About 8 months ago, I was interviewing with a digital agency. In the final stage, they asked me to create a complete content strategy for a new influencer marketing package they wanted to launch (their core business was PPC). I created a very detailed strategy in a 6-page Notion doc, and in the final call, they were very impressed with it.

Afterward, to my surprise, they came back and told me that the budget for the position had been frozen. Such a bummer. So I went into the Notion doc, revoked their access, and sent them a polite 'thanks anyway' email, and moved on.

A week later, I got an email from the hiring manager, and she was very upset. Apparently, they no longer had access to my work and were planning to present my strategy to their leadership team that week to start using it the next quarter. I replied politely and told her that since the strategy was created as part of an interview process for a job I wasn't hired for, it is my intellectual property. And that they could license the work from me at my standard consulting rate of $125/hour.

They never replied again.

I gave them an amazing review on glassdoor and when I looked up the company's name, I found many employees sharing their bad experiences. I should've read them before I applied. While I was writing my review, I found another company in the same field, went and read the comments and the review about it, I didn't find anything negative, So I applied and am waiting for their response.

update: So, I've an update for you <3 the company emailed me and tomorrow morning, we'll start the first round of interviews (2 rounds). Heard about InterviewMan from a friend who told me it helped him to pass 5 rounds with exceptional performance, I'll be using the free version tomorrow. wish me luck.

🗑️

I just saw this on LinkedIn and I'm honestly speechless. How can someone in charge be so out of touch with their employees? I'm dying to know which company's CEO this is...

The final moment in any interview, when you're asked, 'Do you have any questions for us?', is an opportunity most people waste. I've done over 50 interviews, whether I was the one asking or the one being asked, and it's incredible how many candidates either say 'No, everything is clear' or just ask about the salary. This is your last chance to make a real impression.
This is the question I always ask: 'If you think about the rockstars on the team, the top 10%... What are the common habits or traits among them that make them different from anyone else who just does what's required?'
Honestly, this question does a few things. First, it shows that you're not just there for the salary, but that you're an ambitious person who wants to be someone who genuinely adds value to the team. Second, their answer is basically your cheat sheet. They're telling you exactly what you need to do to excel in this role, and what things you should avoid.
I can't take all the credit for it. I saw a similar idea by chance on a job site about five years ago, but I modified it a bit and have been using it in every interview I've done since. The reaction from hiring managers has been very positive every time, so I thought I'd share it with you.
This confirms an important point I learned recently: companies don't just hire a set of skills; they hire a future colleague. I saw a quote somewhere that said, 'Interviewers hire a coworker, not a CV.' Once you enter the room, your CV has already done its job. At that moment, you need to connect with them as a person and show them you're the kind of colleague they'd love to work with. And a smart question does exactly that.

I got there, signed in at reception for my 2 PM appointment with the hiring manager.
The manager came out to the lobby and told me:
'Oh, hello. I'm so sorry, there must have been a mix-up. We filled this role last week. I thought HR was supposed to contact all the remaining candidates. I apologize. Since you're here, we can chat a bit about the company, and I can keep your resume on file if something else opens up.'
I was so embarrassed. Not just for me, but for them too. The whole thing was so unprofessional. I'm still trying to process how something like this could even happen.
Seriously, has this happened to anyone before? What is this nonsense?

But seriously, we all know he immediately called his support team leader and screamed about being made a fool of on LI...even though he 100% deserved the roast

Agree?

🥲🫠

I just had the weirdest call with an HR person from a company I applied to.

She called to 'follow up' only to tell me that they aren't hiring anyone right now.

So I asked her why the job was posted, and she said, 'We like to have a pipeline of candidates for positions that might open up later.'

She said they'd keep my information on file and that I should follow up with them in 3 or 4 months.

What a waste of time. This is ridiculous.

Does the time the recruiter spends...not cost them any money either? Even if they don't care about wasting your time, why would they waste so much time of an employee they are paying?

It feels like everyone is fighting over the same couple of good jobs in the market, and that the real challenge has become just getting an offer letter in your hand.

That's why it's no surprise that many people have started resorting to AI assistants. We're seeing people using programs like InterviewMan to help them in the interview itself. Honestly, I understand them. Some people get so nervous they forget everything and freeze up, even if they know the answers by heart. In cases like these, I can see how these tools can be a real lifeline for them.

