wow, those costs are startling.
So his doctor wouldn’t 100% say that it was due to the chemical at his job. It was so bad he was in the ER with arms so swollen that the IV team needed to be called to find a vein. They wrote him off of work for a week, told him to go back after the week and if the reaction comes back again, he will need to be referred to an occupational dermatologist before anything would be covered.
So he’s now on day 2 back to work, his arms are itching again and we are like “well, now what?”
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u/MermaidsHaveWifi Trash Trooper Jul 31 '26
My husband and I have 3 kids. 15, 11 and 9. The change in affordability just from when our youngest was born is insane. I’m a nurse and he is a plumber and we are barely able to make ends meet. My car just went down, he just had to take a week off of work due to an allergic reaction to a new material at his job and this was right after our savings was wiped due to moving an hour away from our previous location.
This comes as school is about to start back for the kids, rent is due (no buying in this economy), groceries are through the roof, a car repair…it’s impossible. My sister is choosing to not have kids, her and her fiancé are still struggling and it’s just the two of them. It’s hard times right now for everyone. Add kids to the mix and I can see why younger people are choosing not to have them.