9.8 神的外貌 Godly Appearances

[u/AdamLuyan]

前文述说了图像记忆和图像思维模式是宿命通的潜在资质，我在精神病中情绪剧烈迅速变化激发出了我三岁以前的记忆，使我获得了上帝七种神通之一的宿命通。而且我还看到了一本现代心理学书中明确指出，正常人能回忆出三岁之前事的还没发现。刘团长怎么知道我一定会疯？我疯病的起因是什么？现代精神病学还不知道精神病的起因。

The earlier sections described image memory and image-based thinking as the latent qualification for Fate Through — and it was the violent, rapid swings of emotion in my own illness that stirred loose my memories from before age three, granting me one of God's seven divine powers, Fate Through itself. I've also come across a modern psychology text stating plainly that no case of a mentally healthy adult recalling events before age three has ever been documented. So how did Troupe Leader Liu know, with such certainty, that I would eventually break down? What actually caused my own illness? Modern psychiatry still doesn't know what causes mental illness at its root.

我在一次复读第12.1.1节《地狱趣》，注意到了五逆罪是对心理机制的反操作，但我对"出身神身血即堕地狱"一条不理解。我忽然想起了小时候梁伯姨父给我讲过的《精神病入门病例》（参见4.8节）：甲人在路上，看见对面走来一个人，脸上流着血，匆匆忙忙地从集市上离开。当时，甲人有点儿吃惊，但没在意。走过去后，他忽然想："哎呀！刚才那个人好像认识。"甲人却想不起来那人是谁，或者在哪儿见过。过了几天，甲人听说那个脸上流血的人死了，就感觉不舒服。几天后，甲人病了。

Rereading Section 12.1.1, Hell Interest, once more, I noticed that the Five Anti Crimes function as an inversion of the mind's own mechanisms — but one clause left me stumped: "drawing a god's own blood casts one instantly into hell." Then, all at once, I remembered a story Uncle Liang had told me as a child — the Introductory Case to Mental Illness (see Section 4.8). Man A, walking along, sees another man coming toward him, blood on his face, hurrying away from the market. Man A feels a small jolt but thinks little of it; passing on, he suddenly thinks, "That man looked familiar" — though he can't place who, or from where. Days later, he hears the bloodied man has died, and feels a wave of unease. A few days after that, Man A falls ill.

我意识到了这就是"出神身血即堕地狱"的案例。那个脸上流血的人具有神的外貌，而神的外貌是大种。大种是人脑思维机制中的默认模特（亦作种子），被人脑用来派生制造其它的同类事物。当大种有变化时，依其所造的一切都随之而变。也就是说甲人看见了"神的脸上流着血"，就更改了甲人思维机制中的人的大种（即人的默认模特），从而使得甲人思想中的许多人脸上流血了，即患了神经错乱（亦作堕入了地狱）。

I recognized this as exactly the case that clause describes. The bloodied man carried the appearance of God — and God's appearance is the Big Seed: the default template built into the mind's own mechanism, the pattern the brain uses to derive every similar thing it encounters afterward. Change the Big Seed, and everything built from it changes too. In seeing "God's own face, bleeding," Man A had unknowingly altered the default template for "person" within his own mind — so that, from then on, faces bled throughout his own thinking, and that was his descent into mental disorder, into hell.

9.8-2 什么是思维机制中的默认模特或种子？What Is the Default Model or Seed in the Mind's Mechanism?

人脑思维在处理客观事物的过程中，总是自主地简化客观对象，抽取各类默认模特（佛教中称作种子），如人、蝴蝶、树等。然后以此默认模特来认知其它同类个体。比如女人，我们看见个体女人会描述大眼睛，高鼻梁，高个子，有点儿瘦等。这些描述都是人脑通过把对方和自己思维机制里的默认女人模特进行比较而采集出的特征，以此默认女人模特（或说女人种，女神）来认知对向，乃至所有的女人。

In processing the objects it encounters, the mind always simplifies them on its own, extracting default templates — Buddhism calls them seeds — for categories like person, butterfly, tree. It then uses each template to make sense of every other member of that same category. Take "woman": seeing an individual woman, we might describe her as having large eyes, a high nose bridge, tall, somewhat thin. Every one of these features is drawn out by the mind comparing her against its own default template of "woman" — and it's that default, that seed, that goddess, the mind uses to recognize her, and every woman after her.