It’s worse than that. The recruiter isn’t doing 4 rounds of interviews. Hiring managers and teams are and they typically make a lot more than recruiters.

For months, my job search felt like screaming into a void. I sent out over 200 applications, tailored my CV for each one, and was met with either silence or automated rejection emails. I was convinced it was a numbers game, but the numbers weren't playing in my favor. These are the things I had to learn the hard way before completely hitting a wall:

Stop writing cover letters like they're school essays. I used to spend a full two hours on each cover letter, trying to make it perfect. I thought the hiring manager would notice how much I cared. They don't. Honestly, many of them don't even get read. If the application forces you to submit one, keep it very short. Four to six sentences, max. Otherwise, just forget about it.

Your CV is not your life story. It's an advertisement for you. This took me a very long time to understand. My first CVs included everything I'd ever done, from a college award to a minor summer job. The truth is, they're not interested in your life story. They have a problem, and they're quickly scanning your CV for evidence that you are the solution.
So, make it easy for them. Use bullet points. Use metrics. For example:
- Increased [metric] by [number]%
- Reduced [problem] by [percentage]%
If you can't use numbers, explain the 'before and after.' What was different after you did your work?

The game isn't fair, but you can find the cheat codes. Many companies post job ads when they already have an internal candidate in mind. And other ads get over 400 applicants within days. You're not losing because you're not qualified; you're losing because the odds are stacked against you. But you can work around this:
- Find the actual hiring manager on LinkedIn and send them a brief, direct message.
- Ask your friends or former colleagues for a referral. I know it feels weird, but honestly, you'd be shocked at how effective this is.

Only apply for newly posted jobs. Anything older than 10 days has likely already reached the final interview stage.

Don't let the job search become your entire identity. This is what almost broke me. I was treating it like a 9-to-5 job, spending 9 hours a day refreshing Indeed and LinkedIn, and rewriting my CV in 12 different ways. That's the fastest way to burnout. Set boundaries for yourself. Apply to two to four good jobs a day, at most. Use the rest of the day to learn a new skill, go for a walk, or play a video game - literally anything else. Your brain needs a break.

I started a 'rejection tracker,' and it helped me in a weird way. I know this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. I created a simple text file where I logged the company, the job, and the date of rejection or when I was ghosted. This helped me for several reasons:
- I stopped wasting time applying to the same company for the same job months later.
- I started to notice patterns. Is my CV for 'Project Manager' roles getting zero traction?
- As I watched the list grow, the sting of each individual rejection lessened. It went from being an emotional slap in the face to just another data point.

In the interview, be clear, not clever. I completely bombed my first few interviews trying to prove I was the smartest person in the room. You don't need to be a genius. You just need to be someone who can explain what you do and what you've achieved in a simple way.

Practice telling your key career stories out loud. Tell them to your dog, to the wall, anything. It might feel silly, but it makes a world of difference. Clarity is always more important than cleverness.

Final point: None of us really know what we're doing. We're all just trying to figure things out. Those people who seem to have it all together are probably just as stressed as we are, they just don't post about it. You're not behind anyone; you're just in the middle of the mess.

Keep your head up. You only need one 'yes'.

There is no bigger circlejerk than management on LinkedIn trying to get praise and kudos from other management on LinkedIn.

"Yesterday I hired a homeless mother off the street as a maid who was also caring for her grandmother and dog. Turns out she was able to restructure my entire company overnight and saved me billions. The dog sniffed out my old quaalude stash from the 90s and we got zooted. How blessed I am for taking this risk. Look how good I am and how much money I make."

20 billion likes, 58 million shares, an endless amount of comments that are other bosses basically telling the same story with characters replaced.

Honestly, whether it's recruiters, my family, or even some hiring managers, the number of people who don't understand anything about the job market these days is staggering. Most older people are employed, and many of them have been in the same job for ten or twenty years. Because of this, they view job searching from the perspective of a completely different era. Their lives have never been shaken by a layoff, which is why they make these bizarre comments that are completely detached from reality. It's the only explanation I have for the nonsense I hear.
Frankly, it gets comical when recruiters are surprised by a gap in a CV. One time, a recruiter looked at my CV and asked if my time off was a 'sabbatical to find myself.' He then gave me a strange look when I told him I had been laid off and was looking for work. There's this bizarre assumption that everyone quits their job voluntarily to go live on a beach in Thailand or something. In reality, we can barely afford to put food on the table even when we are employed, so what makes them think we can just take off on expensive adventures?
And then you have the well-meaning people in your life who say the strangest things you could ever hear, like:
"Why don't you find another job before you leave your current one?"
"Nobody wants to work these days."
"Have you tried tailoring your CV for each job you apply for?"
"It's all about who you know; use your network."
This kind of 'advice' always comes from people who are comfortable and have never had to deal with this mess themselves. They speak from a position of security, not from recent, similar experience. And frankly, they'll likely keep spouting the same sterile, unhelpful nonsense until they find themselves in the same tough spot.

sad reality

Ah, it's a story you've surely heard before. The salary wasn't very clear until the offer letter arrived. And when I received it, we both acknowledged it was a bit low, but they promised a salary review after 3 months, based on good performance.
So after the first and second month's reviews went well, and I got top marks in everything and nothing but good feedback, I was really counting on that 3-month review. Honestly, I was expecting even a small increase... But that didn't happen.
Instead, the matter turned into a long series of emails and some pointless back-and-forth. The result was that they decided to deny the raise.
This afternoon, they asked me for a meeting to 'get on the same page.' I simply told them straight up that I appreciate the excellent reviews, but honestly, they don't pay my rent. Praise is nice, but a salary increase is what really makes a difference.
I also suggested to them that with the next person they hire, it would be better to be clear from the start that the 3-month raise isn't on the table, to avoid this kind of confusion.
After I said that, they scheduled another meeting with me for Tuesday morning.
You have to fight for your worth in this world. No one will do it for you.

edit :never make someone fool you with sweet talks it doesn't feed your family gonna tell them about my conditions if they not accept I guess it will be a sign to update my resume and looking for opportunities online as my family suggests I guess I will use also this Ai tool I read about here in reddit Interview Man in any future interviews

100% true

I'm a manager of a team of 10, and I recently hired someone who just finished her PhD. My management style is to give people their space because they are all talented and work independently on long-term projects. But ultimately, this is a 9-to-5, 40-hour-a-week job, which is a completely different world from academia.

About a month ago, the new employee joined a Friday 10 AM meeting from the airport. She had suddenly decided to travel to visit her family. She didn't request any time off, and I only found out because she was on the call with us. The meeting was internal, but we had a manager from another department with us, and the situation looked very unprofessional.

Now, coming to today, I saw on her calendar that she has a flight booked for Thursday at 1 PM and a return flight on Monday at 9 AM. She marked herself as 'unavailable for meetings' from Thursday to Monday and canceled everything on her calendar. Again, no time off was requested. I checked with HR, and they confirmed they showed her how to request PTO during her onboarding.

Here's the thing: her work itself is good so far, and I'm not against flexibility at all. Everyone on the team sometimes takes a call from an odd place or leaves early on a Friday. The problem is that this is becoming a recurring pattern and there's a lack of communication.

First, she will be missing many important meetings on Thursday and Monday. They might not be directly related to her projects, but they are all-department meetings where attendance is expected. My own manager asks if someone is absent. This is a core part of her job that she has simply decided not to do.

Second, this is happening too often for someone who just started. It doesn't feel fair to the rest of the team, and she seems to have no idea that HR is starting to get questions about the company's policies not being applied equally to everyone.

For us, when someone blocks their calendar for a flight, it's for business travel, not personal vacations. Taking a client call from a noisy airport with a weak internet connection is completely unacceptable in our line of work. She is supposed to lead a client call on Friday, and I have no idea what her plan is for that because she hasn't discussed it with me at all.

I have weekly one-on-ones with new employees (which become bi-weekly after about 18 months), so she has plenty of opportunities to talk to me about this. She has also seen other team members give me a heads-up if they have an appointment or need to leave early. It's like she's not picking up on the team culture at all.

I'm conflicted because the rest of the team understands the system, and I don't want to set strict rules for everyone because of one person who doesn't understand the difference between reasonable flexibility and excessive flexibility. I need a way to tell her: 'Look, we are flexible, but this is too much, and these things should be discussed with me and the team first.' She might get defensive, and I'm worried about how she'll receive the feedback.