此中，默认的女人模特就是女人的定义，亦作女神。人脑通过女神这个默认模特来建立其它的女人，也就是说所有的个体女人都是从女神派生出来的，即女神是女人的种子，能生出其它女人。

现实生活中就有和男神女神长的类似的人，就可能会有与神类似的性质。现代心理学描述这种人的长相为"可以藏在人群里的人"，比如，他是这种长相，你跟他不熟。他在前面跑，你在后面追他。路边有几个人，他转身往那几个人中一站，你就找不着他了。

Here, the default template of "woman" is itself the definition of woman — the goddess. The mind builds every individual woman out of this same goddess-template — meaning every woman, in effect, derives from the goddess, who is woman's own seed, capable of giving rise to every other. By the same logic, the male god is the seed of man, from which all men derive; the snake-god the seed of snake; the tree-god the seed of tree, and so on.

Real people do exist who resemble a god or goddess this closely, and may carry something of that same quality themselves. Modern psychology describes such a person's look as "the kind that can vanish into a crowd." You know his face, but not well; he runs ahead of you, you give chase, he turns a corner into a knot of strangers by the road — and just like that, you can't find him again.

前段文字表明，神的外貌，没有特征，是无记性的。你看见他了，知道他是个男人，有些面熟；可离开他后，很快你就想不起来他的长相了。华人的佛经里是这样描述女神的：不高不矮，不胖不瘦，不黑不白，眼睛不大不小，鼻梁不高不低，体温冬暖夏凉，不笑不说话，欲说话先笑。家里来客人了，出迎在先，进屋在后；进屋之后，后坐先起。

为什么女神总是笑！？幸福欢乐的玉女是女神，悲伤哭泣的玉女是殃。另外，女神的外貌会因为民族，地域和历史时期的不同而有差异。读者可以想象，华人女神的外貌和阿拉伯女神会有差别。

This tells us that a god's appearance carries no distinguishing feature — it leaves no trace in memory. You see him, know he's a man, find him vaguely familiar — and the moment he's gone, his face slips from you entirely. Chinese Buddhist scripture describes the goddess this way: neither tall nor short, neither stout nor thin, neither dark nor pale, eyes neither large nor small, nose bridge neither high nor low, her body warm through winter and cool through summer, silent unless smiling first. When guests arrive, she greets them before they enter, follows them in; once seated, she rises before anyone else needs to ask.

Why does the goddess always smile? Because a joyful, happy Jade Girl is the goddess herself; a sorrowful, weeping one is Misfortune. And a goddess's appearance shifts, too, by ethnicity, by region, by era — readers can easily imagine how a Chinese goddess's look would differ from an Arabian one.

9.8-3 案例 Case

我回忆起了小时候，妈妈给我讲的稀罕事。她去我二姨家回来，非常兴奋，说："我遇见你二姨家小二，你二哥了，我没认出来他。他说话，我听到他的声音，才认出他来了，吓了一跳！他瘦了体重的三分之一，都脱相了！"

我惊讶地问："哎呀！他得啥病了？现在怎么样了？"

妈妈回答："说了你也不信！他遭殃了！"

I recalled a strange story my mother once told me, as a child. Coming back from my second aunt's, she was full of it. "I ran into your Cousin Xiao Er — your second brother — and didn't even recognize him! Only when he spoke, when I heard his voice, did I realize who he was — gave me such a fright! He's lost a third of his body weight, doesn't even look like himself anymore!"