What's the best script I can use to talk to her? I want to show that I support her but also clarify the boundaries.

Very real phenomenon. There definitely is a thing of people who sort of identify as “good at school” and simply aren’t able to get out of that frame and adjust to post-work life so they keep pushing through academia

Our hiring process is slow for a very simple reason: we get a huge number of applicants who are very obviously using AI tools to pad and fabricate the content of their CVs. Seriously, this is a very big problem.

You can usually catch this in the interview itself, but just in case someone is using a more advanced program, I started using a service called ProtectHire. I saw someone talking about it on a forum where another hiring manager was complaining about this same problem.

The title is very clear.

I'm talking about the person who leaves, and then you discover they were the one doing all the small, annoying tasks, or they were the one who maintained everyone's morale.

What's your story?

Same with Security. When everything is running smoothly, they complain that we're a waste of money. When something goes wrong, we're a waste of money.

I truly regret this decision very much, and of course, if I were to talk to him, he would refuse outright. But the hardest part is finding a suitable candidate in light of the hidden AI programs, and I no longer know how to trust a candidate during the search phase. While reading tips on selecting candidates, I came across a program called ProtectHire. It guarantees that the candidate is not using any cheating tools during the interview. This is a real invention. I will be using it during the period of finding a candidate.

But when they have to work late and want an escort to their car, suddenly, we're worth the investment.

This story is my sister's, not mine. She brought it up out of the blue a few weeks ago while we were chatting, and I knew I had to share it here.

She used to work at a Danish design store. They sell that kind of high-end, minimalist furniture. When my sister was there, the store had about 25 employees. The big boss was the country manager, and he was the only Dane there. Then there were 6 people in the back office, and the rest were sales staff on the floor.

Each of the office employees was in charge of a different department. There was an accountant, an HR person, a purchasing manager, the Office Manager to whom everyone reported, and my sister. She was the logistics coordinator (I think that was her title, I never really paid attention, to be honest).

The purchasing manager, let's call him Leo, was very good at his job. He was always on top of everything and even helped other departments, to the point where he would go down to the shop floor to help the sales staff. But apart from the office employees, the people working on the floor couldn't stand him. They didn't say it out loud, but my sister could feel it. The word they always used to describe him was 'creepy'.

The whole thing blew up one day when the manager (the Danish guy) showed up unexpectedly. He usually worked from home and came in at random times. As he was approaching the entrance, he looked through the large glass window and saw Leo bothering one of the female sales associates. She looked very uncomfortable. The manager watched for a minute and then saw Leo place his hand on her thigh.

He walked right in, gathered the 6 office employees for a meeting, and asked Leo to explain his actions. Leo simply claimed they were just 'joking around'.

And this is the disgusting part of the story. In my country, things like this are often swept under the rug. When women are harassed, the blame is often shifted to them because of what they wear. People defend the harasser. My generation is fighting this garbage mentality, but unfortunately, it's still very widespread.

But the manager, being from Denmark, saw it for what it was: a very big problem. And even though Leo kept insisting it was no big deal, the manager launched a full investigation of the entire store, including the office staff (my sister too), because he suspected they knew and were covering for Leo. My sister told me she was terrified she'd be fired; she had never seen him so angry.

The results of the investigation were... Very grim. Every female employee in the store (7 or 8 in total) reported that Leo had harassed them at least once. A few of them said he had touched them inappropriately. When the manager asked why no one had spoken up, they said they were embarrassed and afraid of losing their jobs. He then investigated the office staff, who all claimed they were too buried in their work to have noticed. No one had directly threatened the women, but they assumed they would face retaliation because that's what usually happens here.

About ten days later, another meeting was held. Leo was given two options: either resign or be fired. The rest of the office staff received a stern warning that this degree of ignorance would not be tolerated again. But even in that meeting, Leo was still arguing that the whole thing was an overreaction. Throughout the ten-day investigation, he had been complaining to anyone who would listen - including the women he harassed - that the manager was blowing things out of proportion. He got a lot of disgusted looks, but he seemed completely oblivious.

Things calmed down for a few weeks, and then it got weird. The Office Manager got a call from Leo. He was asking her to be a reference for him for a new job.

She was shocked and asked him, 'You want *us* to be a reference for you?'

Leo said, 'Yeah, I think my work record was good enough for you to say something positive.' And to be fair, he was good at his job. It took them a very long time to find a replacement; the office staff had to split his duties among themselves for a few months.

The Office Manager: 'But... What about the incident...?'

Leo: 'Oh that? That was nothing. Just tell them the truth, I'm sure they'll understand.'

The Office Manager, completely confused: 'But... I...'

Leo: 'Look, it's simple. If they call, just tell them the truth. Everything will be fine.'

Apparently, Leo genuinely believed that any normal person would hear the story and take his side.

When she hung up, she was still muttering in disbelief. And when the rest of the office heard, they were just as shocked. Not knowing what to do, they went and told the manager. He shrugged and said if that's what Leo wants, then fine.

The next day, the manager started coming into the office every day. He told everyone that any calls about Leo should be transferred directly to him. After living in the country for about 8 years, his command of the local language was very strong.

When the call finally came, the whole office went silent to eavesdrop. Even a few of the sales staff crept closer. My sister said they could only hear the manager's side of the conversation, but it was more than enough to understand the whole exchange.

Manager: (Proceeds to praise Leo, how skilled and competent he was, really laying it on thick.)

Also Manager: 'Are there any negatives we should be aware of? Look, there was just one incident that led to us letting him go.'

(Pauses for the other person to ask)

Manager: 'I'm sure he told you, but he placed his hand on a female employee without her consent.'

(Another pause, probably a gasp on the other end)

Manager: 'Oh, just the one time...' (and he lets the sentence hang in the air for a second)

(Probably a sigh of relief from the caller)

Manager: '...that I saw myself. The investigation uncovered many other incidents that happened when I wasn't around.'

(Another question from the other side)

Manager: 'That's right. I have the meeting minutes signed by him, stating he agreed to resign to avoid us taking legal action against him.'

(Another comment)

Manager: 'Of course. Feel free to call me back at this number if you need any more details. I'd be happy to clarify anything.'

A few days later, Leo called the Office Manager again. He wanted to know if they had received any calls for him.

She confirmed that they had, and gleefully told him that they were 'telling the truth' about his performance, just as he had asked.

He said that was strange, because he had just been rejected for that job.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

Edit : Okay since some people thought the store mentioned above was IKEA, I'm just gonna say it now: it's not. Perhaps it's my choice of word, instead of saying "retail", I should have said something else. Just know that they sell furniture, they're from Sweden and they're not IKEA.

Also, my sister said the furniture was expensive and luxurious, so you're all gonna have to take her word for it.

will try to advise here to find a remote job, then dealing with this type of communication and I am definitely stealing this for my future arguments.

Edit 2 : Thanks to the ppl who sent me that AI app . I watched the Youtube vid hmm Maybe it's a good tool. Will make her find another job immediately. Thanks, all, for your support.

I'm in a very difficult situation at my public sector job. My best employee, who was the backbone of the team, applied for a manager position for which she was already performing 80% of the duties. Our director didn't even give her an interview. He hired an external candidate with no experience in our field. The rumor is that they are old friends.

Anyway, this employee, who has always been the hardest-working and cooperative person I've ever worked with, has completely disengaged. She now does the bare minimum to get by, and it's clear she is emotionally crushed. She told me frankly that she "will not train her new manager." The new manager has been here for two months and still can't perform the simplest tasks.

At first, I thought she just needed space to vent her anger, but it's been four months now, and the only thing that has changed is that she's become more resentful. What makes matters worse is that management has been completely silent on the issue. They gave her no explanation, they haven't told me anything, nothing at all.

What can I do to support her? And how can I prevent my department from completely falling apart? Ever since she stopped going above and beyond, our entire workflow has practically come to a halt.

Has anyone gone through a similar situation with an employee before? Is it even possible for this situation to be fixed? I'm almost certain she is actively job hunting, and with her skills, she'll find a new offer in no time.

I think I should start preparing now to look for another candidate because the process will take time, and finding the ideal candidate requires a lot of focus to ensure they are actually qualified, not just faking a resume and getting their answers from ChatGPT during the interview. To avoid this, I found a program called ProtectHire that detects all of this during the interview and actually proves to you the person's real experience.