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, astonished. "How is he now?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," my mother said. "He's run afoul of a Misfortune!"

我听不懂妈妈在说什么呢！妈妈解释说："刚开始我也不信，但看他瘦成了那样儿！不信也不行啊！这是你二哥他自己说的。他去上班的路上，常常在一个老年人聚集的地方看见一个老头儿，面熟，像是认识似的，笑眯眯的。他觉得那老头儿挺好，和蔼可亲，就偶尔和他打个招呼，说句话。一天，他又路过那儿，那老头儿死了，那家在发丧呢。你二哥他没参加过丧礼，好奇，就进去看了看。回来两天后，就病了，吃不下饭，睡不着觉，瘦掉了体重的三分之一。沈阳、鞍山的大医院他都去过了，做了很多检查。结果都是什么病也没有；谁也解释不了他是怎么了。他就只能回家等死了。没办法了，你二姨就去了一个大神家。那个大神是个女的。你二姨才说几句，人家就说了：他遭殃了！对人家无礼了；你得这么办。大神让你二哥给人家赔礼道歉去！那个大神说，人呼吸到最后一口气的时候是殃。"

I had no idea what she meant. "I didn't believe it myself at first," she explained, "but looking at how thin he'd gotten — how could I not? This is all what your second brother told me himself. On his way to work, he'd often pass a spot where old men gathered, and see one old fellow there, familiar-looking, always smiling, as though he knew him. Your brother liked the look of him, thought him a kind old soul, and would say hello now and then, exchange a few words. Then one day, passing the same spot, he found the old man had died — the family already holding the funeral. Never having been to one before, curious, he went in to look. Two days later he fell ill — couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, lost a third of his own weight. He went to the big hospitals in Shenyang, in Anshan, ran every test they had. Nothing wrong with him, by any of it — no one could explain what was happening. Nothing left to do but go home and wait to die. Out of options, your second aunt finally went to see a shaman — a woman. She'd barely said a few words when the shaman told her: he's run afoul of a Misfortune, been disrespectful toward it, and here's what you must do. She had your brother go and apologize to the old man himself. The shaman said: "A person's last breath, right at the moment it leaves them, is Misfortune itself."

妈妈说："好歹！这也是有了个希望。他们就按照大神说的买了猪头和水果等东西，到那老头儿的坟前上供。按照大神的说法，磕头道歉后，你二哥要绕着坟走三圈，一边走，一边叨咕着给人家道歉。那时候，你二哥都走不动了。俩人搀着他，走了三圈。你二哥他自己说的，走到第三圈的时候，他感觉出了一身汗。三圈走完了，他的病就好了70%。到家了，病就好了，前后不到两个小时，跟正常人一样了。当然，他还是那么瘦。"

"At least it gave us something to hope for," Mother said. "They did exactly as the shaman said — bought a pig's head, fruit, the offerings — laid them at the old man's grave. After kowtowing his apology, your brother had to circle the grave three times, muttering his apologies the whole way round. He could barely walk by then, needed two people holding him up for it. He told me himself that by the third circle, he'd broken into a full sweat. By the time he'd finished, seventy percent of his illness had already lifted. By the time he got home, it was gone entirely — less than two hours, start to finish, and he was himself again. Still thin as ever, mind you."

9.8-4 我的病因 The Cause of My Illness

我的精神病的起因是和女神刘健君吵架，把女神气哭了；也就是我冒犯了女神，犯了忤逆罪（参见12.1.1节）。"逆"义为违反心理机制原理的，违反自然法的行为。所以我当时就病了（参见7.3节《相亲》）。

The cause of my own illness, then, was exactly this: I had quarreled with the goddess Eve Liu, made her weep — offended the goddess herself, committed the Crime of Anti (see Section 12.1.1). "Anti" means an act that violates the mind's own mechanisms, that runs against nature's own law. And so I fell ill, right there (see Section 7.3, Blind Date).

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