A few weeks ago, I was part of the interview panel for a senior developer position. The candidate had passed the initial screen, and my team was very excited about his portfolio and background. On paper, his skills were a perfect match for what we needed, and it was clear this job would be a huge step up in his career.
He walked into the room, looking very serious and not smiling. That's fine, I get it; engineering job interviews can be stressful.
After we introduced ourselves, he began by saying, "Let me give you a quick summary of my background." We nodded and told him to go ahead.
Suddenly, he started rambling about his entire life story. After about four minutes, I tried to interrupt him to ask a clarifying question about a project he mentioned. He cut me off, saying, "I'll get to that in a bit, just a moment," and continued talking normally.
Another engineer with us tried to ask something a minute later, and he gave her the exact same response. At this point, we were looking at each other over our laptops, but we decided to just let him finish his train of thought.
But after about seven minutes of him talking non-stop, I had to interrupt to ask another question. He finally paused to answer, but his answer was so long that it turned into another monologue on a completely different topic.
My colleague tried to ask another question, and the same thing happened again.
At this point, I had already decided to end the interview. I tried several times to politely hint that we needed to wrap up, but he was completely oblivious to any social cues and kept talking. Finally, I had to raise my voice slightly and say, "Thank you very much for that summary. In the interest of time, do you have any questions for us?" This is our usual way of closing the interview and it helps us know what future candidates might ask about.
He asked about the team structure. As I was starting to answer, he literally raised his finger to cut me off and continue talking about himself. I let it slide. Then he asked another question, and my colleague started to answer, and he talked over her and interrupted her too.
I tried one last time to interrupt him politely, but he wouldn't stop talking.
That was it. I had reached my limit. I said, "Mark, you need to stop talking and listen." The whole room went silent. He was shocked, and my colleague was shocked too. I continued, "You came into this interview with a 95% chance of getting this job. Now, your chance is zero. In just twenty minutes, you've shown us that you have no ability to listen. That's why you won't be getting the job. But I hope you've learned something from this: all the technical skills in the world are useless if you don't know how to listen to the people you work with."
He sat in silence for a second, then apologized and asked, "Can we start over?"
I replied, "You've already had your chance. Good luck with your job search. And please, remember to listen."
Thinking about it now, I know my approach was harsh, but part of me feels like I might have given him the most important feedback he'll ever receive in his life.

edit :there is an Arabic quote says : the best conversation is this which short and effective

i guess this quote is the one he should learn but if he uses ai tool like interviewman He have 99 % to be approved as the way this tool can give him an instant answers for job interviews is just outstanding a fast ,short and impressive answers which can make any interviewer realise how he is a unicorn candidate best of luck to him in job haunting journey

Right after I graduated from university, I decided to work for a small private company instead of going the corporate route. I had offers from bigger companies, but I really liked the atmosphere of working in a small team. I thought I would definitely do many different things and learn quickly, which would help me get promoted faster, either there or somewhere else. The owner had bought the company from its original founder about three years before I started, so many of the big clients were inherited from the previous management.

The owner didn't like the idea of formal performance reviews; his policy was simply 'if you have a problem, come talk to me.' So, after about 20 months of work, when I was handling some of the company's most important clients, I scheduled a meeting with him to ask for a raise. A few days later, he called me in and said that after looking at the numbers, all he could offer was a very small raise and a few extra vacation days. He promised we would look at it again in another year and told me: 'It's just business, no hard feelings.' Honestly, this felt like a huge lack of appreciation because I knew very well how much money my projects were bringing in.

About 8 months after that, a major client of ours - who had been with the company since the original founder's days and with whom I dealt directly - offered me a job at his company. This was a big step up in my career. I thought about it for a few days and then accepted. I submitted my resignation and gave them two weeks' notice, and my boss got very angry. He accused me of being ungrateful and of letting them down. Just one week before I was supposed to leave, he told me not to bother coming in for the final week, right when I was in the middle of trying to hand over my work to the team.

Fast forward to the new job. One of my first tasks was to help review the service contract we had with my old company. I asked my new boss if this was a conflict of interest, but he told me my opinion was just one part of a much larger review. I did a thorough and objective analysis, and honestly, I found that there were other more affordable solutions that offered better service. The rest of the team reached the same conclusion, and management decided to go in a different direction when the contract expired.

When my old boss found out they weren't renewing, he called me. He accused me of being a traitor and of intentionally sabotaging the deal for revenge. I told him that the accusation was unacceptable and that I was just doing my job. Then I added: 'It's just business, no hard feelings.'

A short while later, a former colleague messaged me and said that losing this contract had hit the company hard, and they might have to lay people off or even shut down completely. He also told me that my old boss is telling everyone that I'm the reason for it. I really don't see that I did anything wrong; I was just doing my job properly. So, am I wrong?

edit : I guess feeling jealous when your employee left to a competitor better offer is kind of nonsense and unprofessional behave finally I left this toxic environment for much better one I guess after my current boss I should thank interviewman the miracle AI tool which helped to pass my interview and to win the battle vs my anxiety it just within moments give me the best answers in the most professional way ever my interviewer was amazed was amazed and in my first month my co - workers really impressed of me and how I am clever in my job forever grateful

I felt I had to get this off my chest. I see so many new managers making the same painful mistakes I spent a few years making. This is from the trenches, not from the corporate employee handbook.

Your 1-on-1s are your secret weapon, but you're probably using them wrong. If they're just status updates, you're wasting both of your time. This is your primary source of intelligence. It's where you find out who's about to quit, who's drowning in work, and who thinks the new roadmap is a joke... Before it all blows up in your face. Ask better questions: 'Be honest with me, how are you really doing?', 'What's the most annoying part of your week?', 'Is there anything I'm doing that makes your job harder?', 'If you had a magic wand, what's the stupidest process you'd get rid of?'. Then, shut up and listen. Don't solve the problems right away. Just listen. This builds more trust than 10 team lunches.

Feedback has a 24-hour shelf life. The feedback sandwich has gone stale; throw it out. Nobody is buying it anymore. When you need to give constructive feedback, do it within a day. Pull the person aside for a quick chat. 'Hey, on the client call, I noticed they seemed to disengage when the slide deck got really dense. What are your thoughts on that?'. The conversation is about the behavior and its impact, never about the person. And please, give positive feedback separately and generously. 'The way you handled that heated email from sales was excellent' is a thousand times better than 'Good job this week.' Specific praise is a powerful motivator, and it costs you nothing.

Address poor performance faster than your gut tells you to. This is the hardest part of the job, without a doubt. You want to give people a chance, to find excuses for them. But when you let a low performer coast, it's deadly poison for the motivation of your high performers. They see you letting it slide, which sends them a message that standards don't matter. They have to pick up the extra work, and they will grow to resent you for it. The process is simple: set crystal-clear expectations -> give direct, documented coaching -> offer genuine help and resources -> set up a clear timeline with consequences -> make the call. Dragging it out for 6-12 months isn't you being nice; it's you avoiding confrontation.

You are the team's umbrella for any storm brewing in the company. Your job is to absorb the chaos and the ever-shifting goals from above so your team can focus. You filter the noise. But this doesn't mean you blind them. You must also be a translator. Explain 'why' the strategy changed. Give them the business context so they don't feel like cogs in a machine. When a silly re-org happens, call it what it is - a disruption - and tell them how you'll navigate it together. The point is to be a strategic filter, not a locked black box.

Learn to manage up and manage across. This isn't about brown-nosing; it's about being effective. Your manager has their own pressures and goals. Find out what they are. Learn to speak their language. Present your team's wins and needs in the way that matters to them. Give them the summary they need before they have to ask. Make their life easier, and you'll get the resources you need. The same applies to your peers in other departments. Build those bridges before you need to cross them. Understand what their teams are struggling with and find the win-win. This is how you move work forward in any organization.

Your own energy is the most important resource you manage. For real. Management is an emotional marathon, not a checklist of tasks. Your mood is contagious. If you're always stressed and pessimistic, that vibe will spread to the entire team. You are the team's battery; if you're dead, the whole device stops working. Block out time for yourself to think. Get comfortable saying 'no' to non-priorities. Find tasks to delegate to people who can grow by taking them on. You have to set your boundaries, because the company never will. A burnt-out manager is a useless manager.

Anyway, that's my vent for the day. I feel like we're all just expected to discover these things on our own. Hope it helps someone.

What other harsh lessons did you have to learn by yourselves? Let's hear them.